Would you leave your husband for a man who you had more chemistry with?

Question

been married 13 yrs and wondering if it is right thing to do and what others would do in my place?

Answer 1

BEEN MARRIED 30 YRS AND I WOULD HAVE TO SAY A BIG N O

I TOOK VOWS IN FRONT OF GOD AND OTHERS THEY MEAN SOMETHING TIL DEATH DO WED PART!

Answer 2

nope.  

I'd focus on what was missing in the marriage.  The chemistry with the other person would be a reminder to me that I was neglecting something in my relationship and that I had lost something that I once had (I wouldn't have married him if I didn't have chemistry with him to start with.)

If you married someone who you never had chemistry with then I have to ask why?  Why did you marry your spouse?  What was it about him that you couldn't live without and you had to marry him?  Then seek that out before you dump him for a new chem partner.  otherwise in another 10-13 years or sooner you'll be dumping chem boy for someone else you have chemistry with.

Answer 3

You shouldnt. The grass isnt always greener over there..its an illusion

Answer 4

Your soda bubbles and fizzes because of the chemistry of the liquid.  However, like a soda, chemistry eventually goes flat.  You have a good, steady marriage.  If you leave it for some fizz, you will eventually be left flat.  Two or three years from now, you would be back here, two divorces under your belt, and asking how you could get your first husband back, who you hurt so badly when you left him that he doesn't want you anymore.  Go for dedication, not dazzle.

Answer 5

It's never the right thing to do when you ask if you should break up your marriage. The chemistry you have with Guy #2 will last a while, then you'll be wishing for your exhusband again. Better to put your money in to a good therapist than to throw away everything you have for something you refer to as "chemistry" ie lust.

Answer 6

Depends on what you have at home. Is your husband good to you? Is he faithful and does he do things that you need done around the house? Is he a good provider? Does he love you with all his heart? If this is the case, then you need to stay right where you are. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but **** is always in a cow pasture, so be careful where you step.  

Answer 7

How long have you had chemistry there?  Is it the high of the "new" person?  

Thirteen years is a lot to throw away for the grass may be greener on the other side.  Try finding out what is lacking in your current relationship and go from there.  Who knows, if you communicate with your spouse honestly - you maybe surprised he is going through the same thing.

Answer 8

YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOUR IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP PEOPLE ONLY GIVE 80% AND WHEN SOMEONE STRAYS WHAT THEY FIND IN ANOTHER PERSON IS JUST 20% WHICH IS THE 20% THERE SPOUSE ISN'T GIVING THEM. THEN WHEN THEY END THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THERE SPOUSE THEY REALIZE THAT THE OTHER PERSON CAN ONLY GIVE THEM THE 20% THEY WERE LOOKING FOR. SO THAT LEAVES YOU WANTING THAT 80% YOU HAD BEFORE. IN MY OPINION LOOK DEEP INSIDE AND FIGURE OUT WHAT IS LACKING 13 YRS ISN'T AN ETERNITY, BUT IT ISN'T A SHORT TIME EITHER. TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND AND LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. IS THERE NO COMMUNICATION? s*x? NO ATTENTION? ARE YOU STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM? THINK OF WHAT IS MAKING YOU WANT TO BE WITH ANOTHER MAN AFTER SO MANY YEARS. YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR..YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS THE LAST SAY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT MAKE SURE YOU MAKE A SMART MOVE. MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING THAT IS HARD TO MAINTAIN , BUT IT'S A COMMITMENT THAT WAS MADE TO EACH OTHER THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES.

Answer 9

Are you mad? After 13 years of roast beef and 2 vegetables every day, no wonder you now fancy some jam on toast. But will you still prefer it after 13 years?

Answer 10

What does chemistry have to do with marriage? LOL

No, I wouldnt leave. Once you are invested in a good marriage, it is worth it to resist temptation and carry on what you already started.

Answer 11

been there done that -- happier for that  

Answer 12

Are you happy with your curreny husband? At least content? Do you have children? There are a lot of things to take into consideration. Honestly chemistry isn't everything and it eventually fades. True love is a lot more than just chemistry, if your husband treats you right and you are still happy with him, especially if you have children, then I think you should stay. He is the one that has been with you through thick and thin for 13 years and not many people can say that!

But on the other hand, if you're not happy, and you are miserable, then maybe it would be the right thing to do. It all really depends. If I were you I would take all that into consideration. If the love is gone from your marraige entirely then maybe moving on would be the best thing to do.

Good luck!  

Answer 13

h**l NO i wouldn't just throw 13years into the trash, because what you think is chemistry could earn up being an ordinary infatuation.

Answer 14

So what you are saying is you are having an "affair" (because having a "chemistry" with someone else means you are having an inappriopriate relationship with someone that is NOT your husband).  The statistic kind of prove what other people are telling you (ie the grass isn't always greener on the otherside) as 75% of these inappriopriate relationships never amount to a long term relationship / marriage.  So if you simply lack the spark in your marriage (and it is good in other ways), I would think you should fix your marriage because odds are the person you have "chemistry" with won't be with you longer for a year.

Answer 15

Depends on a lot of things.  But i dont think so.

Answer 16

Are there kids involved? If not...leave. If so, think long and hard before you F up their lives just to satisfy your own needs.....

Answer 17

It's a tricky one.  Were you going to leave your husband anyway?  

If not, then stay where you are... the chemistry with this man could fizzle out if things became serious, it's just too much of a reckless gamble.  So just enjoy the chemistry for the meantime, and let this man's interest make you feel s**y and desirable again but don't act on it.  I hope your 13 years have been happy ones, and I wish you well.