Would you leave your wife of ten years, if she was infertile and you desperately wanted a biological child?

Question

Hi all,

I want to know what you would do if your wife of ten years was infertile and you desperately wanted a biological baby of your own. Would you leave her to have children with someone else or would you stay with her and give up the idea of having children?

Why would you do that too?

Thanks for all replies in advance. :)

Answer 1

He did not love her enough to give up his dream.

That's very sad; I feel for her. But let's not jump to the conclusion that it was an easy choice for him to make.  Sometimes we just have to be honest about the things that we can or cannot live with, and he could not live with the reality of not having his own kids. Although, personally, I'd have explored the surrogate mother route. I guess it's also possible that he was able to use her infertility as an excuse to leave her. If he'd really wanted to stay, he'd have stayed.  

Answer 2

There are many many cases where there are no children in a marriage for years on end and suddenly they have a child.   My relative's daughter in law is expecting after 12years of being married.  There are so many cases so one should never give up hope.

If a man really loves a woman and desperately wants a child he will not leave her.  They would perhaps have an IVF  but I am not sure whether that's possible with a sterile partner.

The King of Persia left his wife Soraya because she was infertile and he wanted an heir to the throne.  He loved her ...she was exiled to Germany and was not allowed to remarry if I remember correctly.

Answer 3

i will stay with her...you can adopt children...if your husband wanna a children he can donate his sperm so that the other woman can pregnant...today medical technology is so advance

Answer 4

Yes its awful, loving somebody is not just for the good times, it's for bad times too. How will your uncle feel if he were to be the one who can't father a child and his wife left him. there are other option like getting a surrogate mother to carry your biological child.

Answer 5

I wish every woman I was with was infertile.  Seriously, for me that would be a huge plus.

Answer 6

There is also artificial insemination so he can have a biological child no need for divorce for that reason now days.

Answer 7

Well if you loved the woman then you would stay with her no matter what.  There are other ways to go about things that dont involve adopting.  You could find a surrogate mother who could use the sperm of your uncle and then give the baby over.

I dont think that leaving her is good.

Answer 8

If I truly loved her, and wanted children, I would stay with her, and we would adopt children.

EDIT: In that case, I would STILL stay with her, deny myself having children, and spend lots of time with nieces, nephews, etc. to satisfy my longing for children.

Answer 9

Science and technolgy is so advanced nowadays that you don't have to worry about bearing a child.  Consult your OB, marriage counselor.  They can offer you the list of options for you to choose from rather than to separate ways.

Answer 10

Donate sperm to a sperm bank and let them know when it is used you want to be notified and involved in the babies life

Answer 11

I don't think anyone that is truly in love would leave - I know if my Husband had turned out to be infertile I would not have walked out on the person i had and loved - to have a child who I did not know yet and had no feelings for. Once you have children everything changes and they become your priority but until then it was my husband.

I hope that this is just a query and you are not in this unfortunate situation but if you are my heart goes out to you but just be careful that you do not push your husband away by doubting him constantly. If he says he wants you believe him and live your lives to full enjoyment - don't dread the worse it may never happen.x

Answer 12

I think I know who you're talking about.

The marriage vows mention something like 'for better, for worse'. Well, that's the worse. He should stay. Since the law doesn't offer annulments for infertility, he's stuck.

Answer 13

He married her for better for worse - unfortunately he got the worse, children do not make a marriage, sometime they cause problems in a marriage. How would he feel if it had been the opposite?

Answer 14

If he would leave her for that reason, then he was already wanting out. I would stay with my wife if that happen to her (us) because it would be hard enough on her not to be able to have children so she would need my support, understanding, and love to get us both through that. Most of the time when a woman can't have children they get very low self esteem and sometimes go into depression because they think that something is wrong with them and it's all her fault, when actually she has no control over that. Hopefully he (they) got checked out to make sure it was her, because he might wake up one day and find out that the problem was with him and not her and although it's still no fault of his own, it should make him feel terrible that he left his wife over something like that when he was the problem. A person can't fall out of love over something like that. If they stop loving, then there is/was a deeper problem, like maybe never truly loving to begin with.

Answer 15

You don't really have to do either.

First of all...(assuming this question is about you and your wife...that's how I'm going to answer it anyways) did you know before you got married that your wife was infertile?

And, even if she was you could still stay with her- you can always hire a surrogate mother, or maybe have someone else carry the child for you two? But leaving a 10 year marriage is very harsh!  

Answer 16

.In short, no, marriage is not just about children, you marry someone because you love them and you do this for better or worse, if this is happening to you I'm sure that you feel worse about the fact that you cannot have children than you husband does and he really should be supporting you through this, not giving you ultimatums. Oh and by the way you really don't have to completely give up the idea of having children, there are ways, you really should talk to someone about this.Sorry sweetheart, I seem to have assumed that you are talking about you, if you are, Good luck and I hope you sort this out to a happy conclusion.

Answer 17

No I wouldn't. I could try a surrogate mother if I was so desperate, or even getting eggs from someone else. Leave my wife? Only if I'd stop loving her.

Answer 18

I'm only 16 but if i was a that situation when I'm older, i'd stand by my wife. I will have been with her 10 years i wouldn't want to ruin that because of something like this. loves more important. If a guy does that and leaves, i think its really horrible. I mean i would think the women is upset about being infertile and then her man leaves i think its wrong and cruel. Marriage is about standing by each other through the good times and the bad.

I'd give up the idea of having children because i could not but i'd never give my wife that i'll have loved for 10 years over it. if anything this would make me adopt a child and give them a better life with loving parents.

Good Luck :)

edit, if he never wanted to adopt a child then i'd just give up the thing about having a child and support my wife more :) i'm not just saying i'd stay with her, i mean i would. thats what love is about.

Answer 19

I'd look into adopting, surrogacy etc.

Answer 20

No.

I wouldn't leave someone because of a medical condition that is not their fault.

I realize this guy doesn't want to, but if it was me I would look into adoption.

Answer 21

There is too much technology in the world for a man who really loved his wife to leave her for that reason.  He can have a biological child with someone who can't have kids, he can get a egg donor, have it fertilized with his sperm and put into her inventro.  If he leaves, he always wanted to leave and that was a "good" reason...at least to him.

Answer 22

No I'd stay with her and forget the idea or stay with her and adopt I wouldn't leave her  

Answer 23

I would not leave my wife for those reasons, because I married her a a person and would not have known if she was infertile.  That would just be life and having a child does not complete a marriage.  I would stay with her and not worry about having children.  Women are not baby factories.  That is just a lame excuse to leave someone and I would say that he does not love her or does not know wat love is.