Would you let this go or do something?

Question

My youngest son is 8 and in third grade. In the past I have driven him to and from school but this year he wanted to take the bus. He is an anxious child and has had some issues with being independent because of his mild learning disability and some other things he has been through. His issues are mild though and always improving, I mean no one who knows him realizes he has a learning disability because he seems like an average kid in every other way. Anyway that's a little background on my son.

So he decided this year he wanted to take the bus to school and home. I figure if he is wanting some independence I should give it to him because that is what we are striving for.

Well today was the first day of school and he came home and was telling me all about his day and he told me the bus driver said the "F" word on the bus because some kids weren't keeping their arms out of the aisles (not him, he was by the window).

What would you do? Just tell your child that wasn't very nice and let it go...call the bus company and complain....speak to the bus driver herself tomorrow...take him off the bus and continue driving him like I have in the past even though he says he still wants to keep taking the bus?

I am leaning toward telling him that wasn't the right thing for her to do and to just make sure to never repeat those words (which I already told him). But what would you do? I don't really want to talk to the bus driver about it directly because I don't want to embaress him.

Honestly I don't think swearing is the worst thing in the world, don't get me wrong, I'm not an over protective freak but I do think as a bus driver with children K - 4 she should watch her mouth especially when speaking TO the children.

Answer 1

I'd tell my child to never repeat the word, and if the bus driver was to say it again, to tell me and then I'd take action. People swear by accident under alot of stress, and kids are very rebelious these days. So, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Answer 2

Going by the days where I caught the school bus, I would let it slide, I take my hat off to bus drivers the BS they put up with is astonishing, I don't know how they do it, Just reinforce with your son that - that bad language isn't the way to go and it doesn't sound nice etc, I would NOT report the driver, as those kids can get out of hand on buses and going from what I've seen I would rather the bus driver did that then ignore it completely and let the kids run amok on the bus creating a danger for them all,especially if my child was on board. It wasn't directed at your child since he was behaving (well done to him) so let it slide.

Basically he's going to hear worse whether it's at school, on telly or just walking through a shop, you can't stop everyone swearing around your child, just educate him on the best course of action for him is all.

Answer 3

Are there other kids at your stop that you can confirm this story with?  Not saying that your little guy is story telling, but if you have a complaint about the school bus driver, the place to take it is to the school, either the principle or the transportation supervisor.  If you have the names of other kids that also heard this, it will bolster your argument for your son.  

If this happened, I don't think that you are over reacting.  No child of any age should be subjected to foul language.  Not from other students and especially not from authority figures.  

Answer 4

You should definitely talk to the bus company, at such a young age, they don't need that kind of influence, they might thinks its OK to say that stuff. I really think you should do something.

Answer 5

At that age I would be calling the Transportation Office about it. I'm not a big language freak either but that's totally uncalled for with that age group.  

Answer 6

You were right to tell him it was wrong and that he shouldn't repeat it.  You should report this to the bus company.  If the driver couldn't control her language, maybe she wasn't controlling her anger very well either. She didn't handle this the right way. There was no excuse for swearing at kids.  The bus driver won't find out which parent called, so your son shouldn't be embarrassed.  

Answer 7

I think you are on the right track. Unfortunately not everyone is considerate to children when swearing and no doubt he will hear someone else do it. As long as he knows that its not right and not to repeat it, it's fine. If it does occur on a regular basis though then I would speak to the bus company.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

I would speak with the bus driver before doing anything further.  I realize that your son was explaining what he heard and am not suggesting he's not telling the truth... but... it's always possible that something was misheard.  I wouldn't involve the bus company and risk trouble for an employee without first speaking with the accused to get the full story from their perspective.  Then, once you know everything, speak with your son as warranted and report the bus driver if she did curse.

Answer 9

Speak your mind hon, the bus driver is obviously in his or her wrong mind if they think they can speak to someone else child like that. The driver is dead wrong and should be disciplined.  

Answer 10

As a teacher and a parent, I've heard this same story a handful of times.

I can tell you now that calling the bus company will do absolutely nothing. They'll listen to your complaint but are not going to anything about it unless you called every single day.

I would first speak to my kid, as you did, and explain that it isn't a nice word and something that shouldn't be said. Next, I would say something to the bus driver. Something simple but said FIRMLY. "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't use foul language. It's not something I need my child hearing on the way to and from school out of an adults mouth and I'm sure other parents would agree."

Best Wishes =]

Answer 11

I would let it go and explain to your son that it's bad words and the bus driver shouldn't be saying it and not to repeat it.  I put my kids on a bus too, my daughter has sever anxiety.  I made friends with the bus driver so that I know my kids are ok.  Remember, your childs life are in the drivers hands.  Make friends with him, not waves.  I know you could just drive your son, but that isn't really the answer either, because what if for some reason, some day, he has to take the bus.  Don't start any trouble.

Answer 12

You're asking for opinions so I'll give you mine.  I honestly think you should let this one slide unless it happens again.  There is never an excuse for an adult to swear around children, however, I know how I used to act on the school bus along with my friends.  I'm surprised my bus driver didn't throw me out the window!

EDIT:  I'm in no way saying your little boy was the cause of her swear words!

Anyway, I think you should ask your son to keep his ears open and if it happens again, definitely speak with the bus driver first and if issues aren't resolved, THEN go to a supervisor.

Good luck!

Answer 13

well i guess first off i would call the bus company and let them know how the driver acts, or speaks to the children. she should not be saying this to a child of any age. i wouldn't take him off the bus he did nothing wrong and he may feel as if he did if you take him off. you just explain that it wasn't a nice thing for her to say and tell him he shouldn't repeat it, not much else you can do but to maybe let some of the other kids parents know how she speaks to the kids no matter what they do on bus or who does what she is in that business she should know how to react to those things. good luck

Answer 14

No bus driver should ever cuss like that! ever!!! I would report that to the bus company! Yes do it now!  

Answer 15

I would be speaking to my child and the bus company. Swearing isnt a major issue for me personally but it is an issue when any adult is working with children and using inappropriate language. Many parents of kids on that bus would be apalled to hear the driver is swearing. I think as a responsible person you need to bring this to the bus companies attention.

Answer 16

I agree with you... this is definitely not appropriate behavior for someone who is supposed to be transporting very young children.  I would:

- Tell your child that he heard a word that was inappropriate, and that you expect that he will not repeat it.

- Tell your child to let you know if a similar incident happens again.

- Understand that while bus drivers are often given parameters of behavior, they have no formal training in behavior management techniques, and often deal with children in ways that would make a behavior specialist cringe.

- If it happens again- call the transportation department of the school district and complain.  This person needs to be more closely monitored if they cannot control a busload of children without using profanity.  No child should be subjected to profanity in a school-controlled environment.  

- Talk honestly with your son about the use of "bad words", and why you do not use them in your home.  Kids are bound to hear stuff you'd rather they not repeat, so make sure that they know that if they hear them, they should not use it.  Talk to him about making "good choices", and what that means in respect to bad language.