Would you let your 16yo daughter spend the night?

Question

at her boyfriends house.He is 19yo. she is on the mini pill and youve met him before and he seems nice. They have already had s*x.

would you let her stay ??

if no why not ? if yes why ?

Answer 1

I would say yes. This is her being honest , shes saying shes going to spend the night at her boyfriends. You know exactly where she is and have a good idea of what she will be doing. Just let he rknow you care about her , you want her to be respobnsible for her actions and be careful. So, i would let her. Because you dont want her coming back to you to say she is staying over her 'friends house' and lying when she will be staying over his.

Good luck hun x

Answer 2

Legal to say yes but that is it. She lives under your roof so at any age she stays the night or doesn't at your say so.

It seems a little late to worry about her staying for s*x reasons unless you have other worries. He seems nice but you are her mum so he would behave himself.

Do you want me to chaperone the event?

Answer 3

why not if she's already had s*x and is on the pill i don't see the problem and if you have already met him i think you should trust her and if she blows her chance then you'll know you gave her a fair chances good luck xcx

Answer 4

If I were a parent, I think I would. They've already had s*x. Whats the worse that could happen?

Think about it this way - If she wants to stay over his house, she's going to. Wouldn't you rather you knew about it than her going ahead and doing it without your consent?

Answer 5

No, i do not care if she was on 4 different birth control methods i still would not allow it. She should not be staying on night with a boy.......She is already having s*x so what will she be wanting to do next, she will be stomping her feet at you wanting you to sign papers so she can get married...I would put a stop to this.

Answer 6

No, I would not. As it is, she is jail bait for him as she is a minor and he is over 18.

Answer 7

Of course. tell them it's not allowed and they will want to do it more. It's 2008. At 16 she can legally go where ever she wants. you know her better than we do. Is she the sort of girl to ruin her life and get preggars?

Part of being a parent is letting them go out their and make mistakes. You can't keep her in the nest forever. Best of Luck

Answer 8

No...not because I would be afraid of her having s*x (because she obviously is anyway since you know) but just out of respect for you. She needs to know that you're the parent and you make the rules. If she always gets her way, she will start to walk all over you. I know this because my mom wouldn't let me spend the night at my boyfriends house until I was 18 years old. Even though she really liked my boyfriend (now my husband) she felt that 16 was too young, and now that I look back, I totally agree. I am very thankful that she did that for me because her "18 yrs old" rule kept me a kid for a little while longer and I really respect her for that now.

Answer 9

It depends on how the parent feels. they will most probably have s*x so aslong as the parent feels comfortable with it then i dont see why not. It is also important that she gets told to use a condom aswell as accidnets happen and also they protect from STD's (its best to use both just in case)

hope this helps :)

Answer 10

Heya

Yeah i probably would let her , she is 16 legal and allowed to if she wants to. Not letting her may cause her to move in with the guy. She is on the pill so there is a decreased risk of pregnancy , you have judged the guy and seen he is nice. they have already had s*x, she isnt a virgin so there is no thing about her keeping her childhood. 3 year age gap aint that bad when i was in school 15 yo were dating 23 yo. at the end of the day , i would rather know where my daughter is and that she is safe. =] x*x

Answer 11

Yes of course you can she is 16 years old she has her own life that's why =D If she's already had s*x then she will again...so what? She's 16 and it's legal so yeah..If u don't she will hate you lol.

♥

Answer 12

*chuckle, chuckle*

and you are? the mom, friend?

well, there are advantages and disadvantages. but i would say yes.

ok, i'll probably get some heat for this.

if they have already had it, then what is the reason for saying no? they are probably going to get married when she is 18 and i guess they need to "practice" (haha) sleeping together.

whatever, i don't know. it's your decision after all, so why ask us? go ask your counselor or something.

not meaning to be rude or anything, but sometimes, you know, the internet isn't always the answer

Answer 13

YES i'd let her if i liked him and in some stated it is legal if your 16

Answer 14

yes shes on the pill let them have fun with each other im sure there not just gonna have s*x even though they will but thats not everything

Answer 15

I'm 17 and my boyfriends 21. I regularly stay at his and I'm moving in with him soon. If you have met the guy and know that they are in a sexual relationship whats the problem. Shes 16 and that's the legal age in England.

Answer 16

My mum allows me to stay over at my boyfriends, and vice versa. I am 16, he is just about 18. She knows we have s*x, she came with me to the docs to get the combined pill. However, there is one rule - we sleep in separate rooms. In my opinion, this is a fair rule and me and my boyfriend both  accept it - I would rather that than not be allowed to stay at all. His mum fully supports this idea, and until I am 18 me and my boyfriend have to sleep apart, although we often stay up until about 2am together and then I go back into his room at about 8am (his family are morning people and so are usually up then or soon after anyway)

I suppose it depends on your daughter and her boyfriend. Are they both mature, sensible, reasonable young adults? If they are, sit them BOTH down and let them know you are prepared to let her spend the night there if she keeps to your terms (i.e. sleeps in a separate room). You could also talk to his mum (if he still lives at home) and let her know your concerns.

If they are not, maybe let him stay at your house instead? That way, you can be there to monitor them.

Whatever you decide, explain your choice to your daughter in a mature, calm way. Maybe compromise a little with her.

Answer 17

h**l no

Answer 18

um.. its your call. the mini pills dont always work and if you want her pregnant at 16 or 17 then yeah, why not

Answer 19

No, I wouldn't let her stay. Reason for that is because if they already had s*x, I wouldn't trust her. And this boy is 19, correct? And the daughter is 16? 3 years difference in Teens, I don't like it. I had this kind of experience, so I would say no.

Answer 20

No, absolutely not.

I may not be able to stop them from having s*x, but I don't have to aid it, abet it, enable it, or give it my blessing. And I will not.

She comes home at night. Period. The end. If she insists on playing house at her age, then her darned adult boyfriend can support her financially and pay for her college tuition too. Because I won't.

Answer 21

Yes Babes,

They've Already Had s*x,

Shes Legal Now.

I'd Only Say No,

If You Felt Uncomfortable Or You Didnt Trust Her Or Her Boyfriend That Much.

x

Answer 22

no I would not, she is a minor and you could get into alot of trouble. And it doesn't say much for your role as a mother. Lay down ground rules for her. She maybe on the pill don't always work. My daughter did almost ten years ago. I now am raising her 9 year daughter, we love her more then life, things worked out here, it may not for you or anyone else.

Answer 23

Absolutely not. She's 16 and a minor. He's a legal adult.

While I know I can't prevent them from having s*x, she still needs to know I disapprove and WILL NOT condone her behavior.

EDIT* if age 16 is "legal" then if my daughter wanted to behave as a legal adult, she can move out and live by her own "adult" rules. While under my roof, my rules apply, regardless of age.

Answer 24

No.  It's just not appropriate in my opinion.  If they want to spend the night together, let them get their own place.

Answer 25

Sure, if you'd like to be a grandmother.

Not only is it illegal for her as a minor, but the pill is not fool proof and I would not condone such behavior. What kind of parent would set their teenage daughter up in such an environment to have s*x with another teenage boy? Instead of asking whether WE would allow our daughter to stay, the parent should be asking what her morals and values really are.

Answer 26

My mother never let me spend the night at my boyfriends house when I was younger.  She told me that what I do with him is my business but she is not going to willingly let me do something that she believes is wrong.  She told me that she made mistakes in her youth and that she did not want to see me make the same ones.  While I was furious about it at the time, I am really glad that my mother put down guidelines.

Answer 27

definately not. it doesn't matter if they've had s*x.. you're setting a bad example for her. you're telling her that it's OKAY to go spend the night with her bf.. which i am pretty positive you don't want your daughter learning that it's okay to move in/sleepover at guys houses whenever she wants.. that's irresponsible and teaches her bad parenting skills. stick to your guns.

Answer 28

Of course. She isn't going to get pregnant because she is on the pill, so what could go wrong? Just let her have some fun. Make sure she knows that if anything happens then you have lost your trust in her. If she has already had s*x then there is nothing else worse she could do.

Answer 29

yes i would, its not like they can do much else than have s*x and theyve already done that and you like him so they cant do much else, just talk to her and tell her to be responsible, respectful and safe.

Answer 30

if you dont let her she will sneak behind your back most likely. i know i did when i was 16. but stress the use of condoms. if shes having s*x with him hes problably having s*x with others as well. when i was 16 i dated a 23 yr old. i was legal but he was grown and could do what he wanted when my parents told me no. im 22 now and if shes been up front with you to this point i dont see a need in not allowing it.  but also the pill isnt 100%. i was on it with my fiance an we now have a 2 week old.