Would you let your spouse?

Question

Would you send your significant other on a vacation by themselves.?

My husband is returning from Iraq soon. I recommended that after hes been home a bit he go on vacation for a week just him and maybe a few of the guys. Im getting unbelievable shock from the other wives around me. Some are even angry and said I will make their husbands think it should be ok for them also

Your thoughts

Answer 1

yes, we do it all the time. i think it's daft to be as possessive over each other as some couples are

Answer 2

People are giving you are hard time because they do not know the word TRUST. I think the previous posters did not read "after he has been home a bit".

Personally, I think it would be best to for him spend time with his buddies so they can talk about the past and what they are currently dealing with since they have been home.

You are correct, do not allow bitter women to question your decision.

Semper Fi.

Answer 3

Ask him what he'd like to do.  After a tour of duty in that hellhole surrounded by "the guys," he may want just to be with you and to reconnect with the woman he loves - like a second honeymoon.  He can always go away with the guys later.  

God bless you both for your service to this country.

Answer 4

Yes, if she's returning from war (like your husband is, in your case).

He deserves a nice break.

Answer 5

your husband has been gone and now you are sending him away again how unloving

Answer 6

You are such a caring and thoughtful person, and a truly amazing wife. You're an inspiration to us all :-)

Answer 7

Sure why not and I've done that loads of times and we've been married for 24 yrs.

Answer 8

I don't think my husband would want to go alone nor would I want him to. If he's going on vacation, I'm going with him. Besides, when do we ever get to be alone?

Answer 9

I absolutely would let her go on vacation without me and she does the same. As much as we are devoted to each other, we're both fierce creatures, and need some apart time to raise some h**l with good friends. Neither of us worries too much when the other is out. We both trust each other completely.

Answer 10

My wife would not let me. Guys get in trouble when they are with other guys

Answer 11

You sound like a very confident person and trusting in your husband. I love getting away myself with just my friends, I think this is an incredibly selfless thing you are doing and SHOULD do it if he's all for it.  If he doesn't want to do it, then no, don't do it.  However, I think it sounds absolutely wonderful!  Friends, sometimes, are the best people to really really vent on especially when it comes to matters that may make one's spouse uncomfortable (war/killing).

Good for you.

Answer 12

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your idea - as long as your hubby agrees.  The other wives need to grow up and quit being so d**n selfish!  My wife did that for me when I came back from the war - the one that happened in the 1960s - and it saved our marriage!

Answer 13

I think you are a good wife. After everything your husband has been through overseas he deserves a little time to himself with some buddies. Coming back from a war is tough and sometimes the drastic change in a soldiers life can cause a lot of problems at home. If your husband agrees to it then I say letting him go on a vacation to relax and get adjusted to being away from war would be a great thing for him and the marriage.

I wouldn't worry about the other wives because you aren't married to please them, you are married to please your husband and yourself.

Answer 14

You are an amazing wife. Not only do you trust your husband completely, you are being very sensitive to his needs when he returns from Iraq. Many who fight in the war, return with high stress levels. I can see what you mean about the transition being hard.

Something that some of the posters here missed you saying was, "after hes been home a bit he go on vacation for a week.."...This indicates that you intend to be with him before his goes away for vacation. This shows that you are NOT unloving, but are eager to see him.

I applaud you for trusting your husband and putting his needs first in this situation. If you had gone to war, I would expect something similar from your husband to maintain your level of comfort and peace.

So many women still firmly believe that it's someone else's fault if our men cheat on us. It isn't. Men have brains. They know how to make decisions for themselves. If our men were going to cheat on us, they would do it with or without the help of another woman...even on vacation. Again, I think it's a good idea that you have here, and a very kind gesture. This might be one of those big things that your husband will love and cherish you for. Perhaps this is why you can trust him so much, it's very clear that you give him his space.

Answer 15

I wish I were you!!!!

You are very considerate. YES, I understand your kind thoughts that after experiencing undecribable moments at war, you don't want to get him stuck on "boring domestic" atmosphere such as doing house chores, listening to the screaming kids, etc.

However, you could actually ask him what he really likes to do. Prompt him to plan his own "recovery." If he likes to stay home with you and the kids, let him do that, but give him a space for himself, if he likes to go vacation with you/you and the kids, plan and schedule yourself to be able to do that, if he likes to go vacation by himself/with his buddies, just go ahead with your original generous plan. Ignore the other wives! It's your life!

Again, I adore your idea, and enjoy the reunion!

Answer 16

My hubby sent me to Vegas with a friend who was working out there for a week. It was great. I would totally let my hubby go on a vacation without me. If he needed it, I would have no problem sending him.

If you have trust it should not be an issue.

Answer 17

I just went to see my sick grandma by myself and my husband is going to see a friend who moved several states away by himself over the weekend in a few months...no biggy.  We trust each other completely.  We did this before were were married several times as well.

However if my husband were coming back from Iraq I would want to spend every possible moment I could with him.  Maybe he could go on vacation months later with the boys, but it would take a while.

P.S. Let your husband know we appreciate his bravery and his support of his country.  I realize him being over there in its self is a very controversial subject, but it is extremely difficult none the less.

Answer 18

Your intention to let your husband take a vacation by himself (if he so chooses) is a testament to the strength and commitment you have for each other. I have sent and bought vacations and get a-ways for my wife. We take vacations together, but sometimes she has interest that I don't enjoy, and I no problem letting her go on her own. I don't own my wife.  A relationship should be built on trust and knowing each other, not on smothering the other with your own insecurities. Good for you.

P.S. Say thanks to your husband. Everyone in this country owes him at least that. A vacation is well deserved.

Answer 19

I think you have a very trusting, positive relationship. Don't let what the other wives say affect you. Married couples are not surgically connected after marriage. I know (and I'm one of them) husbands and wives who go on fishing trips, hunting trips, to the beach, etc. with friends rather than together because they have different interest and what one likes the other might be miserable doing. I'm with you.

Answer 20

Of course, in fact, I just went on a vacation by myself for 2 weeks.  My husband has went on 2 week canoe trips with his boys often as well.

Answer 21

ere yes i do it all the time my hubby hates holidays thinks there just a waist of money ..so shud i stay home ????? i think not lol... and wots good 4 1 shud be the same for the other

Answer 22

Sometimes it's good to spend a bit of time away from each other. I often find that it's when someone's not around that I realise how important they are to me, and for people like me who are happiest on their own it can really strengthen a relationship and stop you feeling stifled. If it was happening often then it might be a problem, but there's no harm in it every once in a while. If you and your husband are ok with it, that's all that matters. :)

Answer 23

I wish i were married to you.  I prefer going on vacation alone but it hurts feelings if i say this.

Answer 24

I think that is an amazing gift to your husband and so thoughtful of you. Not only is it a gift to just let him be one of the guys, it is an amazing way to tell him you love him and trust him. That guy has been fighting for US, and you and your family have gave up so much and I think he should at the least get a week away and just relax.

As for the other wives...sounds like they have some trust issues!!!! Don't let what other people say bother you, it's what you and your husband decide that matters. Good luck to you both :)

Answer 25

If my significant other just returned home from Iraq, I would go with him on vaca, only because all the time he was away, I would be missing him so much and when he gets back Id like be with him as much as possible before he leaves again, because you never know, it may be his last vacation, and if it was me in your shoes, Id show my boyfriend the greatest time at home and on vaca together, to make up for the time hes been away. And when he leaves again you can feel more happy knowing youve spent more time with him and the best feeling of all - it made him happy. And dont think that would be considered selfish either, he is your husband and you love him alot, of course it would be natural wanting to be with somebody after not seeing them for a long time.

Answer 26

I don't see anything wrong your suggestion, but then again, my dad is an avid hunter and would take time off every year for hunting season.  

But as one poster said, he may just want to spend some time with you.  I would also suggest a weekend get away for just the two of you.

Answer 27

I don't think that's weird, given the situation.