Would you let your teen daughter go out with her boyfriend?

Question

if you knew she was not going to be in a house and she was going to be outside all day would you let her go out with him, without you following them every where.

Answer 1

When my boyfriend had his own apartment I would hang out at his house alone with him. Now that he lives with his parents, I still do the same thing. My parents call every few hours to check in with me but they know I don't do anything bad.

Answer 2

Ignore everyone who is saying to base it on her age. Honestly, judging her by her age and the actions of her "age group" is just a sure way to alienate her and cause you no ends of problems.

What you should instead base your decision on is how mature she is.

Do you trust her to take care of herself?

Does she know how to defend herself, both in terms of physically defending herself and calling for help, should the need for either, or both, arise?

Do you trust her judgement of character? Do most of her friends seem like fine, upstanding people?

Do you trust her boyfriend? You do know the man, don't you? What do you think of him? If you were her age, would you feel safe being out and about with him alone?

If you honestly feel that the positives of those factors outweigh the negatives, then go for it. Remember that giving her a bit of freedom now - even the freedom to get into a bit of trouble, now while she's young and her trouble is likely to be relatively small and easy to save her from - will teach her better how to handle freedom when it is thrust upon her later on, at a time when misusing it can cause her much bigger problems.

The best defense against a dangerous world is experience.

Answer 3

Yes, I would. As long as they're not in a house by themselves, they should be okay. Especially if you trust your daughter, that's what counts.

Answer 4

Is he a convicted felon or on his way to being one ? If not sure she can go.

Answer 5

of course I would. I have to earn my daughters trust some time and she has to earn mine. and besides the more your mother trusts you the more likely you are to be open and honest with her about your realtionships

Answer 6

Well, would it not happen either way? Chances are, she would find a way of getting around whatever I said, so it would make sense to "let her" hang out with him, with the understanding that he's a gentlemen--open doors, pay for whatever it is they're doing, and not try any slick moves, etc. Even for those parents who think they have their kid on a leash..., sorry she broke the leash once she read Seventeen Magazine. Those study groups at "Sarah's" may actually be a date with someone.

I'm 17 (not a parent), but that's how I am on dates and hanging out with girls. It's a good system. All the parents I meet have no problem trusting me with their daughter for the day, or evening. Parents, and girls, love a gentlemen with brains, a cute face, and a nice body.  It's the secret formula to getting any girl you want--make the parents love you.

But all that can happen once she's 16. None of that 13 year olds "dating" BS.

Answer 7

yes, i would... in fact, i already did..

but of course, i have to scare the s--t out of the boy first..

Answer 8

My daughter is 17 and her boyfriend is 18 - they have been an item for over 1.5 yrs now. We sat both of them down before they ever went out and told them our expectations. Also - if they were caught breaking our rules, they'd be grounded from each other for a long time. So far, so good. They are allowed to go to the movies, the beach, public places together - I let them go to an amusement park last week. It was fine. They go to each other's houses all the time and parents are always home. I trust them and if she did end up pregnant (which I don't think she will) - they are old enough to financially take care of themselves at this point. They're both college bound Christians and have plans - so as far as we know, they're waiting for marriage - hopefully. I am her mom, but I am not her personal policeman - she is old enough to start making a lot of her own decisions being a senior in HS. She's a straight A student, a member of an elite Jazz Band, NHS member, athlete, etc... and he's just as driven.

It depends on how old your daughter is, who they are hanging out with, if you know and  trust this boy, etc... Talk to them. I talk to my 4 children all the time about every subject. So does their father - we're involved. I don't believe in teenage dating, and I expressed this - but I can't stop them from liking each other. I didn't want her sneaking, I want it in front of me where I am involved, so we compromised. My kids don't drink, don't do drugs, try to make good choices, etc... so I have to let them start growing up and help them make good choices. It's hard, but it has to happen sometime.

If your daughter is 13 or 14, I would say no. 15 or 16 maybe,  17 or 18 sure! Use your best judgement.

Answer 9

Yeah I would do that with my boyfriend all the time and my parents had no problem with it.

Answer 10

I think it would all depend on how responsible the daughter is. How responsible the boyfriend seems.

Where are they going and how long are they going to be there?

Will there be any adults around?

It's based on what the parent thinks is right.

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 11

Of course i would have no problem just a little date nothing bad

Answer 12

Yea I would! When I was younger my parents let me do that all the time.. and I didn't lose my virginity untill I was 21!

Answer 13

yeah,  my mom would rather me be out with him then alone in a house with him.

geez, first people have a problem with kids that are 11-13 going out now its teenagers too!

Answer 14

yeah i would , sometimes you just have to trust that they will do the right thing

and if they dont make sure they learn from their mistakes

Answer 15

seems you think things can't happen in the 'outside' as much as the 'inside'. a parent needs to trust their child. if a child is reared well, the parents work shines through in that child and the parent shouldn't worry. worry is a useless emotion. trust needs to be built, it will never happen if a parent doesn't make the first move. me, i would let my daughter go with her boyfriend. if parents don't, teens find a way to be together behind the parents backs. best to be honest, open and up front.

Answer 16

ye well if i was old enough to have a teen but my mum would be ok with it

Answer 17

My mom wouldn't let me have a boyfriend at all.

Until i finish college....

xo Julie ox

Answer 18

well i am a teen and my mom lets me go out with my bf whenever i want to.  So i would let my kid go out with her bf if she wanted to.  I don't see any harm in it at all.  i don't think all teen girls just have oral s*x or any s*x and you have to date before you get married.  LOL

Answer 19

I would let her go if it was a double date and I would call her every hour to know where she is at.

I wouldn't want her to be in a house.

I would want her to be out at a movie or at a restraunt or bowling -- something active.

Answer 20

yes I would do that but under some conditions.

Answer 21

NO, kids will have s*x in public so being outside still doesnt make it safe.  make sure she is on birth control if she is or is thinking about becoming sexually active. i only mention this since she has a boyfriend and s*x usually starts once you have a boyfriend.  this is very important to avoid pregnancy!  supervise her well!

Answer 22

I wouldn't until she is 16 and make sure you have a curfew. I think you should talk to your daugther and tell her how you feel about her going out with her boyfriend unsupervised. But that you want to trust her to make the right decisions.

Answer 23

ya, just make sure you have her check in via cell phone every few hours. ask lots of questions (not too many though lol) like who r u with, where r u, ect,

this is what my mom did w/ me in high school. she never restricted me from doing stuff. but she always knew exactly who i was with, where we were and what we were doing.

Answer 24

I would never, sorry but am responsible, i look out for my dauhgter, i would never let any guys near my dauhgter unless they were married, do u want ur dauhgter to be doing oral, s*x etc without marriage and to god knows who? no wonder they end up single mothers degrading, isolated, rejected from society.

My Daughter has morales, principles, self-respect dignity, she will never ever go out with a guy unless she was married,

I belive the pretty slim tall girls usually wait till marriage, no offense to your dauhgter of course.

Peace.

Answer 25

yes i would trust her to not do stupid things....but my own mother won't let me have a boyfriend right now (i'm 15)

Answer 26

15, depending on the kid, or 16 up yes.  Anything below that no.

Answer 27

I think it depends on how much you trust her and what her rap sheet is.

Answer 28

Honestly I would rather her be in public where others are around to see what is going on rather than her be in a house with no one else but him!

Answer 29

It would depend on a few factors:

Her age

His age

How long they were "dating"

How well you know him and trust him

Where they'd be going

If anyone else would be with them

Example if I had a 16 yr old daughter with a 16-17 year old boyfriend who had been seing each other of awhile, I knew him well, trusted him, and they were going to the town pool with friends then I'd be okay with it.

If my daughter was any younger than 14 I'd have to say no way unless there'd be a large group of co-ed friends all going to and staying in the same place and as long as it would be where there are plenty of other adults around, like the pool, or the mall.

Answer 30

Yes lol i would be more inclined to let them out if they were not going to be in a house than if they were staying in...

Answer 31

Yes but only on a group date(depending on her age)