Would you like to share funny jokes?

Question

I want to hear more funny jokes. the funniest jokes wins.

Answer 1

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Answer 2

Two little boys were praying . One was yelling very loud "God please get me a bicycle." His brother said" hey you don't have to yell God is not deaf." The little boy replied "I know God  is not deaf but grandma is .

Answer 3

That McCain and Obama are the best we have to choose from to run this country!

Answer 4

a woman in labour goes into a coma just after her twin boy and girl are born.

she comes out of the coma a few hours later and the doctor says he got her brother to name her twins.

she says okay, what did he call my daughter?

the doctor replies denice.

she says oh, thats nice, and the boy?

the doctor replies denephew

XD

Answer 5

Your f**t was so big it was a hurricane.

Answer 6

      A  Parrot Joke

    A postal carrier is working on a new beat. He comes to a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT!  He looks down the garden and, sure enough, there's a parrot sitting on its perch. He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch.  The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden. He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly, it calls out: "REX, ATTACK!" ________________________________

Answer 7

Not really a joke, but:

I wish my grass was emo so it'd cut itself.

Oh, yeah, I just remembered (I don't think I wrote it right, though)

Little Mary and Little Jonny are sitting in Sunday school. Mary falls asleep. When the teacher asks Mary "Who is the Lord?". Jonny pokes Mary with his pencil. She wakes up "Jesus Christ!" She falls back to sleep, when the tacher asks, "What did Adam say to Eve after she gave birth to their 23rd child?" Jonny poked Mary with the pencil again. She woke up again "If you stick that thing in me again I'll break it in half!"

Answer 8

Q. what does one traffic light say to the other?:

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A. don't look i'm changing!!!lol!

Answer 9

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks i never got this joke