Would you look for your birth parents if?

Question

I have received all the court documents and the adoption form that was completed with all the names. Would you start looking for your relatives/birth parents?

Answer 1

I would but of course, its your descision.

Answer 2

I have never met my real father and would very much like to find him.  I have so little info and his last name is Wilson so I have hit a brick wall so far.

Answer 3

If it were me, yes, but I wasn't adopted.  Only you can make that decision, based on what you feel in your heart.  I would just say, if you choose to search, make sure you are prepared for any sort of outcome.  It could be very positive, very negative, or anywhere in between.

Answer 4

Absolutely!

The racial difference between your parents at that time in history suggests that there must be an interesting story there. A story that is part of your heritage.

At your age, medical issues start to be very important, for you and for them. They're getting old enough that waiting even a few more years could make all the difference between meeting them and visiting their graves.

You might have half-brothers and sisters! You might have nieces and nephews. Yes, there could be negative reactions from some of your biological relatives, but there could also be a lot of positive inclusion.

And if nothing else, you'll have found your heritage, your roots, so that you can move forward in life with a fuller understanding of your own personal identity.

Don't wait, and good luck!

Answer 5

I'm actually answering this on what my wife did.

She was adopted.  She was raised in a household where that was sometimes held against her.  She didn't want to look for her birthmother until both of the parents who raised her passed away.  That happened.  I took the original birth certificate and located the woman who was her birthmother.

On the other hand, I have a younger sister who was adopted.  She has no interest so ever in finding her birthparents.

It's up to you.  However, I think you've probably already made a decision if you have all the documents in front of you.  It's good to know where you came from genetically speaking.  There's no gurantee this will be a good thing.... it may be disappointing.  However, I will be praying for you and your quest.

Answer 6

I'd have no desire to at all.

Answer 7

Yes, if this is something that you want.  Which if you requested the information I am guessing you do.  No one gets any younger and some knowledge is always better than nothing.

Good luck!

Answer 8

If u are curious then do it, but if u dont really want to know why or how then i wouldnt, but i am adopted and i would want to know if my parents really loved each other and who i resemble and my mannerism, even though i had two wonderful adoptive parents, i always felt like when i came into this world i was nobodys baby and that i was unwanted and so that i why i ask this question now... do it and let us know how your experinece works out...

Answer 9

Only so I could perform the most atrocious acts on them.

Answer 10

I would if for no other reason, to end any questions I had.  1945 was all about WW2 and there were a lot of unexpected pregnancies occurring then.  There was no assistance and a lot of societal condemnation for women who kept their babies even if they were the same race.  There is no reason to assume that your mother gave you up for any reason but because there wasn't a choice.

Anybody searching for either a natural parent or child should always be aware that what they find may not be what they'd hoped.  At least you don't have to wonder.

In comment to Weezy's story above. I had a coworker who was found by her 31 year old daughter about 10 years ago.  Although they never developed a close relationship (too much anger in the daughter), the daughter did develop a sibling relationship with my co-worker's other two children.  So, sometimes other family relationships work out.

Answer 11

If I was adopted yes.  I had a brother that was adopted awhile back and I would love to find him so I know i would be the type to search out birth family.  I think that as long as the birthparents and/or families want to see you then it is great.  Just be prepared in case they don't.  The best thing is try to find an address or phone number and contact that way and find out if they want to see you.

Answer 12

i dont know my real father...i still think about him when it gets brought up or something that reminds me of not having a father. im 19 now. ive never met him. I would like to see him..but i think that it would just be best not to because he probably has his own family and children now. Although, sometimes i would want to just to see him and be like...hi this is me...hard to answer lol. But if it was both my parents i would think i would. Atleast giving a shot wouldnt harm. Calling them first would be the best approach i think. or having someone else call.

Answer 13

I probably would want to find them and meet them just to see who created me and would want to ask why they gave me up and that is it, I would not expect to start a relationship with them or anything.  It is one thing to be introduced to your mother or father when you are younger and a different story when you are older(I am assuming you are older).  My mother and father have been married for over 20 years and they have 3 kids myself who is 27 and my siblings who are 25 and 26 anyway a couple of years ago my father gets a phone call from a women that he dated when he was like 17 (my dad is 50 now) anyways she claimed that he got her got her pregnant and she now has a daughter who i think is in her 30's and that her daughter wanted to meet him, anyway my whole family met with her even though it was a surprise and we had some test run to make sure this lady was not lying and she was not she had gotten pregnant and by the time she found out her and my dad were over and i guess she never told my dad anyway my point is that once we all  met she was soooo different from us and she had her own life we had our own lives and she actually felt very uncomfortable and told my dad that she was not going to contact anyone after that and she did not, so basically just be prepared to meet them and thats it because if you are not young and are older it is hard to connect especially if your birth parents have a whole other family, I mean maybe if we would of talked more and stayed in touch it would of been different but in my opinion it is hard.  

good luck

Answer 14

Yep.

I'd do it.

I did it.

I'm adopted - and finally searched and found at age 37.

Wish I'd done it sooner.

Reunion isn't easy - by any means.

Read, read, read some more.

But I now know who I am - who my kin are - where I came from.

And that feels bloody good.

Best of luck.

xx

Answer 15

I would! I would want to find out who they are first and then decide if I want to meet them or not.  I'd be really curious.

Answer 16

I would absolutely make every effort to find out.

Even if I didn't develop a relationship with them, just having some questions answered (such as things about family or medical history) would be worth a one time meeting.

(I'm not adopted, but I'm generally a very curious person...can't imagine any scenario where I wouldn't want to meet my biological parents at least once if I were adopted.)

Answer 17

yes! of course I would. I did. Not same racial details, but I searched and found and its good.

Answer 18

Absolutely!  It is an excellent way to "close the gap" so to speak, or to answer any questions.

Just like everyone else was saying, just be prepared for the worst.  I met my biological parents last year (they had me when they were 17, I am now 19) with no intent to keep in contact with them.  First, I found my biological dad (oddly enough, in the phone book) who flew up to meet me.  After about the third or 4th visit he called my biological mother and I met her as well.  It was the most amazing experience ever, sitting in between both of the people who created me.  

With my mother, we rarely talk...her husband wants nothing to do with me.  As for my father, he is sooo grateful for having me back in his life and would do ANYTHING for me.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 19

I did and all I had was a last name and where I was born.  It has been nice meeting my bmom and my half sister and developing a relationship.  My bmom and I are alot a like and have become great friends.

Answer 20

hey there just you. everyone has a right to know where they come from. but just make sure that you understand that your birth parents might not want to be found, if this is the case you have to be prepared to not have any type of relationship with them... i hope everything works out for you

mandy

Answer 21

It depends on if you really want to. I know a couple of people who did and it was very gratifying and they are glad they did it. Both did it because they had an overwhelming desire to find out who they were. so if you really want to then do it. If you are not sure wait until you are sure.good luck with it.

Answer 22

I did.  It didnt work out as I thought it would.

I found my birthmother and it was like opening a whole big can of worms.  

I wonder sometimes how much of this person is in me, and will be in my offspring.  

I think it would be better not to know.  But that is just me.

Answer 23

I wouldn't want to. But curiosity will get the better of me, and I'll eventually will.

Answer 24

i dont know. probably not. i wouldnt see them as my parents..id see the people that raised me as my parents.

Answer 25

I would want to know everything I could about my birth parents. It would help me resolve a curiosity that I've had since I found out I was adopted. I was 5 years old at the time I found out. I was adopted at 6 months old.

You need to know all about your parents health conditions. That could save your life, or the lives of your children someday.