Would you love an adopted child as much as your own?

Question

I know I couldn't ~ and I won't be adopting, so don't worry.

But would/could you? I do admire people who can.

Answer 1

As I adopted two, I hope I gave them the same amount of love as my own three.

Answer 2

I would always love my child more, but I would grow to love my adopted child almost the same. I would treat them the same, but reallly theres always gonna be a 1% diference in love.

Answer 3

I think I could yes.

I have an adopted cousin, we love him as our own & nobody even thinks "oh he's the adopted outsider"

His mother, my great aunt, loves him dearly. He is her own in her mind. She only has him... no other children. He's been very lucky to have found such a wonderful mother.

Answer 4

No I wouldn't so I wouldn't adopt.

Answer 5

Having never been in that position it is hard to say but I can't imagine loving anyone other than my husband as much as my children, they mean everything to me.

I know of a couple who adopted two children because it was thought they could not have children, 5 years later they conceived naturally and they seem to love all 3 children equally. I don't suppose they would shout about it though if their feelings for their natural child were different to those for their adopted children.

Edit for Malek: The poster asked for people's opinions, we are all entitled to our own. Children are little people, all have their own traits and personalities. Some people I like some I don't, some I love but anything less than unconditional love for a child from its parents is just not good enough. I work with children and I like some more than others, just like I do adults but because it is my job, no-one would ever be able to tell which are the children I like most because all are treated the same. This would not be enough as a parent. I find it hard to believe that you are more or less saying you can't understand any adult who does not LOVE all children, I like all children but certainly do not love them all.

I don't think that makes me a bad person.

Answer 6

Yes, of course I would.  Even of my own children (they are grown), I love each differently because they are different people and need different kind of things from me, but I love them the same, unconditionally.

Answer 7

yes i defintly could love a adopted child as much as my own. adopt children dont deserve anything less.  

Answer 8

Yes i would. very much so. You once adopt a child you are responsible for him/her so you give the child all the love & care that you can.

Answer 9

I don't think i would have the same feelings for an adopted child as i would for a child that i had given birth to. I know  it sounds mean. I would love the child but not as much as my own :)  

Answer 10

Of course I admire people who do adopt and foster but I could never do it

I really don't know if I could love someone elses as much as my own

Probably doesn't help the fact that I'm not a huge kid fan

I'm not the sort of person that gets all broody at the sight of little babies

Answer 11

A good friend of mine was told she couldn't have a child for medical reason. She adopted a baby. Barely 6 months later she got pregnant and had a lovely baby. When asked which child is adopted, she always answers, "i've forgotten!".

To answer your Q, i think i could. Visit an orphanage & its hard not to feel a bond with those tiny babies just waiting to held.

Answer 12

Naturally you can if you cant have your own there is a huge difference.

I'm betting the Kidman clan are all excited now

Answer 13

I was adopted as my mum couldn't have kids. I was loved very much by them both. they told me at an early age and i have never had a hang up about it. They told me i was special because i was chosen by them,  and i know that if my mum had later managed to have her own she would have loved us both the same. but you had to know my mum to understand that. she was loved by everyone and was such a gently peaceful person. (not like me...lol)

they were strict but it was BECAUSE they loved me.

i have never had the inclination to look for my natural mum, and i only had one mum in my life and i would feel i was betraying her.

as for my dad...he doted on me!. i had such a happy loving childhood.

Dialupwast.......im afraid you cannot call people liars without knowing what it is like. my niece had a little girl before she met her now husband. her baby was four months old when they met. they now have two other kids, and he is closest to the one that is not his naturally. he adopted her after they married, and she is just a daddy's girl. he loves all his kids, but you can see the special bond these two have. he just adores her.

Mrs Grohl.........that is awful. i dont think that happens too much though, well i hope it doesn't. it just goes to show that all  people are not what they seem. i hope she is ok now as an adult.

Answer 14

i think you would grow to love the child especially if you have it from a very young age. not sure about a older child tho, its a hard thing to do and i really admire those who do.

Answer 15

Parents of adopted children love that child like their own of course.  For many childless couples it is about being a mother and father - especially if they are unable to conceive themselves.  I don't have children and won't have them either but, if I couldn't have them then I would adopt without question.  

That said, I do have a friend who is unable to have children but she would never adopt - it has to be her own child or nothing.  

Answer 16

I think this is an impossible question to answer because one would have to have both a natural child and an adopted child to know the answer.

Answer 17

I'm sure you could love an adopted child as much as your own, for example if your baby was switched at birth & you didn't know it wouldn't stop you loving it, i think when you adopt it's the mental barrier you have to overcome because you're acutely aware the childs not naturally your own.

Answer 18

i have friends who adopted but didn't have other children.  i bless those who can and do.  the bless they lives of many.

i never adopted because i feared that i couldn't love them equally and i didn't want to inflicts that on them if it proved true.

i did however play big sis and tutored at a local facility for problem children.  it turned out very sad and the one i was assigned could never overcome his problems and died on a train track in a drug induced state..

Answer 19

Yep! Children are all adorable, you put your love and time and effort into raising them as you would your own. I had PND with my second, and I sort of had to grow my love for him, which came easily after treatment, and I adore him just as much as my first. I think having done that I would be able to love an adopted child. I'd love to adopt and/or foster when I'm a bit older.

Answer 20

No, I couldn't, but I wouldn't adopt anyway.  My husband and I agreed that if we couldn't have children of our own then we wouldn't want to adopt.  I don't mean to sound horrible, but thats just my own personal opinion.

Answer 21

I think I probably could, but I have 2 children already and could probably have more of my own, so for my selfish needs I wouldn't need to adopt. If I found myself in a situation where a baby needed looking after then I would do it. It isn't likely to happen tho.  

Answer 22

NO. That is why I would never date a women who all-ready has kids because if at a later date I had children with her I would love my OWN child more than the other child.

ANY guy says otherwise is a horrible liar!!!

Answer 23

if you have the heart to adopt, then you have the heart to love.  i'm sure though that it's not all ways the case, but i know a few families with their own and adopted children, and they are treated and loved the same

Answer 24

I have 3 sons and adopted twin daughters and I can honestly say I love them all exactly the same.

Answer 25

no, i don't think anyone could to be honest, madonna's adopting of these kids is wrong, it screams look at me, aren't i charitable ? i don't agree with it, if these kids needed help so badly why isn't she helping them all by donating money instead of taking a few of them home ?

Answer 26

I would hope I would.  One of my best friends from school was adopted and her parents went on to have a child of their own.  She was always made to feel unwanted after that.  She was physically and mentally abused and ended up in care by the time she was 15.  Her adopted 'parents' were so called pillars of the community.  They even made her change schools away from her friends so that she wasnt there when their son started high school.  

Answer 27

TBH i don't know, i would like to think so, as i would love to adopt one day... just to give a child a chance in life, there are so many out there that have nothing, hopefully in the future it is something i could look into! ..when my daughter is older though, as we would have to be sure that she would be 'ok' with it too!!

Answer 28

Absolutely

If your going to make that commitment, than you have to.

Answer 29

Yes of course,an adopted child is a child that is chosen by the parents over all other children,

Answer 30

In all honesty, already having my own kids I'm not sure I could love one that wasn't my own the same way that I love them. If it was a case of not being able to have any of my own then I think it would probably be different. But it's hard to tell, when I was pregnant with my second child I did wonder if I would be able to love another baby as much as I loved my daughter, but I absolutely did from the moment he was born.

Answer 31

I don't understand or even want to understand people who would say no.  I'd have to say there's something wrong with someone who wouldn't love a child just because it doesn't carry their blood.  Blood had nothing to do with love.