Would you marry someone if you felt he loved another?

Question

Why would someone marry if they weren't confident that they were the one that their mate loves? What would cause a wife to ask her mate not to have contact with an ex from back as far as 20 years (who lives across the country and who's contact was very sparse anyhow ... talk on phone every 7 or 8 years)?

Answer 1

Why do you feel your ex is more important than your husband?  If this guy is so unimportant this should not be an issue.

Answer 2

I wouldn't.

Answer 3

yep jealousy

Answer 4

Go do it, marriage will build trust and commitment.

Answer 5

No if you are not sure you truely love this person why put yourself and them threw the misery.Because she's seeking attention from him that she's not getting from you.Ask yourself and her if you are truly in LOVE with each other or is it just a phase.Don't marry for the wrong reasons.

Answer 6

You are not the wife, you are the other woman, aren't you?

A wife has every right to ask her mate not to have contact with an ex from as far as 20 years (who lives far away).  If the mate loves the wife he will understand. If it bothers the mate to NOT talk to the old ex, maybe he should have married her?

Why put yourself in the line of fire?  Relationships are hard enough without talking to your ex!  The mate should have no problem letting go of this last string if he loves his wife.

If you are indeed the other woman, leave the guy alone and find new friends.  There are six billion people in the world.

Answer 7

Good question, no one in their right mind that is for sure!

Answer 8

I love your question, I am going to mark it interesting with a star because I think it is interesting and it hits home with me.

I was dating this guy and we were really in love and we were talking about marriage and into the relationship, he just started acting wierd, and he was getting more and more distant from me and would not tell me what was on his mind, like I wished he would.

I found out while we were dating, that he did love another and while we were dating he got "another" pregnant.

It hurt, it hurt really bad, and I loved him with all my heart and soul, and so I had to break up with him, why keep him with me while he had a son on the way, and another women attached to his heart.

I thought his family would hate me, after they heard from him that I broke up with him, because they really liked me, and I really liked them also.

But, after they found out why I broke up with him, they understood.

He messed it up, not me.

That is what I keep thinking and that is what keeps me going.

After that about six months later, I found another man, and we have a wonderful marriage, and a beautiful daughter!! He is my rock, my love and my life!!!!

I am much more happier now, than I ever was with "Randy".

Answer 9

You are right there is no marriage without trust that's why she should be able to trust he wont talk to you. It has nothing to do with the fact that she may think you guys would get together it has to do with who wants their spouse talking or being around a person they had a previous relationship with. I wonder if he would let her do this.

Answer 10

It's not that they love their ex, it's just jealously issues.  

Answer 11

no i wouldnt. shes insecure.

Answer 12

i wouldn't. that's just me.

Answer 13

Depends on what he has said to his wife about this long distance friend.  He could be making comments that make his wife feel insecure in their relationship?

I wouldn't marry again if I didn't really love that person and hope they don't love another.

Answer 14

Yeah, my partner wouldn't be contacting an old flame...and I don't believe that makes me a controlling b*tch. It makes me smarter than the average bear. And I'm quite confident that I am my partner's love.  

Answer 15

Jealousy is my guess.  I would say someone needs to trust their spouse to be.  Trust is high during the "honeymoon" period usually the first few years.  I can't imagine trust being this low to begin with.  It would cause me to pause.