Would you move your family to the other side of the counrty, to fulfill your dreans of going to uni?

Question

I have 2 kids, and i'm 28 years old.

for the last 4 years, i have wanted to go to uni, and better myself by getting a degree and a decent career instead of relying on the benefit system( i am on income support as i am a single mum).

i feel like its now or never for me, and would have to move somewhere where we know nobody, and the kids will have to change schools etc, if i want to go to uni.

I REALLY want to do this, as i know its best for me and my kids in the long run.

Am i being selfish in considering this?

Answer 1

I don't think you are being selfish; you are trying to build a better future for your family as well as yourself.

Kids are very adaptable and usually settle fine after a move, we moved house quite a bit when I was younger and all it has meant to me really is that I have friends from all over the place and a bit of a weird mongrel accent!

If it is what you really want I would say go for it, I think the kids would be fine and as you say in the long run all of you will be better off.  I also believe that happy parents make better environments for kids, so counting your own happiness isn't at all selfish, as if you are happy they are likely to have a happier environment too.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

Yes. My mom moved me from California to Texas when I was 10. We had a better house, more money, and I got into a great school.

You should do it!

Answer 3

No, not at all, my  mum is also bettering herself, so much I think she is going completely mad. But talk to your kids about it. Tell them it's what you want and could lead to a better life for all of you. They have to know it would be a dynamic change, because not only are you moving, your time would be more consumed in teh course you are doing. So they have to be able to understand what you are doing and why. Because when my mum started her course, the whole family thing kinda fell apart not greatly but we wern't close anymore because she was so into her course and it was all she talked about and you know. But she always told us in the long run, it would mean more support from her, when everything is ok and i hope it would be like that, because for me it would be too late, but it's important that you don't lose that relationship with your kids, because it's very vital.

Answer 4

YES

Answer 5

I personally wouldn't move my family because I like living close to other relatives and friends.  You can get your degree at many schools, not just the university you have in mind.  There are probably some good colleges in your community you can attend without having to move.  You can save tons of money by going the junior college route for your basic classes.  You can also take online classes as well.  Going to school and taking care of kids is going to be real hard so I wish you luck.   I applaud you because I couldn't have gone to college and had a family at the same time.

Answer 6

you dont say how old your kids are? i think you should do it, you are not selfish,so what if it is something YOU want to do. children are incredibly resilient. i moved as a single parent 2 and a half hours away, where i knew nobody. that was 2 years ago and its the best thing i ever did for me and the children. mine were 7 and 10 at the time, they settled in really well, they love their school, made loads of friends and our quality of life is much better. it took me longer to settle than them as i work from home or out on the road, i didnt have many oppurtunities to make friends. now though i have a couple of good friends here and my old friends visit all the time...it helps that we live near the beach!!

life changes....you will be teaching your children a really good life lesson, that if you want something and are prepared to work hard then your dreams are possible. i also think that children can benefit enormously from learning to cope with adjustment and making new friends....it isnt just negative, like losing friends its a great big positive that they can go anywhere and do anything and have the courage and confidence to make it work. i didnt want my children to grow up in the same dead end town, and turn out like the locals there who thought the world began and ended at the town border..i wanted to show them that the world is your oyster and i havent ever changed my mind or regretted that decision. you go for it and the best of luck.

Answer 7

In my humble opinion, NO!

Answer 8

Do it. You may never get the chance again and your kids will grow to appreciate this. Children are more resilient than we take them for.

Answer 9

Ultimately, if this will somehow bring in a larger income and provide more for your kids, then I say it's probably your best option. Just don't allow your DESIRE override what you KNOW is ultimately best...

Do you have family where you are who can support you somehow? People who love and have bonded with your kids???

It may NOT be their best interest because sometimes having a lot of stuff doesn't equate a good life. Just evaluate honestly and decide what TRULY is in their best interest-and again, it may NOT be having lots of stuff if there is LOTS of love/support where you are now. Not to mention, you can do online university at night-even if it's not THE school you WANT to go to...

Add: Your added info has a telling phrase at the very end-you WANT to do... sometimes you can't always do exactly what you want, especially if doing what you want means sacrificing what is stable and good in your kids' lives. And honestly, having lots of things can't replace the health that loving, stable people can bring...

Answer 10

i dont think that your being selfish  at all but i wouldnt move right now because economy is really bad and i wouldnt risk moving and losing my house maybe when things get better itll be a good idea

Answer 11

You are not being selfish. In fact, if you are thinking of the long-term effects of this decision, you may be acting very selfless instead.

It may be hard for both you and your children to adjust to the move, however it may not be a long-term move and your children can always return when they get older if they wish.

I congratulate you for moving ahead with your goals and aspirations.

Answer 12

Many local colleges offer at least BScs now, perhaps more research is in order, as for moving your family; if you can afford to do it, and the government isn't paying entirely for you bettering yourself then sure, go ahead, it's your life, though are there no closer universities?

If the government will be funding your bid for bettering yourself, then you'd better pass first time, especially given the situation

Answer 13

If its best for your family in the long run

Then your doing the right thing

=)