Would you plan to have a baby if you had these circumstances?

Question

I am 24yrs. old and am engaged to be married. We would like to marry after I graduate college. I am supported financially by my parents who pay for school, ect. My fiancee is able to take on the responsibility but my parents have always supported and so they have continued and would like to do so until I finish school. I plan to go on to get an MBA and then maybe even med school. My question is as follows....I want to start a family in the midst of all of this schooling. I figure I would be well in my 30's by the time I finish school. Of course, if I start a family within the next few years my fiancee will have to take on more responsibility financially. Even if I don't go on the med school, I will def. get my MBA. I am wondering if you were in my situation, would you plan to start a family with parents supporting financially and all? They would def be disappointed but this is something my fiancee and I want. He is also 10yrs. older than me so I don;t want to wait too long. I will def. have the support of him and my family so I am sure I will be able to pursue further schooling if I decide. I am just wondering if this is the right choice to make. We have a very strict family background and are quite conventional. I am worried about disappointing my parents as this is a very unconventional plan that I am conjuring. Please advise.

Answer 1

i would wait..

Answer 2

to be honest, i would make sure i could support myself before i thought about supporting a child. you shouldn't necessarily wait until you're completely done with school but you should wait until you know that you and your fiance can pay for yourselves and a child.  

Answer 3

Um...so what do you want to do with your life? Why do you want to do an MBA if you want to go to med school? Why are you even still in college at 24? If you want to be a mum you have to make some decisions and stick to them.

Pick a career. Any one. And go for it. When you're qualified, have a home that you pay for, and are earning, then start thinking about a family. Because right now? You're 24 years old and your parents still support you. You're not ready to start a family - you are still efectively a child yourself. You start a family AFTER you have learnt to support yourselves as adults.  

Answer 4

Think about what will be best for the baby.  Will you be able to devote enough time and attention to the baby while trying to complete a degree and start a career?  Think about the sleepless nights (at first) and added stress.  

When do you plan on getting married?  You need to adjust to the changes that marriage will bring before bringing a baby into the mix.

What if your parents disagree with your decision and decide to stop funding your education?  I think your best bet would be to wait until you and your future husband are standing on your own before taking on the responsibility of raising children.  

You know yourself better than anyone else, so just ask yourself the hard questions and make your decision with a clear mind.

Best of luck =)

Answer 5

OK I am 23 and I am not trying to offend you but I think more mature than you! First of all, your parents should not have to still support you let alone your family! If your potential husband and yourself can not support your family financially then no you are not ready! I am in college - only 3 months left before I finish my BA in BS- my husband is 27, we have 1 son and 1 on the way! We own our own house- no help from parents for school or house- they couldn't afford to help if we wanted them to! If you have to worry about your parents "cutting you off" than no your not ready!  

Answer 6

You obviously have intelligence.  You must realize that it would be very selfish to have your parents pay for your schooling once you've become a married parent.  As such it is then YOUR responsibility to take care of your child, not be taken care of.  I think then that you would have give up that right (morally).  You should continue on to get your MBA, then get married, then have a family if you like and continue your education while your husband supports you.  When you become a Doctor, your life will ease up and you will be able to feel comfortable that you've made the adult decision.  At some point we grow up and must become self reliant, you cannot have it in both worlds, well at least not without being selfish.  Give it a little bit of consideration.

Answer 7

No. Your parents shouldn't be supporting you financially the entire 9 yards. Don't have a baby if YOU and your FIANCE cant support YOU. HIM, AND A BABY. without any help from anyone else.

Answer 8

If you want kids you better have them now.  After med school comes the very hard work, you have more to give to them now then later.  You also have to think about your fertility, you may or may not have it in your 30s (same with your fiancee in his 40s) - and when you graduate you need to be free to work on your career.

Answer 9

I would. I mean if this is something you and your husband to be both want.   I'd deffintaly go for it!  

Answer 10

I worked and went to school part time for 12 years, then I was in an

apprentiship where I couldn't try to concieve just yet. I had to wait 4 1/2

years to get through that. I was married at a later time when I was 29.

by the time I could try it took three years and now I'm 37 and having a

baby. School is very important and so is a family if that is what you really want. doing both at the same time will be very difficult. that baby

needs all of your attention. but if you plan on continuing with school, I would get your batchlers and then try to have a baby. You won't be to

old by then and you can decide if you want to go back to school after

the baby comes. If you can't get prego at first then go back to school

again until you become prego. But what ever you do, you have great

plans for school, don't rush into a family until your career is set. But

once you are 30, that is an awsome age to have a baby. you have had

time to play, plan and do all of the things you want. when the baby

comes your life will change forever. get your education and give the baby the best that you can since you do have that choice.

Answer 11

Either I would wait until I was finished with at least my MBA (trust me, it is ten times harder to finish school once you have a baby, even with help from your family- I know from experience) OR I would make it clear that you and your fiance are supporting yourselves and the baby and all your parents are paying for is your schooling.

Honestly, I know that it seems to you like your 30's are far away and you will be old to have your first child, but I had my first at 22 and now, ten years older, I am having my second. Having a baby at 30, 32, 34 or whatever is not a bad idea. You will be finished with school, better off financially and maybe even able to take a little time off to spend with your baby if you want. That sounds like a lot less pressure to me. As for your fiance's age, unless that is something that bothers him, I wouldn't worry about it. Having all that time with just you and your husband will bo good for you two to develop the deep bond necessary to stay together long after having a child.  

Answer 12

if you and your fiance and afford to support your own family, you should have one.  YOU'RE going to be someones parent if you have kids, therefore your parents shouldn't be supporting you.  It's not like you're some teen girl who "got herself in trouble"

but anyway, i don't really see the rush.  but since you do, you and your fiance should sit down and figure out how you'll make a baby work in the midst of all of this.  

the last thing you'll want as a married couple is someone else supporting you.  not good for a marriage.

so basically, if i were in your situation i wouldn't do it, but then again, my mom viewed my marriage as passing on the buck, so to speak, so wouldn't support me financially if i were in that situation.  she would ask why my husband couldn't support him and think badly of him, (and the feminist part of her would ask why i couldn't support myself).  so either way i'd get it.