Would you please read and critique my Villanelle in Quatra?

Question

*****

SOME AARON COPLAND, PLEASE

Oh what a great feast it will be,

I serve the traditional way,

Exactly at quarter to three,

Pate’ with a spread of green peas,

Some hot soup, or maybe sorbet,

Oh what a great feast it will be,

Then I’ll make fish, not too fishy,

A leek and red onion entrée,

Exactly at quarter to three,

Next comes beef from Kansas City,

Brisket smoking since yesterday,

Oh what a great feast it will be,

The baker bringing something sweet,

Cut flowers for center bouquet,

Exactly at a quarter to three,

Ready to blanch, fry, broil and heat,

Stir, add, blend, melt, mix and puree,

Oh what a great feast it will be,

Exactly at a quarter to three,

*****

Answer 1

This classical form, made contemporary by its subject matter, illustrates how a poet can renew and revitalize ancient poetic forms. It flows easily and makes invisible the work behind the final product. This is what good poetry should do. As I have said many times before, it is a shame that the sonnet is probably the only master form taught in schools any more.  

Answer 2

Wow, TD, this is a cool Villanelle with a fun and creative theme.

Answer 3

If I were a fly I would say :

"Get on with it!” (s)he shouts, “We’re Hungry!”

(to quote a famous local identity)

A literal feast for the eyes (there's that d**n I spy fly again) very musical as well.

PS You want flies with that?

Answer 4

I am ready with appetite in tack at exactly at a quarter of three!

Very nice you never disappoint!

You have the music what about the wine, oh yes a nice Chardonnay will do!

Cheers

Answer 5

This is a really lovely poem and i liked it a lot'but it sure has my mouth watering now.lol. Any meat or barbecue from Kansas city is the best ever.i know ...

Answer 6

Technically, fine, but fails to do it for me.

Answer 7

The imagery in this write is excellent.

Chef TD,

Qui, Qui,

I love fish not to fishy,

Yummy.