Would you please share some insight with me? ?

Question

Don’t know what’s come over me..

I want a glass of sassafras tea..

When I was a child we moved to the south,

The things I that looked tasty I’d put in my mouth

There is a tree down the road away

Where I while away the summer, in play

‘T is a mulberry bush, I climb up in

The berries black and juicy and ripe

Are a delicate treat to my palate.

Fresh watercress grows wild down in the creek

That leads to pond and good swimming

A snake swims up to me and I shriek!

..Let us go further down the creek

A nice little pool has formed in the water

I fit in it nicely the water feels good

Once I cool off some we’ll walk in the woods

The woods are delightful

The sun creates lattice of light

Through the branches so wide

Walk as fast as you want

I’ll keep up with your stride

It is getting quite late, before we head home

Let’s dig up some roots of this tree

Pack it back with us and when we get home

Let’s brew up a pot of sassafras tea

You can share it with me.

I will pour the hot liquid o’er ice

Sweeten it up some

This feels nice.

Thank you for spending some time with me

Time to be young and foolish and free

I hope you enjoyed the tea.

Answer 1

Thank You for the trip You transported me to those Woods Digging the roots up for that special Tea

(My Labor Day trip)..Acting the fool..            .And being free to do so ..Thank you Again for the journey  

Answer 2

It's in the journey that we share

that gives reason for us to care,

to cross the paths, take a dare

to walk right into natures lair.

nice touch, might I have a lemonade and a croissant, while I digest the lovely poetic landscape you painted.

Answer 3

It is a wonderful description into poetical words - an exhibition of pictures like, on walls.

The taste is bitter, simply I cannot share your insight, though I use to be empathetical, or maybe this is the reason. Cause I do prefer some optimistic hopeful poetical messages and not nostalgically dead ones.

Probably cause there are too much words describing those pictures ...

Let's have JUST one of all:

"The berries black and juicy and ripe

Are a delicate treat to my palate"

isn't it better SIMPLY like:

"Berries black and juicy and ripe

A delicate treat to my palate" ???

Don't even say about:

"The woods are delightful" !

There may be technicques in the Poem, but sorry I don't feel it like.

You could make into the end of the poem a better connection with the present - or isn't it right that I see it dead, without (much) hope?

What good for a memory especially into a poem without "Life" - dead nature - there is no taste of life for me in it - or am I tasteless?

Sorry, really sorry,

but this is for me to see in it, no

Life

Answer 4

But, ma'am, may I have a refill, please?

Lovely journey.

ma

Answer 5

Good to the last drop. Sweet as the honey within!!!

Answer 6

taste buds roll back the dial of time

childhood prime,

snacky gummy worms of lime

black liquorice, 4 for a dime

Honeysuckle sips in summer

Labor Day is here .....

what a bummer!

Answer 7

I love to take trips and your poem definitely took me on a journey! Great use of words and great flow! Keep writing, your very good!