Would you rather pay for/help out paying for your own engagement ring

Question

or would you say to pass on it & just wear a wedding ring? would you both pay for the wedding ring?

Answer 1

You would both pay for the wedding ring. After all, it's not like it makes a difference once you get married. (I've already started running any major purchases past my fiance, because any money I spend now I won't have when we get married).

The engagement ring is supposed to be a gift from him to you. You can buy yourself one if you want, but clear it with him first. It's not like an engagement ring is necessary, so there's no real rules.

Answer 2

I would absolutely be okay with helping pay for my own engagement ring.

However, I'd also want to have a clear picture of my fiancee's financial situation before getting married and merging our finances. If he is having trouble affording a ring, I'd want to know about any debts or poor credit before marriage. It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but the financial discussion is a very important one - many divorces occur because of money problems and poor communication.

Answer 3

In this world of equality, there is nothing wrong with helping pay for your engagement ring, it is a major purchase as a couple.  However if you will feel uncomfortable doing so, just help him pay his rent and/or car payment, utilities for a month or two instead.  Then you can honestly say you did not pay for your engagement ring, lol !  

Congratulations

Answer 4

I would not pay for my own engagement ring. I would feel very sad that he couldn't/wouldn't get me a ring, even if it was something simple. Sorry, but that is important to me. Everything else is shared, can't he just come up with $250 on his own?

Answer 5

if he can't afford to get you a simple ring, maybe you should not be marrying him. why start out your life with no foundation or security?  

Answer 6

There is no way I would of paid for my engagement ring.  It was a very pleasant surprise when he popped the big question and placed the ring on my finger.  If he wants to marry you and he can not afford a ring, it would be OK to go with simple bands that you can exchange at the ceremony.  Best Wishes xox  

Answer 7

An engagement ring should never be bought jointly. If there is a split-up and the marriage doesn't happen, the engagement ring reverts back to the possession of the owner. and if jointly bought, that can create a big dispute over ownership or responsibility for payment if bought on credit.  If it's a matter of the fiance not being able to afford a ring at this time, and a wedding is planned, then have the groom at least buy the set of wedding bands. You can get an engagement ringer later when it's more affordable.

Answer 8

as a new bride, no.

as an older woman, i would definitely check out his financial situation and run both of our credit reports together. no financial surprises!

that said, at 45 years old,  i would consider helping to pay for a larger or better stone. or using some of my trade-ins. or simply re-setting some of the stones i already have. (none of them were wedding rings) in a fresh setting, at his expense.

i would also be happy with plain wedding bands and money to start our new joint account.

Answer 9

I actually could care less about the engagement ring I say skip it! spend more on just the wedding ring!

Answer 10

Judging from the way you worded your question, it sounds as if money is tight. If that is the case, go for what you can afford. You can always get something bigger, an anniversary ring, down the road.

Remember, it's not the magnitude of the ring that is important, it is the magnitude of the marriage!

Answer 11

I waited twenty five years for the diamonds, we decided to buy a house instead of a ring.  I was married in a  wide gold ring with two small diamonds.  He paid for it.

I wasn't sorry.

My first home increased in value over a hundred percent, and we sold it and bought our dream home six years later.

A diamond wouldn't have given us quite as much pleasure as our home did.

If all you want to do is get a bigger ring to impress your friends and family with than he can afford, you are starting off on the wrong foot.

If you aren't happy with what he can give you then you will be looking down on him from the start.

He should pay for the wedding ring too.

Answer 12

You sound like me...I helped pay for mine and what I did was went with a 2-ring set. That way I could wear my engagement ring now and then have the nice band that goes with it for the wedding. To be honest we got our rings at Walmart. (s***w everyone else...it's just abuot you and him and if you are happy then who cares where the ring came from. Mine is real gold, real diamonds, and I got it for like $248, his gold band was only $49. See we are paying for our own wedding, so money was very tight for us, plus we've already lived together 4 years and have an almost 2 year old son. My finance's grandmother highly recommended "keepsakes" brand of rings (her's has been going strong for almost 50 years and she's never had a prong replaced or anything!) Well, now-a-days they only sell them at Walmart (according to her) but they are quality.Good luck and congratulations!! :) Hope this helped!

Answer 13

I'll tell you what, I'd rather wear cubic zirconias and marry the love of my life, than have diamonds and be in debt. The number 1 cause of divorce are financial reasons! But, all in all, yes I'd help him pay for anything, even if it is my engagement ring. Remember, you will both become 1, so you start a little early! =)  

Answer 14

My husband and I were living together and paid a lot of the bills together before we were married, so we both paid for our rings. Worked out better for me because I got to pick my rings out.

Answer 15

Our finances are OUR finances.  We have a joint account so obviously, in a round about way, i helped pay for my engagement ring.  I have no issue with this as we pay for everything together!!

But, having said that, I did not need an engagement ring and would have had no problem not wearing one.

Answer 16

Engagement ring is just a symbol.  The size of the ring does not reflect on his/your commitment to each other.  Since it is just a symbol, lack of it also does not affect the underlying commitment.

What does it tell you that people who wear a million dollar ring have marriage fall apart shortly and there are couples who tell their kids years later how poor they were when they got engaged that Walmart ring was all they could afford...

If the money is tight, get a really cheap one (if you really want one) or none at all....  Don't lose your prospective...  you are getting engaged, you are not getting a ring...

By the way, I am guessing your fiance/boyfriend is having a tough time right now for not being able to buy a sizable ring for his fiancee/girlfriend.  Please be supportive/understanding of him.  He may be perceiving this as crisis or being inadequate.  He could use your kind words if that is the case.