Would you read the book if the back of the book said this?

Question

It started with a stolen ring, something that truly meant nothing. But turns into something that could easily cost sixteen year old Abby Johnson her life.

Feelings were revealed. Hearts were shattered. Past were unraveled Friends were Betrayed. Futures were morphed.

And someone must die.

It's not very long, but would you? It's the first one I've writen, so tell me what you think. Thanks

Answer 1

that's really good. i actually thought i was from a real book before i read the last sentence. Very good job. and YES i would definitely read that story.

Answer 2

i, personally, would absolutely not read it.   what sort of past is gonna get unraveled for a 16 year old ho?  and who says futures were morphed?  maybe they were like that already.  

Answer 3

It does sound mysterious and appealing. I think it would work.

Anna del C.

Author of "The Elf and the Princess"

and "Trouble in the Elf City"  

Answer 4

That sounds really interesting, and i like the morphing part(nice touch).

you would actually email the first chapter to people. Could you email it to me?!? It sounds like it's and awesome book! Good luck with your future of writing(as it sounds like you have a gud future ahead of you in the writing business.)

Thanks in advance in you do email it to me, and it really is awesome!

Answer 5

I wouldn't read a book based off of that tidbit; heck, I usually don't even read books based on the blurb on the back of the book.  The first few pages are what makes me decide whether or not to give it a chance.

Answer 6

Yes I actually thought it was by and actual author before i read it was the first 1 i've written

Answer 7

I though it was a real book too! Haha, but yes I would definitely read it. It sounds very interesting, and fast moving so it would keep me interested! :]

Answer 8

It sounds interesting.

Answer 9

It definitely depends. I'm not sure. I MIGHT read it. If it's a fantasy, though, I most likely will not. I would have to read the first few pages to see if I'm interested or not.

Answer 10

Good, but i think that you should replace the "futures were morphed" line.  "morphed" just sounds a bit too weird.  as an avid sci-fi and fantasy reader, I am pretty used to weird back of the book descriptions, and i can never help wondering if they turn people off from the book.  Trust me though, your description is better than many.  as a secondary suggestion, the back sounds a bit too over-dramatic, almost like a parody.  but i am only one person, and i think just changing "morphed" to a similar word will help a lot.  in any case, this is a great first attempt at something like this, just listen to what everyone has to say, because there will be many different opinions.  

Answer 11

yes i would.

Answer 12

Nope. Normal and boring. It's the truth. Try again.  

Answer 13

Yes! It sounds very interesting!  

Answer 14

"Feelings were revealed. Hearts were shattered".. screams: TEEN ANGST.  The first part if good, but the rest should be worked on. IMO, it could be better.

Instead of Pasts were unraveled, how about: Hidden pasts were revealed?  or something like that.

Futures morphed- maybe it could be more like Futures are uncertain.

"Secrets revealed" is better than "Feelings were revealed" even though it is still kind of a cliche line. Or "obsessions were revealed"?

Hearts were shattered- no please, no.  At least make it Trust was shattered, which is only slightly better.

But the first part, which is actually the part that tells a bit about the story, is good. =)

Answer 15

It's not bad, but you should do some quick research on how to best write an 'abstract' as it's sometimes called for nonfiction. I don't know them myself, but there's actually a pretty widely accepted list of dos and donts for these.

Answer 16

yeah, send me a chapter or 2 and ill give more critique