Would you stay in a relationship without KISSING?

Question

I just answered another question from another member about cheating, and I mentioned that my best friend, who has been married 19 years, has a husband that she LOVES, they have a GREAT s*x life, but he is not affectionate and NEVER kisses her...not even during s*x! So when we've been out at bars or parties, I don't mind that she kisses guys because I know that she just needs that--and I KNOW she would never cheat on him.

What would you do? Would you kiss others in a situation like this?

Answer 1

NO WAY!

Answer 2

it's really up to her but she's obviously not satisfied with the 'no kissing' arrangement if she feels she has to kiss other guys. If it were me I'd rather communicate to my husband of my dissatisfaction and work through it rather than kiss other guys. There's a line from a movie that I love it goes 'I'd rather fight with you, than make love to anyone else.' That's REAL love and it doesn't sound like she feels that. If she doesn't then she needs to talk to the person she married and committed her life to and either work it out or divorce. There is absolutely NO justification for cheating, and if he either doesn't know she's kissing other guys or doesn't like that she's kissing other guys it IS cheating.

EDIT: I'm sorry but if she TRULY loved him she wouldn't be kissing other guys! Most people fantasize about having s*x with other people too when they are in committed marriages/relationships and many people do cheat, but there are people (the ones that TRULY love each other) DON'T no matter how many urges they get. If she TRULY loved him she'd just deal with it and honor their vows.

Answer 3

I would say that is sad, but your friend has chosen to stay with her hubby.  as for kissing it's way important in a relationship it doesn't have to be often but its a must. its a way to show the person you are with how much you love them (it comes with loads of intense feelings).  If I was single and stuff I wouldn't mind no kissing -in the beggining- but after a certain period I would love for him to show me some love!  if he wont kiss me then I very much doubt he actually loves me, so no need for that...

Answer 4

so is  staying in a loveless marriage for 18 months is bad enough ,

Answer 5

She needs to fix her relationship with her husband instead of finding affection from someone else.  What a horrible wife.  I hope her husband isn't a violent man when he finds out...

There could be good reasons why her husband is not a kisser.  There is never a good reason to kiss someone else when you are married.  As far as I'm concerned she might as well be cheating on him.

I wouldn't have married a woman that wouldn't kiss me.  Surely she knew this when she married the guy.  She has bigger issues than her husband not kissing her.

Answer 6

Definitely not!! she needs to get him some therapy, there is something wrong with this man and she needs to get that taken care of.  She's not dealing with this in the correct way.  And I just really don't get the thing with these modern relationships, what do you mean you go out to bars and parties? what happened to the married woman going out with her husband?? I'm too old fashioned.  I got married to a man I love and I only dance or kiss him, and only him.

Answer 7

My husband doesn't like to kiss, this is just a part of who he is; I knew it before we were married, and it's not causing me any major grief. If I felt I must kiss other people, I would get his permission to do so.

Answer 8

Hmm.  Here's the thing, kissing IS cheating my opinion.

Cheating:  Doing something that involves a member of the opposite s*x that you wouldn't do if your spouse knew about it or was in the room.  Would your friend be kissing other men if her husband were there?  I highly doubt that.  

She's married and she needs to honor her vows.   If she's unhappy with something in her relationship she should be addressing it with her husband, not going out to bars and kissing others.  And what is a married woman doing going out to bars without her husband?  That just spells disaster!

Good luck..

Answer 9

I'd probably leave them.  Because just having a good s*x life is just satisfying for pleasure.  Kisses are signs of affection.  And you can't have love if there's no affection.

I'd be very sad and feel unloved if my boyfriend/husband never kissed me.  And like I said, I would leave them.

Answer 10

Honestly I would find out what the problem is.....no kissing? this is very odd.

Answer 11

i would becuz i believe that you should always kiss ur love 1 even if its just 2 greet them!! i love 2 kiss!!

Answer 12

I think your friend should have told her husband that she likes to be kissed sometime and maybe he would have done it during their nineteen year marriage.  I had a girl tell me that kissing was nasty and that she didn't kiss; she had three kids, yet she told me that she didn't have to KISS to get them.  I was okay with it since she was s**y, and I was trying to get me some strange stuff in revenge to my girlfriend confessing that she had had s*x with a close friend who I already suspected she had had s*x with.  Being kissed is not important in short term relationships, but it is in long term, I feel.  

Answer 13

She kisses other guys because her husband doesn't kiss her?  And you both think it's ok?  NOT.

Cheating is cheating.  If she LOVES her husband and they have a GREAT s*x life, then she has to accept that her GREAT s*x life does not include kissing.  

Cheating is cheating, hon, no matter how you try to spin it.  I wonder if her husband would be supportive of her kissing other men?

If it's something she "needs", then she has a responsibility to work with her husband to have her needs met.  Kissing men in bars is a poor excuse for being too lazy to work out an issue with your spouse.  

Answer 14

No way..don't think so.

Answer 15

it would depend on Why he doesnt kiss her if she should sta in it or not. as for kissing other guys that is still cheating! so no i would not kiss others, and what i would do depends on why hes not kissing

Answer 16

No, I don't think that's an acceptable reason to go around kissing other guys.  

Answer 17

wow thats a good one Hmmmm would I ruin a good realtionship if my man would find out i kiss random men?????  *uk yeah I would!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Forget him why dont he wanna kiss her???

Answer 18

Sounds like my wife, she's not much of a "kisser", especially during s*x.

I disagree with your friend kissing others when she's out because "...she just needs that..".  It seems like a convenient way to justify actions she wouldn't display in front of her husband.

Marriage is a compromise, for better or for worse.

Sounds like she might not be mature enough to live up to her marriage vows, which I personally believe she's breaking.

Answer 19

Absolutely not.  She shouldn't be kissing other guys while out at parties.  If she isn't getting enough affection at home, maybe she should talk to him about it.

Answer 20

yes.

Answer 21

Eww, no. Tel your friend from me that shes a slapper.

Answer 22

Probably not. I can't get revved up enough without kissing.

Answer 23

Making out with someone other than your spouse... is cheating. It may not be s*x, but she is doing something with another man that she should be doing with her husband. I understand that he may not be all that into kissing, BUT... would he go out with her and approve of what she is doing?!

Twenty bucks... and I bet not! I bet he would be furious! What she needs to do is open the lines of communication instead of assuming that this is how things are. Has she spoken up that she wants to be kissed? Wants to make out? I'll tell you... probably not! Her husband isn't a mind reader... so how can he know what she wants if she wont state it?!