Would you support an aparent canceling an adoption because the baby was the "wrong s*x?"?

Question

often, perspective adoptive parents post stating that they have a gender preference for the child they want. and, they are interested in a pre-birth match.

although ultrasound is "pretty accurate", there is still a margin of error with s*x determination.

so...

if someone thought that the baby they were planning to adopt was female, yet at birth the wee babe had boy parts, or vice-versa, would you support someone canceling a plan?

Answer 1

Hi Tish,

I would never support them.  These kind of pap's should be weeded out in the adoption process.

If mother nature doesn't let natural parents get to choose the s*x of the child then pap's shouldn't get to either.

Answer 2

People who are that hung up over the gender of a child (adopted or birth) shouldn't be parents at all.  I don't support abortion for s*x selection and I don't think a family is right to be cancelling the adoption plan because the child ended up with the other set of plumbing.  

That said, if a pap is so fixated on the s*x of the child that they couldn't accept a child of the opposite gender of their preference, I certainly couldn't support a child going into that home.  So in a way, I do support cancelling the adoption plan for those parents... along with any other adoption plan for them.

Answer 3

YES, and I wouldn't let them try again, that's it!

I wouldn't want someone caring for a chld that they may resent.

No doubt there is a BETTER home for that child where they are desired.

There are people who will have an aortion, if the child is the "wrong' s*x.

Answer 4

I don't support gender preference for the first child but do for subsequent children for "family balancing" for example if they had already adopted two boys and wated a girl to complete the family.  

The ultrasound is usually accurate but the adoptive parent should accept the possiblilty that an error could occur and continue with the adoption even if the "wrong" gender comes out.  They would be messing the kid and the birth mother about otherwise and it would raise questions of how much they want the child in the first place.

Answer 5

I would support them cancelling a plan because it's obvious they think that children should be made-to-order.  They shouldn't be allowed to be parents at all.

Keep babies with their real parents, please!

Answer 6

As a birth mother ,When looking at profiles of a-parents thats the first thing I would look at. If they were specific about the s*x I would pass through them. Its not important what the s*x of the baby is its that they are healthy and happy and loved. I don't feel that people should be able to choose. A baby to love is all you should be able to ask for!!

Answer 7

Yes, If they are that shallow, they do not deserve to be parents.  Let the child go to a home where they are accepted no matter what.

Answer 8

No thats SEXIST

I personally am not in favor of that because its sad in a way rejecting a child for its gender.

But it depends as to what the preference is.

I know this may sound crazy but some families are in favor of boys then girls. Some families think that because they need a male heir to their family, which is awful. Others dont care.

Answer 9

Yes, absolutely.  I'd also support no one ever allowing those people to make another adoption plan in the future.  If they've got any kind of idea in their heads about the "perfect child", even if gender is the only qualification, they should get a dog instead.

Answer 10

Yes, I think it would be better for the child to be with someone who Actually wanted them, I'm with the person who said the A parents shouldn't be able to be parents. s*x of a child shouldn't be a deciding factor!

Answer 11

I don't support pre-birth matching.  I think adoptive parents who select gender and do pre-birth matching, and then cancel the adoption when very specific criteria haven't been met have way wacked expectations and shouldn't adopt.  In that case, I guess I'd be happy the baby wouldn't have to go to parents like that and that the adoption would be cancelled!

Answer 12

The baby could only be the "wrong" s*x if (s)he was an alien!

Answer 13

I wouldn't like it but the reality is when adopting you have the choice..So if they want a boy & it's a girl..It's their lost..Ppl want what they want....It sucks @ time but it's life..

Answer 14

Of course not. It would be no different if a gender error was made to a couple who was hoping for one gender but ended up with the other. If PAP seriously want a certain gender they should adopt a baby/child that is already here and not get matched with an expecting mother. That said I think the majority of PAP who adopt infants just want a healthy baby regardless of the child’s gender.  The same is true for people who have a natural child. Even if they would prefer one, when it comes down to it if your child is healthy that is truly a blessing.  

Not to mention  if your child turns out to be transgender.

Answer 15

No, I would not support it, but at the same time I would not want these people to parent... if they are thid hung up over gender, then what what else will they fall apart over?

Answer 16

No.

Answer 17

yes I would because that person would not treat the baby right. That person would be crazy not to want any baby girl or boy so best the adopting parent to speak up now ! Like the person said before if you want a certain s*x then you should adopt the children that have already been born. I really don't think this parent should be a parent.

Answer 18

I wouldn't cancel an adoption because the s*x of the baby was wrong. You don't get to choose what s*x your child is if you get pregnant naturally.

As far as MomMom, I hate to tell you what I can't stand your type of people who think that adoption isn't the way to go and keep all babies with their bio parents, Come on now some babies deserve a better life than what their own parents can give them. If you truly believe that babies should stay with their Bio Parent's then you need to stay off the Adoption Answer.

Why am I getting thumbs down? I am being honest you shouldn't change your mind about the baby you want to adopt because the ultra sound shows a different s*x.

Plus it's true if you are going to come on here and tell Adoptive Parent's that kids should stay with their Bio Parent's is wrong we don't come into your home and look at your situations and say your a bad parent do we no, We don't come into your home and say that your a bad parent and your kids should be adopted out.  So don't come on here and make statements about keeping baby's or older children with their natural parents.

Answer 19

No I think it is disgusting that people do that. I think if that was the case, they should lose there right to adopt!! There are plenty of men, women and couples, who would want to adopt a baby, regaurdless of the s*x of the baby.

Answer 20

Honestly, I think they should be able and cancel it. And they should also be removed from the list to adopt in the future. I don't know that I'd be comfortable with parents parenting that child with that knowledge, and there are many people who wouldn't care what gender the child was and could give him/her an excellent loving home.

Answer 21

No, I would not support that. What should do a mother who wants to have a boy and give birth to a baby girl. Should she "cancel" everything and give up of her new baby, just because it is "wrong s*x"?

Answer 22

Yes I would support it. These people don't need to be the child's parents. But look it's not just the s*x of a child alot of couples won't adopt a black or any other race child and not with disablitys . I know for sure if my grandson had been born without all 10 fingers and toes or black or any other than a white blond hair blue eyed child. This was on there adoption paper works. I think that if a couple don't get just what they wanted they might just take it out on the child or be closer to the child they wanted if they get another child down the road. This also happens to natural parents to

Answer 23

Absolutely not.

A biological child cannot be quaranteed to be a specific gender so I don't see as OK for aparents to "special order".

That's just not right and would be defined as entitlement.

Answer 24

No, I wouldn't support that. I would let the parents know that if they didn't want my baby then that was fine. Then I would spread nasty rumours about them,hehe. In real life you can't choose the s*x of your baby or give it away if it is the wrong s*x. As much as I would love a daughter I love my sons just as much (more because I don't have a daughter).

Answer 25

No, absolutely not.  In a way, I treated my son's adoption as if it were my pregnancy, and had vowed that no matter what, we'd love him, and take care of him.  Not only was he a boy, (we thought he was a girl), he was also born meth addicted, which I'd tried to prevent as much as possible.  I cannot imagine my life without this beautiful, loving, wonderful, adorable, active, (and the list goes on!), baby!  Yes, I'm thankful he's healthy now, but the opportunity to love him has been the biggest blessing in my life, and I would have done so, even if he'd been born green and three legged!

Answer 26

Absolutely not and it should get them banned from adopting.

I'm sure many mothers would say that these desperate beggars shouldn't be choosy.  

Well that's what many Ap's have said to mothers when they ask for help so they can raise their own children.

Answer 27

the idea of this is disgusting to me. Parenting is parenting. Love is love. A child is a child.

I would certainly not support a desision such as this.

Answer 28

... what?

Answer 29

thats just WRONG

Answer 30

That isn't right! Having a child is a miracle and adoption is a miracle, a child needs a loving home, and if parents have a gender preference that means there home is not the right home for a child and they need to seriously rethink becoming parents!!!! It is and has been my dream to adopt a child since I was 12, and I would never turn any child away!!!!!!