Would you talk to people the same way in person?

Question

Say someone asked you a question on the street, or even if Y!A was a service on phones rather than on the internet. Would you talk to people the same way? Would you still tell them if they were plain and simple a BYB and an idiotic, irresponsible person? Would you scream at them to go to the vet with their dog that's been having seizures, or would you calmly tell them to do it? Do you think talking to people over the internet sort of dulls things down - you can't just type "You need to take your dog to the vet right away." anymore. You have to type "GET YOUR DOG TO THE VET!!" or you know your answer will just be skimmed over.

I'm curious to get people's opinion on these two things...do you think you would talk to people the same way about their dogs, questions, or problems if it were in person rather than over the internet? And do you think the internet sort of 'dulls' things down? I ask this in the dog section because I spend the majority of my Y!A time here and I know many of the types of questions asked, and I see a lot of 'yelling' in answers ;)

Personally, I do think the internet lacks the intensity of a lot of things. Being called stupid on the internet isn't nearly as bad as being called stupid in person. The anonymity helps a lot too - you don't know the person, and odds are you'll never talk to them again. On the other hand, if someone asked me a question in person, I would definitely try to calmly explain why breeding their teacup mini yorkichippawannapoo is a bad idea rather than how I may react if I was in a bad mood and came across the question on the internet.

What about you?

Answer 1

It depends really. I mean of course, being the internet, I can say whatever I want and I don't have to feel the reprocussions of lets say... running my mouth and getting the c**p beat out of me.

But if someone came across as idiotic as some do on here.. I would have no problem talking to them the same way. I am a fairly blunt person, both on here and in reality. I say what I think, most of the time I talk without thinking. (bad quality).

If someone came off as just ignorant and truly wanted to learn the facts, I would have no problem having a nice casual conversation.  

Answer 2

If an animal's health was in danger, I most certainly WOULD raise my voice and let the fact that I'm apalled at their ignorance show.

As for BYBing, I would show my disgust and distate without insults.

I also try not to be insulting on Y!A.  Key word:  Try.

Answer 3

Actually, I'm far LESS likely to be quite as blunt on here than in person because I get to see the words in print before they go out in public.

I will admit, one of my greatest strengths/faults is my tendency to tell it like it is.  My friends all know that there is no ill-intent behind it.

Answer 4

Yes, you're completely right.  People can be very cruel on there, because of the anonymity.  I don't know why they waste their time answering questions if they're not even going to be helpful at all!  

It's just like emails too -- it's difficult to have real conversations because you can misinterpret the meaning of the message and get yourself into all sorts of trouble!

Answer 5

I'm the same person in person as I am here.

I'm polite most of the time and I really try to answer questions (from adopters, potential adopters and my friends with dogs). However, I can also be a little testy and pointed at times too.

I call it integrity.  

Answer 6

I like to think of myself as a face value kind of gal... and I'll never say anything behind someones back (or hide behind the anonymity of the internet) that I wouldn't be willing to say directly to a person's face.  I can be opinionated (and we can all be in a bad mood), but even if there is a question posted that makes me want to scream, I try to be at least somewhat respectful and patient with my reply.  

Answers on Yahoo should be informative, knowledgeable, and helpful.  If someone is asking a specific question, the answer should give them some kind of insight that they may not find on their own.  I see so many answers that are yes or no - with no explanation why.  Education is the key to helping people become better owners, and better owners have healthier animals and know how to care for them responsibly.

Patience is hard to exercise sometimes, particularly when the question reflects a complete lack of disregard for what many of us consider basic care.  And I have told people (to their faces) not to breed their dogs (or goats, or rabbits) because the animal wasn't worth breeding.  I would then go on to explain why, but I'm not going to sugarcoat my explanation, either.

And yes, the "take it to the vet" responses drive me nuts when it's often something that may not even come close to justifying a vet call.  I'm sorry, I couldn't justify a visit from my farm vet if I had a chicken who was acting under the weather, yet I see that as a standard response for "why is my chick..?." questions in the birds section all the time.  Most farm vets won't treat adult poultry, much less chicks - and I don't know of anyone who takes a chicken to a vet for anything!  

Not that everyone online (or in the general public) has the same regard for others.  I asked a question awhile back and got blasted for being an irresponsible owner when my dogs got ahold of one of my goat kids and mauled her to death.  I was heartbroken when it happened and questioned if I should consider putting the dogs down.  I got responses that were insulting, inflammatory and downright hurtful.  Not that I didn't already feel horrible and responsible - but to receive some of the self righteous and downright insensitive responses I got made me want to stay off Yahoo for good.  No, I don't think any of these responses would've been the same if the people posting had to look me in the face.    

As one who remembers life before the internet, I'd say that the lack of true interpersonal contact leaves room for inappropriate responses in forums.  We all have our opinions and our own personal experiences, and online forums are designed in a way to give people the chance to ask questions and gain knowledge from others with the same interests.  It shouldn't be a mechanism for disparaging others simply because you can.

Those who lack tact should go to the video store and rent "Bambi".  Thumper's mother was a very wise rabbit - as she put it, "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothin' at all".

Good question on here - thanks for asking it!

Answer 7

Welcome to the world of the Anonymity of the Internet.

People here can rant and rave and act like lunatics, and not have to be held responsible for it.

I admit, I'm a ranting lunatic at times too, but in person, I'm rather soft spoken (sometimes).

Answer 8

I try to make my answers here respectful and concise while still trying to educate people so yes I'd like to say I would answer the same in person.  

Answer 9

Here is the one big difference I personally feel with an online forum such as this one and actual personal confrontations:

When people call me, or approach me in person and ask me a question - they are doing it because they genuinely want the answer, and they want it from ME (usually because they know me and my background or because they were given my name by the recommendation of someone else who does).

When you think about it, that is a HUGE difference.  Very, very, few people would dig out my business card and call to ask me some of the asinine questions ask here on a daily basis.  (that might sound harsh, but we all know it's true)  And many of the people here sure as h**l wouldn't cough up $30 an hour to have me come and help them fix a problem.  They just want an easy, cheap answer...which usually simply does NOT EXIST!

When people do call me or request me to come for a consultation, you're darn right I make it very clear when there is a serious problem.  Isn't that what they're paying me for?  To give it to them straight and tell them where they went wrong and how to fix it without kissing their butts?  If they're looking for me to be the *fuzzy bunny* person that's going to magically fix their dog after he took a chunk out of the Public Service man last week....they need to call somebody else, and I'm not at all afraid to tell them that.

Answer 10

GET YOUR DOG TO THE VET!!

Oh - sorry - I got a little over zealous!  

Well, I am a pretty straigh forward person so usually the answers I give are what I would actually say to someone in person.  That is why I try not to be rude or judgemental in the way I answer.  I do get irritated by questions that are pretty ignorant though and sometimes it is hard to hold my typing back.  In real life, I breed basset hounds and get the same sort of questions from customers that I see a lot on here and I can honestly say I answer them the same way.  

I do think that when you are reading typed questions and answers it is really hard to tell what tone the person is using.  Some things that are taken as rude or obnoxious aren't really being said that way.  Although I have seen some pretty rude answers that are way uncalled for.  I think that has to do with the age and maturity level of the person typing.  So in a way, yes I think the i-net dulls things but in a way I think it makes them more heightened too.

Thats my 2 cents worth.

Answer 11

I tell people exactly what I think, regardless of if its not going to coddle their feelings. If they are going to ask, they are going to get an answer, whats the point of babying them? -- Old enough to ask, old enough to know.

The way I answer on here is the way I would answer on the phone or in person.

Many questions that are asked on here (pertaining to training) I *have* answered before in person or on the phone, and the only difference is that I don't need to use CAPS or extreme punctuation. I get the point across with just the inflection of my voice.

The internet definitely dulls down comments on here. People can take the words any way that they want.

I'm not a mean person by any means, but I'm strongly and bluntly honest. Regardless of if I'll see them again, I'm telling them the way I see it.

I've made friends in my industry from being "mean". Sometimes, you HAVE to be an angry/crazy person to get the point across, and it works.

Answer 12

I haven't been here long enough so cynical yet but I'm getting there!

I cant talk here the way I would in person most of the words would be starred out! I'm not one to hold my tongue so when it comes to my dogs and breed of choice I let the words fly!

I cant do that here!   Darn!  

Answer 13

I like to think I would...

The difference is that if I'm in a crowded room, the chances of being asked the same question over and over (and over) again are fairly slim where as, on the internet - especially here in Y!A, you're likely to see the "I don't have enough money for a vet" or "what shall I name my puppy?" question 20+ times a day. Hearing or reading the same silly question over and over is likely to drive anyone to be a little angry!

What I do on the internet is very similar to what I'd do in person: In person, I walk away. On the Y!A, I bypass the question. If enough of us did that, others would learn to use the "Search for Question" bar at the top of the page.

And seriously? You don't think I should breed her? I thought I'd introduce her to my neighbor's mastiff! LOL

Answer 14

Don't know about you but I have balls on the computer- people are unsteady- and in person if I mouthed off they might hit me...I try to tell people in a nice way in person- on the comp I just let them have it..This weekend a guy walked up top me and started talking to me about Violet, He asked if I was going to breed her- I said well that would be stupid- Because she is not close enough to the breed standar, but on here- I would go into a rant about all the homeless animals and what a moron you are if you breed...I'm a meanie on the internet

Answer 15

No I do not. On the internet I am very rude and disrespectful (to people that really p**s me off) Whereas, if it was in real life, I am very reserved and modest. Sometimes I give dirty looks. ;-)