Would you tell your friend that her husband is cheating on her?

Question

I know that my friends husband has cheated recently but not to sure whether he has keep seeing this other girl they just had a baby and are arguing a lot she has expressed concern to me that she thinks her husband is cheating but I don't what to be the cause of more problems in there relationship.

should I tell her or not?

Answer 1

If she is your friend and you don't tell her now and she finds out later that you knew, she will be very hurt & upset with you. Now there is a slight possibility that telling her may cause conflict but since she suspects it already, I'd guess it will not cause conflict between you & her. If my friend had that kind of info, I'd want her/him to tell me. Good luck!

Mary in Camden, Michigan USA

Answer 2

Ask yourself this question.

Who are you the most loyal too?

Is keeping quiet helping my friend not to get STD's

What would I want my friend to do if she were in my shoes right now?

Answer 3

You have an obligation as her friend to tell her.   Would you want her to tell you if your husband was cheating on her?  My guess is yes.  You are not responsible for the problems or for the fact that he cheated. A real friend will see that.  If she finds out and then she realizes that you knew and didn't tell her, then she might get angry with you for keeping it from her.

Answer 4

hum that is a slippery slope. I say yes though , If one or the other spouses is cheating that relationship is already off in the ditch how could YOU make it any worse? But be warned when you do this your going to be one friend less, because there going to be pissed at you, and they will deny all allegations and try to do a flip and say that you are messing with their husband or wife. and try to make you feel guilty

it happened to me. good luck sounds like a mess  

Answer 5

Quite a moral dilemma. I can't tell you what you "should" do, I'm not a priest and guilt isn't my line.

Personally, I'm of the "mind your own business" mindset. What people choose to do is their business, not mine (until it affects me personally), as is what you choose to do about it.

Apparently, if what you're saying is the truth, you cannot "...cause of more problems in their relationship..." (pardon me if I use the correct spelling), all you can do is throw gas on the fire that is already raging.  

Anyway, you'll eventually do whatever your conscience tells you, and your guilt will allow you, to do.

Answer 6

you have to if she is really your friend.

Answer 7

I think you should, otherwise if she finds out some other way she'll be upset with you for "hiding" it from her. If she's already suspecting it then she won't be angry with you for telling her, as long as you have a credible way to back it up.

Answer 8

I would tell her...you have that obligation as a friend...but give her as much detail as possible for the confrontation phase...cheating is intolerable and you would feel like c**p living the rest of your life knowing it and not telling...

Answer 9

Tell, Tell, Tell....Your friend will be better off in the long run and he will always be a cheater so she can kick him to the curb now!! Before it's too late and there are more kids involved!! :D

Answer 10

you should--if you would like to be told if the situation was reversed. but dont tell her that you are certain without proof. good luck :)

a.

Answer 11

Okay - this one is a tough one. From my own past mistakes of not saying nothing - I will tell you what I think you should do. I think you should tell her, she has a kid with this guy and anything is possible - she could get a sexually transmitted disease and lose the time she could spend in the future with her daughter because of his mistakes. Also you got to think about it - would you want to know if your 'husband' was cheating on you?

Answer 12

I would if you care.

Answer 13

Tell her.  You might lose her as a friend, but, at least you would have done the right thing.  If you don't tell her, she will be upset if she finds out he was cheating for sure and you knew and didn't tell her, as most of all the answerers above are right, tell her.  Would you want her to end up with aids or some other disease from him?  Wouldn't you want to know such a thing if you were married so you could freely divorce and be free to do what you want again?

Mary

Answer 14

If you really love your friend (even if you don't) TELL HER!!! Because if she knows that you knew and you didn't tell her that will be a big problem.

Answer 15

Unless you have video or photos of him in the act of cheating you shouldn't tell her.  You can't just go tell a person something like that unless you are 100% certain and have proof to back it up.  People often don't want to believe that the person they married would betray their vows.  When confronted with it they will often go into denial unless there is proof beyond refute or their spouse is the one to tell them.  So, if you tell her and don't have anything to back it up be prepared for the possibility that she will not believe you.  You might, at least temporarily, lose a friend over it.

Answer 16

She deserves to know.  I think you should tell her - she already has suspicions anyway.

It helps to imagine you were in that situation - would you want to know?

Answer 17

TELL HER  YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF THAT WAS HAPPENING TO YOU