Would you tell your future spouse about your "haraam" past?

Question

Generally speaking, it's easier for Muslim men because men can get away with just about anything and everything whereas girls are seen as "slvts" and "sl*gs" and "ho3s" for messing around. So say you messed around a lil before marriage, maybe had just the one boyfriend but didn't even do anything sexual, or you had loads of boyfriends, or maybe even lost your virginity (in an extreme case) but now you've changed and you don't want to be like that anymore, would you ever ever tell your husband about the things you used to do? Some people say honesty is the best policy and you should lead an honest life together, and he may just respect you for your honesty (yeah right). Or that it's all in the past now, the past doesn't matter, you should just stay clean with your husband so you don't need to tell him about your past. What do you think? What if some of the things you did you feel really guilty about now and you have repented for them but maybe sometimes they come back to haunt you and

Answer 1

If Almighty God hid your shame and your sins, you shouldn't put it out in the open. Almighty God humiliates those who humiliate themselves.

Answer 2

no, there are several hadith that say that you are not supposed to talk about your past sins.  a man came to the prophet pbuh and told him that he had just committed zinah (adultery).  the prophet became angry and said it was a blessing for him that God kept it private.  

so no, don't tell future spouse about haraam past. not even a little.

Answer 3

no i told my husband. el 7mdo illah, we are still together.

edit...with reading everyone's answers i didn't know that i was to keep quiet. i mean i just thought it was the right thing to do. so that there was no secrets between us. well now i know but now it's too late.

Answer 4

There is nothing to tell, i'm a good girl.

:D

Answer 5

Allah Forgives,,,what matters is now..if one has Repented (Taubah)..then who are men not to forgive ?

where as Allah Allmighty says   5:13"............  GOD loves those who are benevolent."

[42:37] They avoid gross sins and vice, and when angered they forgive.

[42:43] Resorting to patience and forgiveness reflects a true strength of character.

[45:14] Tell those who believed to forgive those who do not expect the days of GOD. He will fully pay everyone for whatever they have earned.

Answer 6

Alhamdulillah I'm so glad I have a clean past and present and InshaAllah future. May Allah (SWT) guide us all.

IF I was in a situation like you're talking about, I'd keep schtum! And if I ever felt like I needed to tell him, I'd do my best to keep my gob shut and just talk to Allah (SWT) instead and ask Him to keep me strong and continously ask for forgiveness. The way I see it, no matter how loving, understanding or pious your husband may seem, if he finds out something like that about your past, then your honour as his wife and as a woman can go down just like that... Especially if he married you thinking you were so innocent, clean and good.

Answer 7

I Never Had any Haram Past ! Got married when i was 15 !

So i took control of my hormones Exactly in time !

Answer 8

If someone is going to hold you against your haram past then that person isn't worth marrying.

Answer 9

ur not suposed to say ur past

Answer 10

i have never messed around with any guy but if i did i wouldn't tell my future husband. but then again he would know if you aren't a virgin. but anything other than that he wouldn't have to know and i wouldn't tell him. But i will never have to deal with this problem.

Answer 11

The past is the past,your s*x life before you met your current partner is none of anyones business.

Answer 12

No, my past sins are between my Lord and me.

He has covered them for me so why should I expose myself.

I hope and pray that on the day of judgment my sins will be concealed and forgiven.

I didn't ask his past sins either.

Don't ask don't tell.