Wouldn't this annoy you or put you off?

Question

You have a second date planned. In the confirmation email, you said, "Dinner is great, but we can do something else if you wish..." He wrote me back and asked me if by saying "we can do something else if you wish..." did I mean we can do something MORE than kissing! Now, with that written the way it is, and keep in mind this is date two, like I said... date one was hand holding and nothing more... Would you be a little put off if some guy thought you meant MORE than kissing would be an option?? On date two??

Please, keep in mind that I in no way gave this guy the impression that I would be sexing it up any time soon! As a matter of fact, he felt it necessary to ASK my permission to hold hands on date one and I told him holding hands is fine, but I wasn't comfortable with kissing... WHY THEN WOULD HE ASSUME I WOULD DO MORE THAN KISS ON DATE TWO...?? Ugh!

Answer 1

ugh yeah thats fxcking annoying he sounds like a douche

but maybe he just misunderstood

but still....he must be really hxrny to misunderstand that.

Answer 2

Never assume.  You are assuming that he means one thing and you don't really know what he means, Plus he may have assumed you meant something.  Talk to him, let him know what you meant and that it bothered you what he wrote.  He may explain and what he meant may not upset you.  Don't assume the worst.  

Be honest and communicate.

Answer 3

Eh, I agree with 'S'. You're the one assuming here.

Answer 4

Did it ever occur to you that he just assumed you wanted to do something else besides dinner? Like maybe a movie or a picnic at a park? I think you are the one who is assuming. Maybe you should call him and say, "I'd like to go to a movie this time. I hear the Dark Night is good."

EDIT: Did he actually say "we can do more than kiss?" The way you wrote this seems like all he said was "we can do something else if you wish." Ok, then never mind. Yeah, the guy's an ***.

Answer 5

Did he actually say "did you mean something more than kiss" or did you just imply that's what he meant.  If he did say that I'd be very put off, especially if he actually asked to hold hands with me on the first date.  I don't know that's just weird like from one extreme to another.  Maybe a friend of his read the email and emailed you that or something.  I'd at least talk to him about it.

Answer 6

Yes, it would indeed annoy me AND put me off.

I think your message was perfectly clear. His response was strange indeed. Optimistic, let's be honest, but strange.

At least you know what's on his mind. I'd be really uncomfortable with him drawing such wildly inappropriate inferences from something so benign.

Answer 7

well that was a pretty shady thing to say (the guy that is). I would be put off by it...completely. Especially after only date...puhlease.

Answer 8

maybe hes as freaked out as you!

maybe he thought you meant that, even though you didnt, and was asking you if thats what you meant.

you cant have a tone of voice in an email, e.g,

"yeah" could be said happily, sadly or sarcastically, and written down it could be anything. maybe its the same with him asking if you meant 'doing more than kissing' - he might really have been worried himself!

i think you should sit down face to face and talk to him

if hes too pushy, dont let him make you do anything you dont want to do and cut him off.

Answer 9

Pete said it best...believe it or not....s*x is foremost on guys mind....some guys are just better at concealing it....it would put me off but not so much because i know guys are driven by s e x.

Answer 10

wait, so you emailed him that you can do something else and he emailed you back asking if that meant more then kissing? oh my, no offense but this guy sounds a little dim!

yeah, i'd be a bit annoyed and put off by that behavior.

Answer 11

As a general rule, us guys are so driven by s*x that when faced with the mere possibility of it, we become mildly retarded (at  best).

Still....

Any guy who is going to ask a question like that is like a schoolhouse in summer...

No class.

Answer 12

He is a man.  You can not say "He knows better".  He doesn't. What would you say if he proposed marriage and presented you with a $20,000 diamond.  .

Answer 13

Ok you are a classy chick.

He also has some class and is being brave by asking your permission to hold hands

First, if you like him, forgive his attempt, he is being honest with you, this is good.

So return the favor and say "listen guy, I respect myself and I respect our little thing we have going here too much to just throw it away with a fling, I will let you know when I am ready to take it to the next level."

Honesty is a very strong foundation for a relationship so maybe that can be a good thing.

If you think he is a chump let him know how he turned you off by disrespecting you and move on.

Best of luck!

(if you do decide to let him go PLEASE tell him why. There is nothing worse for a young guy than not knowing what he did to turn a girl off)

Answer 14

Yes, I don't think I'd enjoy being around him anymore. At least you know now, instead of later, perhaps when you felt more for him.