Wouldn't.. this just make it worse??

Question

Well, my dad has lung cancer, but he won't let anybody do anymore scans or anything. My family is a Christian family. So, we have this neighbor. He is encouraging my dad to be brave, don't let it get to him.. which he doesn't anyway. But anyway, my mom KNOWS that he has lung cancer, but my neighbor has told her to keep telling herself and dad "You don't have cancer!" but I was thinking about it.. won't this just make it worse when it grows? And spreads? And well.. when he.. dies? Because he can't do kemo. He's 84 years old, and too weak for it. It scares me to think about it. But I mean, if she keeps making herself and him believe that he doesn't have cancer, and he well.. dies, won't it make the impact much much worse?

Am I right to think about it this way?

Or should I do what she does and make myself belive he doesn't?

I mean.. it's just now hitting home..and it makes me hurt.

Answer soon please.

Answer 1

Denial is not treatment - you are correct in your thinking.  Why is your Dad refusing any more treatment?

Answer 2

I am sure your father knows he has cancer.  I think whats going on here is more a mind over matter so that the end of his life isnt focused on the depression of dieing.  Giving up will kill a person quicker than anything.  He is dieing.  You all know he is dieing.  What point is there in moping around about it.  It wont change the facts.  I would much rather spend the end of my life happily watching tv rather than sitting in a dark room crying my eyes out because I have cancer.

How old are you?  Your father has lived a long life.  Cancer treatment is....  well, I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.  Having been there, I can tell you that at that age, I would not pursue treatment either.  Its a quality v quantity issue.  What good is it to go through treatment to live a few more months, even a couple more years, if you are miserable the entire time?  

Answer 3

Well I think denying it will just make it hurt more in the end. If she keeps telling herself that hes fine she will be even more hurt when he dies then if she starts working towards acceptance now.

What does your family religion have to do with the question? lol

Answer 4

Unfortunately treatments have stopped working.  Your neighbor is trying to get your Father to have positive thoughs which sometimes work.

There was a guy named Norman Cousins. He had cancer and instead of going through treatmentm he rented a lot of comedy movies, and watched thosem and cured himself.  

I would recommend his book and the book Getting Well Again.  They have great tips for a person who is terminal

Answer 5

yeah i think they should be honest with themselves... it might jst make things worse. but i get where they are comming from, they are just tryingto think positive and not think about the fact that he has cancer