Wouldn't you love to hear positive stories from adopted children and biological moms here?

Question

I am not saying that all the answers are negative about adoption, but I challenge you today to write one thing positively that has happened if you are adopted or have placed for adoption.

I will begin- I am so thankful that my birth mom loved me enough to place me for adoption- she did not have to do that- it is sacrificial love to be able to do that. Also I have 2 adopted children- and I praise God for the love of their birth moms. Being adopted for me is very special, I do not feel that I lost out on anything not knowing all about my birth family- however saying this I also respect my birth mom and ask God to bless her everyday of her life.

Answer 1

here is my post of a positive story.

http://amyadoptee.blogspot.com/2007/12/d...

Answer 2

I am a biological mother to two children.  I am married to their biological father.  We have a lot of money and two beautiful homes.  Our children have college degrees and great careers.  Life is good!!

Answer 3

I was adopted.  I have no idea what my life would have been had I not been adopted at 2 years old, or if I had not been relinquished at 13 months old.  All I can go on is the experience of my life as a whole.  

I have a very good life, but it does not negate the the fact that relinquishment and subsequent adoption, just like any other events in life, have affected it in various ways.  My natural father said that no matter how you want to look at it, being raised by people other than your natural parents is different from being raised by your natural parents.  I agree with him.  Notice, neither of us said it's worse or better -- just different.

As I said, I have no idea what would have happened if my relinquishment and adoption situation had been other than it was.  Would I have liked it better or not?  I don't know.  But, what I do know is that I'm happy with my personal life today.  I am also happy to be involved in work to regain the civil rights of adopted citizens.  I stand with dignity as an adopted person.

Answer 4

I know exactly what you mean.

It is almost depressing to get on here and hear what people have to say about their adoption issues.

I am absolutely amazed that i got matched with such wonderful people so early on in my life, and i recently contacted my birth mother via email and she seems just as wonderful.

Yes. My situation is a little bit weirder than the norm but i am truly blessed and happy that i was adopted and i wouldn't choose it any other way.

Answer 5

I'm happy that I'm adopted. end of story.

Answer 6

my mother got pregnant with me and my twin sister when she was 15 after she had us she knew she couldn't take care of one of us let alone both so she put us up for adoption and when we were adopted she gave our new parents a box full of photos and letters where she notes her  whole pregnancy and how much she loves us and we have been in her life for 6 years now and we are 14

Answer 7

A friend of mine was adopted and found her birth parents as an adult with a child of her own.  She found that they all looked alike, laughed alike, had similar interests. She was the eldest of 6.  Her parents had gotten pg young and were Catholic, and so gave her up for adoption.  They were told they had 30 days to change their minds.  They got married. They came back 2 wks later, she'd been adopted.  

Her adoptive parents really cared for her and loved her.  They could never have children, so she was a real gift from God for them. And they also ended up with a grandchild!

The other side is that in her birth family, her dad abused the kids who looked most like him, and guess what, she looked more like him than anyone.  So God spared her that growing up experience, and yet reunited her with her birth mom & sibs after dad had died. So she got the best of both worlds.

Her adoptive parents were very nice and I loved them alot as well.

:)

Answer 8

Our adoption story is similar to all those above. Having the birth family in my daughters life was mandatory by me. I wouldn't have adopted any other way.

Answer 9

I think it is wonderful that you have open adoption arrangements so your children can have a healthy relationship with their birthmom.

I did A LOT of research into adoption before deciding to adopt domestically in an open arrangement.  I talked to MANY adoptive families who are happy, stable, with great families and positive relationships with birth parents.  I believe wholeheartedly that is in the best interest of the child as I have seen these situations work out so well.

Answer 10

I have been told all my life how great my adoption is.  Those stories are all over the place.  Do we really need more?

Whether you mean it or not, this is just another invalidation of the loss of adoption and the feelings adoptees have about it.  It's great that you didn't mean to upset someone.  You did, but it's nice that you didn't mean to.

Does God really want people to give up their children?  Is it God's plan to have people get pregnant and not have the support to raise the child?  What sort of God is this?

I know, I know...  go ahead and report me.  All my life I've been told how to feel.  All my life others have spoken on my behalf.  Now that I find my own voice, I'm criticized and told that I'm ruining for everyone else.  

Here's my question...  Do you really think about this before you say these things?  Maybe if you're not hearing the positive stories, you need to wonder more about why that is?

Answer 11

please go into my profile, there are plenty of good things about adoption. i had a great life and i thank my bio parents for what they gave me. as a matter of fact if you go to my contacts you will see Lori A, that is actually my birthmother. she is my best friend. we talk all the time and lean on each other when we need it. i couldnt ask for a better relationship with her. the last few months have been a whirlwind for us because we have found my bio father. and might i add, he is fantastic and i adore him.

my adoptive parents (mom and dad) are great, stable strong people. they gave me everything i needed and most of what i wanted. i lacked for nothing. i was cut from a different mould than them so they have spent a chunk of my life thinking i was crazy, but thats just because they didnt understand me. thats ok, they still loved me and supported me.

for me adoption was a blessing. my bio parents were in very bad places when i was born, they could have never taken care of me. they both admit that. they made a selfless choice and did what had to be done. no words can make you understand how much that means to me.

my story is what adoption is supposed to be like. unfortunately some are not able to make that statement.

check out our profiles, Lori A and myself. contact us if you want. we are open and honest about how this has affected us and our lives. i am the luckiest woman on earth, i have a family that gave me life and a family that gave me A life. who could ask for more?

Answer 12

There is not ONE thing that was better about my being adopted.

My adoptive parents were disapointed to find they adopted a child nothing like them. We had NOTHING in common, they were not educated, or intellectually curious in any way, they were verbally, emotionally, and somewhat physically abusive to me and their other adopted child.  They had no money.  I was raised in a lower-middle class neighborhood and ate some version of Hamberger Helper everynight for dinner.  We rode around in rusty cars where some doors didn't work, or windows were taped up.  My aparents never turned off the television, and everyone yelled.  My amother smoked so much, I could barely SEE through the cloudy haze.  My amother HATED reading, and mocked me for going into 'fantasy land'.  They swore at each other, and us, and were big namecallers.  I never participated in ANY extra-curricular activities or hobbies because it 'cost too much'.  I never had any money of my own, so I started busing tables at a catering company when I was 13, and have worked ever since.  Aparents had no money for college, and wouldn't sign for any loans.  When I left home, what I didn't take my amother threw out.

Here's what I found in my natural family at 22.  A family that lived in luxury and wealth.  European vacations, multiple residences, college educations, spirited conversations over meals made from scratch.  Mother and her sisters read voraciously, and had the same interests in design, art, cooking, travel, etc.  A family that laughed instead of yelling.  People who ate a meal without waving their utensils in the air, and chewed their food with their mouths CLOSED.  My mother lived in a beautiful home in CA, a 5 minute walk from the ocean.

Those are the two worlds I'm supposed to reconcile and be grateful for, and not be bitter, of course.  All because my mother wasn't married to my father.

What's good now, much to the chagrin of one Y!A answerer here, is I do have a nice life NOW.  I have a wonderful husband, and three bio kids.

I have this family, this happiness, in SPITE of the horrors of adoption by emotionally unhealthy people who thought adopting children would help them fill a void, pass the time, or God knows what.

Adoption is not always better.

Answer 13

My youngest brother is adopted. It's just an awesome thing for people to do!

Answer 14

well, for one, this is a question site, not a story site. go to possitivethoughts.com if you want your stories.

Answer 15

The internet and the television media are filled with I luv adoption stories. We don't need any more of that happy-dappy claptrap.

There are few places where one can find the negative stories. But that is changing, one adult adoptee voice at a time.

Answer 16

I just want it known that despite having adoption loss, and trying to reconcile my feelings about that, there is a lot positive going on with the adoption of my son.  The positives are positive and the negatives are negative.  One feeling does not invalidate the other.

Answer 17

Yes; I would.  While I know you were focusing this on adopters and first families, I would just like to add that we are blessed to have added not only our son, but also his bio grandparents to our family.  They have become like an extra set of parents to my husband & I.  : )

Answer 18

My grandmother was very young and could not support her first child (my aunt), so she gave her up for adoption. At 12 my aunts adoptive sis told her she was adopted! She found her real mom, went and met her, & is now very close to her real family and adoptive family. She has no hard feelings & is very grateful!

Answer 19

I am sooooo thankful that I was adopted!!!  I wouldn't change a thing!!!  When my parents got married, they didn't even want to have children.  My mother had to have a hysterectomy soon after so she knew that she would never be able to have children naturally anyway.  One day they changed their minds and adopted an older child.  Soon after that, a baby boy.  When he (my brother) was old enough, he decided that he wanted a lil sister.  This is where I came in at.  They thought, "well...  it would be nice to have another  little girl."  So they adopted me soon after.  We all are very close.  Had we stayed in the situations that we were in to begin with, none of us would have made it.  Our bio situations were not good.  I appreciate the fact that my birth mother loved me enough to put me up for adoption.  Since I have met her, I understand how urgent the situation was.  For her unselfishness, I was given a beautiful family and life.  I love and thank her for that.

Now I am a mother of 4.  I have adopted one of my children in hopes that I too will provide her with a better future.

Answer 20

I spent most of my life not enjoying the fact that I had put Rachael up for adoption. In fact I pretty much beat myself up over it. Her bfather and I loved each other very much in our own ways. I was 16 with lots of home problems and he was committed to Viet Nam. We filled out the papers together and did what we felt needed to be done. I prayed and drank a lot. He finished his tour and drank a lot. We lost touch with one another but not respect for one another.

Long story short. Rachael was adopted by June and Ward Clever, her bfather and I both got our selves on track. I married and had 2 more kids (eventually) and he is one talented man in the area of carpentry. We have pulled together as a family of our own. It is beyond words having her in my life for the past 8 years and now having my very dear friend (her bdad) back as well. All 3 of us are very grateful for one another and finally feel complete. It's a good ending to a sad beginning. It's a good beginning to the rest of our lives.