Write as many jokes possible fr ten points. good ones?

Question

Write as many jokes possible fr ten points. good ones?

Answer 1

i got few jokes try these it they can do the trick~~!!!!!!!

joke1

A woman's dishwasher had stopped working, so she called a repairman.

He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, dont worry about my Rottweiler. He wont bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at her apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. Like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with its incessant squawking and talking.

Finally the repairman couldn't stand the parrot's talking any longer and he told the bird to be quiet.

The parrot replied, "Get him, Brutus!"

joke2

One day, a mailman was greeted by a boy and his dog. The mailman said to the boy, "Does your dog bite?"

"No," replied the boy.

Just then, the dog bit the mailman.

"Hey, "he yelled. "I thought your dog doesn't bite!"

"He doesn't," replied the boy, "but that's not my dog."

joke3

Did you know that studies have indicated that diarrhea is actually a hereditary disease?

Yep… It runs in the jeans!

joke4

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand.

There's a hole in one of the bags and every once in a while a $20 bill comes flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"d**n!" says the little old lady, "I'd better go back and see if I can gather up some of them. Thanks!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "Where did you get that money? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes right into my flower beds! So, I stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper and each time some guy sticks through the bushes, I say; '$20 or off it comes!'"

"Hey not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "Ok, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up.

joke5

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

joke6

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

Answer 2

What did the farmer say when he saw a brown chicken standing next to a brown cow?

BROWNchickenBROWNcoww..

instead of bom chicka wah wah. lollll

GET IT

Answer 3

(Im not racist btw, I just think its funny, and its a joke so dont get offended please)

Q. If you had s*x once a day every day for 365 days and got all the used condoms and melted them into a tire what would you name it?

A. A f****n good year.

What does a black man and and an apple have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

Its okay for me to make fun of black people, I found out there is a black man in my family tree, he is still hanging there.

Answer 4

Memory's Going

An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

"No, I can remember that."

"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said.

"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He went into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."