Writer Needed for ANYTHING?

Question

I boast superb writing and research skills and would be delighted to work any written project you urgently need completed.

This list includes, but is not limited to, essays, vows, research papers, short stories, biographies, poems, ads, resumes, and much more.

Below is a sample I just wrote for you to gauge my writing.

Contact me to negotiate fees and set deadlines and parameters.

"The crinkled flab of forehead pressed heavily upon his eyebrows, and the bushy grey levees, flimsy and brittle, relinquished under the pressure and arched despairingly. Beneath these broken gateways perched two bleak, brown eyes, desolate, haunting, fixed upon the golden-haired tot. The breeze rolled playfully, ruffling the child’s sunny locks, but no smirk dared curl the man’s thin lips. Stolidly, he watched. More crevices in my face than the boy’s age six times over, he reasoned mournfully. Eyebrows deepening, collapsing further into rubble and self-pity, he receded into the muddled haze of his memories. His childhood- the place of crimson magnolias and indistinct songbirds, the beefy paws of his father curled around a frail woman, his mother…deeper, deeper in the mist he remembered the shrieking whistles of war, the dizzying finality of death, of youth challenged and robbed…the thin lips of a boy screaming, screaming, as crimson saturated and overflowed from his hands…the bleak, brown eyes flicked earnestly to the present, a gleaming refuge from his thoughts. Jealously, he gazed at the tot. How I envy your youth, he conceded, may it be penned by kinder hands than was mine."

Answer 1

Sorry, but you opened yourself up to this. This is excessively wordy. It's great that you know so many words; it's totally unnecessary to use them all at once.

Answer 2

I would be the last to diminsh your boast of skills, but unless you are being paid by the word, your 'skills' set obviously includes verbosity, a handy thesaurus and more hyperbole than found in all the collected works of Shakespeare. Perhaps less similes, and more fact would enable you to make a point in less than 500 words.

There is no proven connection between wordiness and good literature. If you can prove otherwise, please let me know, and I'll change my curriculum.