Writing a short story. This is what I have so far. Feedback?

Question

Tick tick tick. The constant noise in my mind is going to drive me mad. Tick tick tick. Shut up, SHUT UP! I held my eyes shut tight and clenched my fists as hard as I could, but I am unable to quiet the explosive inside myself that is sure to go off at any second. Never again, will I do this to myself, never again. I'm done, I quit. I'm done. Even in my current state I know that is a lie. I need this, every bit of it. I can hardly comprehend living any other way. It is not only the drug I am addicted to, it is also the lifestyle. The struggle, I need the struggle. Not knowing where I am going to sleep each night, and other uncertainties, are what keep my heart beating.

The room is dark. The only light is coming from the moon, which just barely shines through the cracks of the boarded up window. It was only now that I remembered there are other people in the room. These are my friends, my buddies. My fellow ****** up, wasted-life junkies. Perhaps in a past life we all meant somethin

Answer 1

I really like it! I like it a lot!

Keep writing. you should email the final to me! :]

Answer 2

the first sentence makes me want to keep on reading

Answer 3

I loved this. I was drawn in from the start. Like I couldn't read it fast enough, lol. I wanted to know what the character was waiting for. I don't usually like stories that are dark but i loved this. It had just enough description w/o being too much but enough that you can picture the scene. Did I say I loved it? Lol.

Answer 4

I think you are a really good writer! This is great! Keep it up!

Answer 5

You are extremely talented! I am an avid reader and you had me hooked within the first few sentences!!! :)

Answer 6

Very good,,,,,

Answer 7

fantastic. love it.

the whole drug thing was a huge turn off though...

heres mine: its kind of confusing when you say "new world". because i dunno if you mean the future or the past because later on you say "...became our today" but um, other than that, its really creative.

btw, heres mine: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=2...

Answer 8

a druggie with such a sharp mind is unlikely, but great job

Answer 9

You had me spellbound - you are really able to explain a situation in enough detail - to set the visuals going with your readers. Well done !

Answer 10

I like it!

Actually we have similar styles! Go us, haha but I did really like it. Sounds like something i"d actually like to read!

Answer 11

It's rather sad, but somehow beautiful..

Answer 12

This is very good. Keep writing. I would like to see the final copy.