Writing a story: dialogue help?

Question

I'm writing a story and I can't seem to feel comfortable writing dialogue between characters. I'm not sure how to really do it. here's an example of what I've been doing:

Lane called the minute I sat down to relax and enjoy my last few hours of camp-free summer.

[indent]“Hey, Lydia,” she said when I answered.

[indent]“Hey, Evil One.”

[indent]“Oh, come on! It’s going to be fun,” she insisted.

[indent]“Sure. Fun.”

[indent]“Really! There’s going to be lots to do and maybe even some cute boys....”

i know you probably don't get what's going on in the story, but is the actual concept of the conversation right?

help meee!

Answer 1

it sounds like lydia is upset with this Lane girl

Answer 2

Yeah, dialogue is tough.

Remember that you can put a lot of info into dialogue, in fact, sometimes you can use it to tell the whole story.  So, if you get stuck, just put stuff the narrator is saying straight in.  Like when Lydia calls, have the other other girl say, "Oh hey, I just sat down to relax and enjoy my last few hours of summer."  It's the exact same information, but it's being said outloud instead of quietly so it makes the story overall better.

But what you have so far sounds good and naturally "flowing".  ;)

Answer 3

why do you think it is so bad? it just doesn't seem long enough to me. also i got a little confused since someting seems to be missing. are we supposed to be hearing both sides of the conversation? if so, there is a jump from "hey evil one" to the next sentence, "oh come on..."

something was said that i didn't get as to what will be fun.

if you are doing a one sided conversation, that is ok, the reader will have to mentally fill in the other side of the dialogue using his or her imagination. or if you are only pieces of conversation, fill it in with other facts:

the phone rang, as i was sitting down to relax. when i heard my best friend's voice, i couldn' resist, "hey evil one"

she made me an offer i could refuse, but continued, "oh come on! it's going to be fun."

my "sure fun" didn't stop her, and  she went on

"really!" and she seductively added "There's gonna be lots to do. Maybe ever some cute boys"

"Hummmmmmmmm" was my only response.

When you are imitating speech, try to get a natural rhytm of how it would sound. Say it out loud and try to express how your character would say based his or her age and other characteristics.

you can continue by introducing another character:

then i heard mom yell up to me, "who's that, dear?"  

"oooof" i whispered. then out loud, "mom, it's only lane."

and without a pause, i agreed,

"ok, lane my girl, you are truly evil. i'll meet you in five."