Written a few years ago - what do you think?

Question

I tried to pull you to me, needing the touch of your skin. But you were looking somewhere else, and you walked away, never looking back. You didn't see me walking against the wind, because I desparately wanted to be someone you needed. But I couldn't walk between the raindrops, and I fell so often, you left me far behind, in an ocean of bitter tears. I still seen your smile, the look in your eyes when we were in love. You are lost to me now. I don't know where you are, and god, I try not to care. But I practise walking between the raindrops that still fall, in the hope that maybe one day you'll turn around and find me.

Answer 1

This poem is very good, you just need to work on the structure to make it fluid and easier to read. def' 8/10

Answer 2

it's really lovely. i can't help my self saying though, it isn't what i'd call a poem. more of a passage

Answer 3

i thought you were talking to me. i was looking around and everything!

lol

Answer 4

I like it. It sounded very sincere, and used metaphors very well. :D

Answer 5

It's good. It really sounds heartfelt.

Answer 6

I like it. It speaks the truth in my eyes. I can feel it, the pain and sorrow of it.