Yet again, another poem. what do you think?

Question

Our lives would

Be spent miserably.

We wouldn’t be

Able to hide the

Façade, the truth:

That we were Hurting

Inside; ripping up

From the Inside Out

Well, i think this poem literally sucks, but what do you guys think about it? good? bad?

it wasn't even a poem in the beginning. i wrote that line in a story i had to do for school. i just decided to see how it would turn out.

constructive criticism please!

Answer 1

They are running away from family and friends for marriage.Also she is pregnant.

Answer 2

that was a nice piece.. a good literary work of art... short and simple.. yet crisp and meaningful..

the poem would sound better and bind the interest of the reader if you work on the rhyme of the poem..:-) all the best

Answer 3

It was short, precise and to the point! You do that thing with capital letters in archaic places to give it entertainment... I am impressed with your bold strokes at life and hope that I will read some happier news from your battlefront... Grade  B+

Answer 4

For.. KLU  TZ122..

Our lives just  spent in misery,

We're not even able to hide.

Is it a facade or the truth we are hunting,

The indecision rips us apart inside.

But I will just keep on hunting,

The truth is somewhere to be found.

That's what this life's all about now,

Not for becoming someone so proud.

I am just a tiny spirit soul now,

From the eternal spiritual domain

I know I'll never be truly happy,

Till I get back there once again.

Take care. Best wishes. Hope you don't mind the alterations. Thanks for making me think.

GOURANGA GOURANGA GOURANGA