Question:

Yet another simplistic but meaningful poem. "The Lonely Man's Derivative" What do you think?

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Cry does he not,

This man of youthful age.

He can see the trials upon him.

Those must not enrage.

He realizes that he has naught but one,

One thing that he has left to hold.

That is his honor and his pride,

Both of which are bold.

It is not anger that engulfs him,

Nor self-pity or shame,

But the destruction of his battlement,

It’s mission left to blame.

So is it truly his regression,

Or his journey to anew?

Created by the heavens,

Leave him nothing left to do.

So he sits,

And he sits.

Awaiting his demise.

For their hate against his own domineer

Is what will a fight arise.

He will wait for oceans passing

To wash upon his shore.

For he cannot justify

What they wish to be more.

Is he too simple to be accepted?

May his peace be taken afar?

Or have they given up all hope abroad,

Destroying those that are?

Like the sound of the seagulls on those solid busts,

Is he ever so attracted.

Even light in this confounded place

May be now refracted.

He is left to ponder his visions again,

Those of previous been contorted,

By this place that challenges his own existence,

With all his achievements deported.

The Seagulls call, he can hear them pray

Upon their solid altars.

Can the others hear them and their blessed songs,

Or are they left as Gibraltar?

But he knows some day that he will reach his friends,

Their white feathers and breast’s astride.

He will come across another bird

That wants not but pride.

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  1. A poem full of carefully measured (dare I say metered) torment, a reflection on disillusionment over life's trials which yet is forward-looking to ultimate redemption and restoration  The juxtaposition of long and short lines gives the tone of afterthought and frustration tinged with deferred hope a temporal signature that makes your words memorable.  I am not totally sold on some of your diction or semantic links, but they don't detract from your message.  I would like to see you spend some time working on sharpening this poem's syntax and diction and then read your reposted version; it shows promise.  Best wishes...

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