You get to change one thing in Foster Care adoption. What is it and why?

Question

For my own personal understanding. Thanks

Answer 1

Educating paps about the reality of adoption. I think getting paps to understand that its about finding a home for a child that temporarily needs one and not about ownership "adoption". Too many are worried about their own feelings and use the child's to justify it.

The "for keeps" selfish attitude needs to go.  

Answer 2

I second everything Heather Leigh said.  Better education, mandatory counseling.  Great questions!

ETA:  LT, I completely agree.  Too many folks adopt through foster care not knowing what they're getting into (or they're not interested in the kids' needs anyway), and end up abusing the kids they adopt.  I think good pre-adopt education would eliminate a lot of that.  For instance, in Oregon, they make a HUGE deal out of making sure all foster/adoptive parents know that spanking of any foster or adopted child, at any age, for any reason, under ANY circumstances, is absolutely prohibited, and they'll yank those kids so fast it'll make your head spin.  They spent a lot of time on that point in our classes, and did whatever they could to really drill that point in.  I don't know if it ran anyone off, but I sure hope that anyone who believed in spanking before hand changed their minds REALLY fast (either about adopting, or spanking)!

Answer 3

Third Heather Leigh.

Mandatory counseling. It would make all the difference, especially with older children that have behavioural issues.

I think more support should be in place, so that people could adopt children with difficulties, and know that there was someone there to help them when it gets hard.

Respite care should be available for everyone with disabled children, but to choose a child with difficulties, I think more people would do it if they knew there was help.  

Answer 4

TPR much faster.  We are in the process of fostering 2 children and they've been in the system for 18 months.  Their mom has a lot of hurdles to overcome to get them back and the system is such that she can keep delaying terminating her rights.

So we try to keep the kids from feeling like they are languishing in the system and hope for the best.

Answer 5

Terminating parental rights faster.  

Hold social workers more accountable for the welfare of the children and the selection of foster parents they approve.

Answer 6

Hi again!

Unlike others, I think TPR takes little time....and I think we should give the mother/father every possible opportunity to rectify a situation. I don't believe the child should repeatedly be pulled from and returned to the home, but that isn't a TPR issue specifically.

I digress.

I think social workers should be two seperate entities....one for the natural parents and one for the adoptive parents....with a guardian ad litem for the child. Currently, at least in our state, the same person is responsible for the entire triad...which makes for unethical methods IMHO. How can the social worker be objective or remotely try to help the mom meet her goals when she is actively trying to permenantly place the child with us? It is a huge conflict of interest....not to mention the perks the agency gets for adoptive placement. It seems as if everyone is working to make sure the child is adopted out....and a lowly court appointed attorney-- who could care less-- is the only one working on the moms behalf.

<<adoptive mommy through foster care.

Answer 7

Hmm...universally...

...that kids in foster care who are eligible for adoption were NEVER abused or neglected.  

By removing this factor, you remove many of the problems that are going to arise in the adoption..including the acting-out, the emotional disorders, the behavioral issues, etc.

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[But, I guess if that factor did not exist (abuse and neglect) there wouldn't be that many kids in foster care to begin with.]

Answer 8

Adoptive parents need to be trained better on some of the needs of older children that have been in and out of the system.

Our son spent the first 2 - 3 years trying to s***w up so bad that we would give "him back". When one thing didn't work, he would try even harder with a "worse" offense. It finally took a physical attack towards me before he finally realized he was with us for good. Hi finally figured out that if we would not send him away for that, nothing could make us send him away. (His words) But, we had no idea this is why he was acting out.

Also, counseling should be mandatory when adopting from foster care.  Let the counselor decide if a family needs counseling or not... It would have saved us years of heart ache if we would have been working with a counselor right from the beginning. S/He could have told us why my son was acting out.

I'm sorry, I know you asked for just one, but they kinda go together.