You guys are on a roll today. So, here I go. My man and I together 3 years in October.?

Question

Got married dec of 06. He was drinking heavily. I did not know him very well. Stupid me, married him after 3 months of being together. Then we started having alot of friction. After 6 months of marriage, the guy went to his female friend of a few years (she became my friend too), and tried to take her to bed. I basically caught him. He was very drunk. I divorced him. We got back together, but things are not good. I don't think I will ever really trust him alot. I feel like this is just a relationship of convenience and that he really does not love me. He tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, yet, we hardly talk anymore. When I try to bring things up to resolve or discuss, he turns it back on me and we get nowhere. Tell me what you think. I am not sure of how I feel anymore. I wonder if I just need to get the h.ll out asap. I am not happy. Do you think I ever will be happy with him?

Answer 1

Well, he's a drunk, he can't communicate without blaming you, and he can't keep it in his pants.  How can a woman be happy with a man like that?  

Answer 2

No, he has a drinking problem and uses it as an excuse to be less of a reliable partner. It will never work out for you, unless settling for this is what you want.

Answer 3

this is very unhealthy for you, you need to get out. if he is drinking heavily, he loves that high more than you. and no, you can't trust him while he is drinking. best for you to get out while you can. you will learn from this relationship and better your life. plz leave before he gets violent. most men do when they drink.

Answer 4

There's a lot of good answers here, and it would be wise to take several into consideration.  The main one is Al-Anon, along with getting yourself into some counseling.  Yes, YOU need help also, just as much as he does.  There are a couple "don't's" that you should be aware of:  Don't tell him he's an alcoholic!

               Don't tell him HE'S got a problem.

               Don't cover up for him.

               Don't buy his booze.

               Don't take on his responsibilities as a husband & provider.

               Don't expect him to make you be happy.

If he is physically hurting you, emotionally/mentally abusing you, it may be wise to get out for the moment.  Your not running away, your protecting yourself from harm.  If you think your the "only one" that has made this mistake, or feel this way,  believe me your not!

Hope this helps...it did for me. Pixie48      

Answer 5

Weren't you really antsy to get married!!

3 months and you married him, WOW!!

Do what you feel is right!!  If you get out try not to  go back a 3rd time!

Answer 6

Move on.  Doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship to even work on.  

Answer 7

First off get yourself to a local Al-Anon meeting.  This may help you more than you know.  It sounds as if you may have issues yourself with confidence and self respect.  (Not a criticism mind you a lot of women do).  Work on yourself.  You will NOT be able to change him.  Make yourself happy work on figuring out why you are drawn to this type of relationship.  I can't tell you if you will ever be happy with him.  It depends on where he goes from here.  Alcoholism is a scary disease.  He could pull himself out and go right back down the road.  My suggestion is just to work on yourself and make that decision for yourself.

Answer 8

No, I don't think you will ever be happy with him.  He is an alcoholic.  

Answer 9

run fast!  

Answer 10

if you have to question your feelings, then you already have your answer. when you really love and want to be with some one you have no doubts.

Answer 11

well reading your question you haven't actually said one thing about when/if times were good for ye. Based on that I'd say leave him.

There's no shame in walking away if you know it's not right...wouldn't it be worse to lose years trying to make it work and just wind up miserable?

Answer 12

I think with a lot of work from BOTH sides things could work out and you could both be really happy...unfortunately it doesn't sound that he is all that willing and it doesn't sound that you really find it worth the effort. I think now is a good time to move on and realize the world never ended with him and you can find someone better out there.

Answer 13

Remember your vows and don't cheat with the other man.

Answer 14

sounds like u have no relationship and my advice is to move on

Answer 15

If you have to ask the questions, you already know the answer. He has problems bigger than you can solve. You would be better off alone and happy, then with him and miserable. Find your self out of this relationship. And find yourself again, get back in touch with you, not him. You can't change him, he can only change himself, if he wants to . So, off you go, find your own life. He is only telling you I love you, cause he is a sorry sap of a excuse of a man. You deserve better than that. Just be brave enough to go find it.

Answer 16

I think that until he sorts out his own issues he won't be the husband you need or deserve.

I think you might need to separate at least and see how you feel apart.