You hear your mother bursting with anger behind the door, what do you do?

Question

I have utter discomfort when this happens. I turn around and go in my room and pretend nothing's going on because it's none of my business. But overhearing arguments and people getting extremely upset makes me cringe so much.

..sometimes I panic, even if it has nothing to do with me....actually....how do I avoid this? These feelings stress me out for 2-3 days that I feel physically weak and can't focus on work....

Answer 1

aww hun im sorry.

im like this too.

and i still am

and ive been dealing with it since i was 3

the only thing you can really do is call someone when its happening to distract you

tune it out

or go see a therapist

ive been going to a therapist for about 4 years and i hate doing it but it helps a lot!!

but dont worry

things will get better and work out in the end

and im here if you ever need anything! :)

Answer 2

Go to the neighbors house and call the police, your parents need to know that you don't have to live like that.  You can go live with someone else where you don't have to live in fear.  This is obviously upsetting you and it is not good for you.  You are on your way to having post trumatic stress disorder

Answer 3

This happened to me frequently until I got married at age 18. I can look back now and see that I married so young just to get away from the constant drama between my parents.  Okay, that has nothing to do with your situation, but I just had to throw it in.

I grew up on a farm, so when I heard the squabbling I usually hid in the barn, up in the hay mow.  Usually took one of the barn cats up there with me, so I had something warm and alive to hug until the squabbling simmered down.  If I was trapped in the house with my parents, I walked past them to the back door to head for the barn.  

About all I can offer for advice is to try not to get involved.  Remember that what's going on between your mother and somebody else isn't your fault.  I spent years believing that if I was a better daughter, they wouldn't fight.  That's baloney, but it took me YEARS to get that thought out of my head.  I'm talking about until I was at least 40.  And, sad to say, when my mother died 2 years ago, I couldn't make myself feel sorry about it at all.  

If parents realized how they're messing up their kids' heads, I'd like to think they'd stop fighting.  However, two imperfect people, each with his or her own scars from the way they were raised, just pass on to their children all the screwed-up stuff their parents left them with.  What it all comes down to is that they're doing the best that they can, and they do love their children, even though it's sometimes hard to tell.