You or a close family member was/is diagnosed with cancer...and you/they are going through treatments now if?

Question

you kniew now what you knew then...what would you have changed or done differently?

The first diagnosis of cancer hits you like a brick wall and things happen so fast, now that you are in treatments..what would you have done diffeerently?

Would it be insisting on getting more inforrmation from the doctors, standing up for your rights more, insisting that the doctor do something?

Looking back, we know more now than we did when it all began...What's your story?

Answer 1

I would have taken my recovery more seriously  -  I had to have my sternum split open to remove tumors in my chest.  I was in excruciating pain until I was put on a pain patch.  Then I think I over did it.  I had a 5 month old baby at the time, and even though I had my mom's help for 2 months and barely did anything in that time, I couldn't stay away from holding him.  When I returned home I went right back to lifting laundry, rough housing with the baby, etc.

My sternum never healed and I'm in pain every single day.  After almost a year and a half, I have decided I need it repaired and can't live like this.  I will have to go through another excruciating surgery to do so.  

I would have rested more and accepted more help that was offered, if I could do it over.

Answer 2

I wish I would have followed my doc orders better.  I did lots of things I was advised not to, mainly centering around neutropenic restrictions.  I would have quit smoking from day 1 of my diagnosis and never started again (my cancer is a smoking related cancer and I was diagnosed again almost 2 years from my first)

I was relativly good from day 1 about asking questions and doing my own research.  I had watched my aunt and uncle go through this before, and I had watched how they handled the diagnosis and how my parents handled their parents serious diagnosis, so I knew what to do there.

I wish I would have went to see my psychologist regularly.  I was offered psychological services from day but refused.  When I did see them, it was not regularly.  I finally started seeing the regularly and it has helped a lot.  In turn, I wish I had participated more in the hospital patient/survivor suppoer groups.  I basically isolated myself from all but a handful of family members.  

Answer 3

I have no regrets as far as medical treatment goes, they were outstanding and wonderful to us . . but of course personally, I wish with all my heart I had listened to my son when he tried to tell me that something was wrong. He had multiple tumors in his abdomen . . and I never saw it . . not once. He asked me about feeling 'something' strange in his belly a few weeks before diagnosis, he said "Mom what is this in my stomach and he had me press the spot . . " and I didn't know what it was. I dismissed it . . not outright .  .but I didn't react fast enough. I told him it was probably one of his internal organs, like the liver or kidney or something. But I thought it was strange.  Who would have thought that a healthy 17 year old boy had tumors.  That the tumors were filling his abdominal cavity . . my God . . he had one the size of a volley ball . . and I didn't see it.

There are days that I regret not calling the doctor sooner . . how come I didn't know. I was his mother . . I should have known something was terribly wrong. How come I couldn't stop what happened to him. Why couldn't I protect him.

I did the best that I could and it wasn't good enough. Yeah . . I will live with that heartache . . that regret . . .  for the rest of my life.

Answer 4

You have probably already discovered this, but the first thing I wold do if i or a close one was Dx with cancer - I would join a support group. there is no better help than help from those who have been there.

I would become very pro-active.  I would learn all there is to know about the disease, treatment options, etc.

I would affront, even confront any physician who didn't seem to be telling the whole truth and/or exploring (with the patient) possible options and treatment paths.

If, at any time, I was not comfortable with the physician in terms of treatment, candidness, etc. I would quickly get a second opinion.  I probably would arrange consultation at Cancer Treatment Centers of America early on anyhow.

If and when all indications were that the person could not recover, I would very quickly contact the neqarest Hospice to explore their plans of treatment.

Answer 5

My dad had lung cancer and so did my father-in-law, both at the same time. My dad decided not to have chemotherapy or radiation and surgery was not an option. He refused to give up smoking and drinking and lived for 18 months after being diagnosed. My father-in-law took both chemotherapy and radiation, quit smoking, and only lived a few months longer than my dad, the chemotherapy and radiation treatments left him so sick and weak and really bought him very little time.

Answer 6

Wow, I could have written Inverse's answer myself.

I too would have gone to the doctor sooner with my breast lump; maybe it wouldn't have been so advanced if I had, maybe it wouldn't have spread to lymph nodes, or at least to so many - or maybe 6 months wouldn't have made any difference. I'll never know.

I know a h**l of a lot more about cancer now than I did then - more than I ever wanted to know. And one thing I know is that I was not responsible for my cancer, I did nothing to cause it.

I did demand information from my doctors, but they were happy to give it; I can't fault any of them.

Answer 7

I just would have seen a doctor sooner after discovering my lump. Maybe so it would not have spread to the nodes.

However, maybe it already had when I first discovered it.

No way to know.

But my docs, nurses, techs, etc. ... all have been the best. I have no complaints about the med team or any of their recommendations.  

Answer 8

I would have done nothing differently. I took high dosage of Interferon which destroyed my life for eleven months and the cancer came back. But I knew it was a gamble if it would be effective or not. The doctors were never an issue, they gave their informed opinions I went home and researched and everything appeared above board.

The only regret is that I did not push an appointment with the dermantologist harder, I waited for approx two months before I just showed up and made it almost impossible for them not to see me.