You wanted me to ask again....SAHM's???

Question

i asked a question very similar to this one months ago when i was pregnant and people told me to "ask this again when the twins are born"...so here it goes--

why is it that (SOME) SAHM's instist on telling people they have the hardest job in the world? now before you say anything i stay home with a 3 year old and 3 month old twins. im not just a mom with a full time job downing SAHM's...im a SAHM downing the SAHM's who act like they have it so rough. in my opinion we have it so much better than working moms. we get to stay home with our babies and dont miss a minute we dont want to miss. i have such sympathy for moms who have no choice but to work. i use to be one of them and i know how it feels to leave your baby 40+ hours week. i dont think there is a mom out there that wants to do that. and as a SAHM...yes you have house chores and errands to run...but working moms still have all that stuff to do on top of the full time job. some people have told me that its the lack of.....cont.

Answer 1

I've never said I had the hardest job in the world.I do know when I did work my husband helped me a lot.so,no I didnt work and come home to do everything I would had I not worked.We have a family...when I worked my husband helped me.I did sometimes feel rushed but heck I do now when I have so much to do and not enough hours to do it in.

He works very hard..at an automotive plant in the weld dept and will sometimes STILL help me.He's the type that if he sees something that needs to be done..he does it.I never have asked him to bathe the kids,or change a diaper..he just does it.So yeah.....Im a lucky one imo.

I think some people mean that say raising kids "is the hardest thing you'll ever do.." because it is non stop.We dont get 30 mins for lunch or two 15 min breaks we go from the time we get up till the time we go to bed.We put up with all the things that kids do.....like my 7 yr old son who is never happy unless the baby...5 is crying....theyre always fighting.He wont let her touch anything in his room.Hes goes in her room and wont let her touch anything of hers...constantly bickering.

The 9 yr old wont let either in her room because "they make a mess" but yet she does the same in their room and doesnt want to clean it up.

Not to mention the day my son decided to "work" on my van....[whole nother topic] and the day he poured paint out in the basement floor,and lets not forget the day he unplugged the a/c pump in the basement and it wasnt pumping out water....except of course in the basement floor..which got FLOODED.

Lets see then stuck a nail in a wall socket....Oh I can go on and on. He's very sneaky,ALL BOY,but very loving.Honestly to my husband and I he just amazes us....of course I hated mopping up gallons upon gallons of water and setting fans out when he flooded the basement...we laugh about it now.There is difentely NEVER a dull moment around here.But I wouldnt change my job for the world.We went thru 9 yrs of infertility...my 1st I got pg at 16 and couldnt get pg again.When we finally found out I had PCOS I took clomid...My kids are and were always very much wanted [as most kids are].

Some people say to me " I could never stay home ALL day and do NOTHING.." I just laugh and say "me either"

Some think SAHM's sit around allday watching soaps and do nothing.....not this one.I dont watch that c**p...

I dont spend ALL my time online.Im off and on allday.

I have taught my kids when they get in the morning they are to be quiet.They can all make their own cereal,waffles,poptarts etc....then they go back to their rooms and play and watch tv....or play school since school is out [i think they miss it lol]

And you may think since my oldest is 18 "shes a huge help" NOT....She washes dishes,sweeps the kitchen floor everynight,folds some clothes [family of 6 ..im always washing] and keeps their bathroom clean.I can pick up at a moments notice and say "Ive got to run to the store..." and she watches the little ones.but NO she doesnt raise them.

Shes never here alone with them more than a few hrs.Maybe a little more when someones in the hosp..that type stuff.Other than that..shes plain out LAZY! What she does do I have to tell her to do.She graduated May 07 and hasnt done nothing but sit at home [again...a whole other story].

I do get bored sometimes at home but with  a 3800 sq ft house i have PLENTY to do.I dont know of playgroups around here and honestly Im not one to just go meet strangers [more power to you if you do].We have a park I can carry my kids to.

Anyways..my point is...[or do I have one lol] I dont think sahm's have it rough.I like doing things when I want to.If I dont wanna do laundry oneday..then I dont..yeah w/ 6 people the next will take allday to catch up but thats what I chose to do..no biggie.

Yes,I do stay busy.I do have meals ready etc. IMO....the defintion of "the hardest job in the world" means...guiding and raising your children to be the best they can be.Their up bringing reflects back on the parents.We as parents want our kids to have more than we did,to be more successful,make more money,have it easier.We have to teach them that school is very important [and not be like thier mom who dropped out at 16 and pg] to do well in school,to behave,to tell them they can do anything they want to as long as they set their minds to do it and do it well.Life is not a free ride.What my husband and I have today we worked very hard for.Even though we married young [16 and 18],had kids young,we have a lot more than ppl our age who went to college..why?! because they chose to blow their money while living w/mommy and daddy till they were 30 and woke up oneday thinking "wtf did I do w/my life"

No one ...and I do mean NO ONE we went to school with who got married out of highschool is still married...at least not to the same person.Some have been married 3-4 times.

Heck even my sister is almost on her 4th marriage....she has 3 kids by 3 different men and she's just 2 yrs younger than I am (im 35,shes 33]. We work at our marriage and work for what we have.We dont say "I cant do that" or "we can never have that" I never thought,yrs ago,because we got married so young,Id be living where I am.in this house and owning what we own.But hard work,saving etc has got us these things.

I wouldnt say SAHM have the worst job...we have the BEST job!! I wouldnt trade what Ive went thru w/my kids with anyone.I agree...some women have to work,they have to send their kids to babysitters and daycares..and thats fine.If I HAD to work I would.But to see my kids do all their "firsts" Im glad I seen them do it and not someone else.

I think it would break my heart if they were in daycare and someone said "omg you'll never believe..he/she walked today" or "said dada or mama.." Im glad *I* got to see those things.Some women dont and I feel bad for them cuz I know they want to but just not in the situation to do so.

I  dont down working moms...and I dont think SAHM's are better off or worse off.We're all still parents....Im sure theirs working moms out there who dont get help from their spouses,well in fact I know some dont..and have to work 8-9 hrs a day and come home and do laundry,homework,cook,clean etc...I feel bad for them. Id also be b**ching my husband out if he didnt help me LOL!!!!!

Ok now its taken me since I first got the email that you posted this till now to finish it.....kids wont leave me alone,had to switch over laundry and break up a few fights lol...

NOW...more laundry to go seperate and get ready for my 3rd load....only 2 more to go today....[im putting off 2 lol....i have to cook soon...]

Answer 2

I love being able to stay at home with my children... I would like to get out sometime as well... It's hard though with my 4 year old having a disability...  and now I am going to have twins... If I went to work I'd just be working to buy gas and pay daycare.. lol.. I would much rather take care of my own children... Sometimes I get stressed out... but that is because of my husband.. and him not having any compassion... I don't envy any mom that has to go out and work and miss that time their child is growing up though... God bless all moms.... working... stay at home... etc...  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚™Â¥

Answer 3

I totally agree with you. I get up earlier than my husband, get our son ready for school and myself ready for work, then I drive across town, drop him off at day care, drive back across town to my job. Eight hours later, its back across town, pick up son, grocery's then home, start load of laundry, put away grocerys, all while cleaning up the house from the morning rush, put son in bath tub, start cooking dinner, get son out of bath husband gets home, serve dinner clean up dinner mess, put son to bed, fold and put away laundry, take shower lay down and wonder how I am going to do this with two babys!!! Its like a 16 hour day every day!!

Answer 4

I TOTALLY agree with you!! We (SAHMs) have it easy!

Answer 5

I am a SAHM and although I can see where some may say it's harder and other may say it's easier is a matter of opinion.

I only have 1 child, my day is just like yours. Starts at 6, ends at 11.

I think that most SAHM have the burden of the house load. Meaning, their significant goes to work, comes home, wants food, s*x, and sleep. (I am not saying all, I am just saying some)

Yet, the working mother, has a signifigant other who also goes to work, so they share the at home work load more often then not. (so they are not doing ALL of the housework!)

So, I can see where some SAHM's may say their job is harder because of the fact that they don't get the help at home that a WM would. Just my opinion though.

Yet, the mother's who have the HARDEST jobs are SINGLE WORKING MOTHER'S. Like my mother was. She worked 40+ hours a week, had to come home to cook dinner, clean the house and take care of me and my sister. With no help from anyone.

So, I think while both working mothers and SAHM's have their share of "hard" when it comes to the job, personally I think it is the Single Working Mother that has it hardest of all.

Just my opinion.

Answer 6

Well lets give you a reward for mother of the year (gag me)!!!

Answer 7

I really agree with you.  Yes, it's so true that its a demanding and tiring job, but honestly, would any sahm really change it for the world?  I guess some miss their careers, etc., but I just feel that being able to be the one to raise your own has to be the best job ever.  That's just me :)

Answer 8

I have a 7 month old baby. and have been bck at work for 4 months.

I was entitled to my full year but I only got 3 Months, WHY?Becase the mayor of our city decided (just cuz he was arrested with DUI) he wants to get rid of the KPS (Kenora Police Service) And Have OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) Police our city instead [1 word A$$] . So I had to go back to work 9 months early AND we had to file bankrupcy, we lost our veichle (was old and too much to repair.)  and cant afford a new one now, My son is sick and we cant afford meds. Our grocery budget is ONLY $70 a month, MY hours at work were cut 11/ week at $8.87/ hour.

How do you think i feel!!!.

Answer 9

I agree, I love staying home with my kids and am thankful that I'm able to do it.  I also have a husband who appreciates the work I do at home and tells me so often.

Some SAHM's don't get any thanks for the work they do and I think that's when what you're talking about happens.  When you have a job outside the home you get some validation for what you do, SAHM's don't always get that so they feel the need to tout themselves I guess because someone has to.  Young kids can't really give you cheers for taking care of them and if your husband doesn't I can see where some women can easily feel unappreciated.

Answer 10

I am a SAHM of 2 young children and I wonder this same thing, even when they were infants.  Some days are more busy than other and some days they drive me crazy more than others but I've never really deemed my situation "too hard to handle" or "whoa is me, look at all that I do."  I love spending this time with my children and those who SAH (or working mom too) but whine about it probably didn't fully prepare themselves for the reality of parenthood *before* they got pg.

I do indeed think working mothers have more stress.  I couldn't imagine trying to get the whole crew of us dressed, fed, and clean and out the door by 7am and all of us be *happy*.  And then come home and try and prepare a meal and have quality time.  Now that is too much stress that I wouldn't be able to handle.

Answer 11

I didnt answer your question last time, but I DO think that my SAHM thing is hard, only because I tend to get aggrivated alot at my kids because they fight all day and I am constantly telling and fussing at them. They are 4 years, 2 years, and 8 months old. I had a regular job when my two year old was a few months old and I LOVED it. It was so refreshing to go to work everyday and know that I was #1, getting paid and #2 no one was screaming at me to wipe their butt (lol potty training) and I was able to talk to actual adults w/o having to stop after every sentence to referee my kids. And then shortly before I got pregnant with my baby I worked with my husband and it was nice too because I got to be with him all day and we got to be just husband and wife and talk and stuff and we were alot less angry and not telling the other one to do something with the kids fighting. I am trying to get my husband to let me go back to work but he is against it. I am very lonely (we only have one car) and I never get to go anywhere, I cant do anything fun and on top of all of this my husband is a neat freak and the house is NEVER clean enough for him and I am constantly being told how I need to do more around the house and when I was working, ANYTHING i did around the house such as cleaning up and stuff he appreciated, Now he hasnt even noticed the work I do around here. I feel very unappreciated as a SAHM and I would LOVE to get a paying job and get out of the house!

Answer 12

Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. I am currently at home with my two children who are 13 months and 3½ and I will gladly tell anyone who will listen that I personally believe it is the hardest job I have ever done. Hey, you might not think it is, but you have no right to judge other women! I wouldn't dream of judging you for wanting to be mum of the year, so why don't you afford us women who find staying at home tough the same courtesy??

Answer 13

I love being a stay-at-home-mom! It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. And believe me, there are moms out there who want to work 40 + hours a week. I know a few. We do have a tough "job", but if we are taking the responsibility of s*x, being in a marriage, and taking care of our homes, then we should be more than willing to take care of our kids. I don't just stay at home with mine. I homeschool them. They are so much fun to be around, and we get to go out and play with other homeschoolers. I absolutely love the freedom this gives me, and I never talk about it like it's a burden. I think all SAHM's should feel blessed!!

Answer 14

Some SAHM's act this way because that is their personality.  They would most likely act the same way (martyr-ish) if they worked outside the home too.  

I think it's sad.  Motherhood itself is a hard job, whether you work outside the home or not.  It shouldn't be a contest over "who has it tougher".

Answer 15

SAHM's are just doing what they are put on earth to do!  Raising kids and taking care of the home is THE most important job for a woman.

Answer 16

I wish I could be a sahm, but I have to go back to work in August.  I am acting like one now since I'm still on disability and it is not so bad.  I think its great to spend all those precious moments with my children.  Cleaning and cooking I do anyway even when I work full time.  It's going to be much harder when I go back to work.  This job is easier than any full time job I've ever had.  I'm actually less tired and sometimes feel like I'm being kind of lazy, but then I'm used to working two jobs.  Now being pregnant with twins that is a different story :) - I didn't like that too much, that is because I'm used to working and I was only allowed to sit on my butt, my mind went crazy.