Young College educated couple looking to adopt, how can we go through this process without spending 25-20,000?

Question

Hello all you brave girls. If any of you are thinking of adoption please email me. My husband and I are looking for another bundle of joy to add to our lives. We have a 3yr old princess who is very much spoiled. We would like to share our love and our home. My husband is a top car salesman and I am a Family Counselor that works with children and families daily. We are in no means rich but we are comfortable and feel that we could support one or two more children. We feel that there should be no shame in this process if you choose to help us in our quest. Please contact us. We will not pressure you. We will work within your terms.

We hope to hear from you and thanks and God Bless you all.

[e-mail]

Answer 1

Just a warning. If you find a girl and pay her expenses along the way and she changes her mind, you are out this money. This does happen with independent adoptions. In Pennsylvania the girl has up to 6 months to change her mind after birth. They do not have to repay you and there are very specific laws about how much money you can pay them and for what. If you would break these laws, they would take the baby and you could potentially end up in jail. Perhaps using an agency would be cheaper in the long run.

Answer 2

cheapest way to go is to adopt out of the foster care system

Answer 3

If you cannot afford to adopt, you cannot afford a child and you  should know this.. you said you have a child of your own who is spoiled???

The way to get a "cheap" baby... so sick... is to get a multiracial, drug born foster baby no one wants or cares about.

Sounds bad, but that is the fact of the matter and i am being quite honest.

Answer 4

I think you will attract a birthmother more by talking of how deeply you are able and open to provide a loving home to their child rather than opening with your education and your spending limit. Also, just so you know -- if you do not use an agency, in order to save money (which I totally empathize with) you may end up spending at least as much in the long run to actually get a baby. Without an agency, a birhtmother is allowed to accept money from you for her expenses and keep the money even if she changes her mind after the birth of the baby (which is totally acceptable and to be expected sometimes) and after you have paid her hospital bills. If you have to do this a couple of times, you will already be spending more money than an agency will cost. It's good to see that you have written that you "wil not pressure" the women, because it is against the law to do so.

Answer 5

Adoption is a complex process and really requires intensive

thought before pursuing it.

That being said, there are numerous ways to adopt. My number one recommendation is to go through your local state system. Why? Because there are literally thousands of children waiting for a home and new ones are entered into the system everyday from newborns to teenagers. The state works to find the right match for your family, helps with expenses, and is nearly 100% protected by the courts.

Unlike domestic adoptions which can end up costing thousands and the birth mother (or father) can contest or change their minds as late as two to three weeks after placement even if papers have been signed. Also, the biological families of either bio parent can contest and fight to have the child placed with them before being placed with a family outside the biological group.

The alternative is foreign adoption. Costs for foreign adoption range from $5K to more than $35-$40K depending on the country. It's best to find an agency that specializes in foreign adoption to get the criteria and rates and steps to take so you can prepare.

I understand being concerned about fees. When you have a biological child, the baby is normally covered under your health insurance from conception (your pregnancy and then onward) AND you have 9 months to plan for and prepare for the baby. With adoption, it can happen anywhere from a few months to more than a year and those fees are usually due up front and in bulk.

Paying for adoption CANNOT be compared to raising a child. Many people can afford to raise a child but can't come up with $25K at one time. Anyone who has raised children or who currently has children knows that the money needed to raise a child is spread out over the course of the child's lifetime and the needs are incorporated in the family. Adoption fees are not.

I wish you and your family the best and hope you make the decision that is best for your family. Please keep in mind that when searching for a baby/child to adopt, the internet is full of scammers waiting to take your money and break your heart. Get a reputable agency and a lawyer (with references) who specializes in domestic adoption.

Otherwise, please give serious thought to your local state agency. Adoptive families are desperately needed.

Best of luck!

Answer 6

The first thing you DON"T want to do is start complaining about how you don't want to spend the money. No one will take you seriously, OR give up their little infant to someone for free.... Why don't you try fostering a child instead if you can't afford adoption?

Answer 7

Marcy had lots of great advice.

I'd also like to add that we did our two domestic adoptions with a non-profit agency.  Their fees are based on our income and the total for both of our adoptions was less than the number you quoted.  I suggest you find a local agency to begin your homestudy and, if you're interested, they can help match you with a potential birthmother.

Also, don't assume that adopting independently is the less expensive route.  If the birthmother's medical expenses are not covered by insurance or the adoption ends up being contested by the birthfather, you could potentially be out a lot of money.

We also claimed the adoption tax credit on our income tax and will be reimbursed almost all of the expenses.

Answer 8

Go to your State Adoption Agency. You pay a minimum amount of money, there is a LOT of children waiting to be adopted. And you get financial assistance when you adopt, such as medical insurance.

We adopted our baby, now age 16, thru a state agency.

Answer 9

Have you completed a homestudy? That is your first step. After that, register with DSHS. Adopting a child out of the foster care system is very inexpensive and in many cases you will receive a montly stipend for the child. Contrary to beleif there are often children born into the foster care system so you can have a young child. Also look into the tax reimbursment for adoption, as well as any adoption-credits your work may have.

Answer 10

First of all, soliciting a birthmother while saying you don't want to "spend more than" $25,000 is really inappropriate!

Please do not solicit for a baby on the internet.  It is crass, dangerous for all concerned, and really demeans the private and fragile decision for adoption.

Do not encourage a young woman to place her baby with a total stranger who may be a criminal, a pedophile or an abuser.  She may not place with you, but MAY place with one of them!  Do not perpetrate this dangerous practice!

If you are a sincere, well meaning couple who sincerely wants to adopt -- do it the ethical way like everyone else.  Get a homestudy so at least you are approved to even start looking into adoption, then go through an agency or attorney who can oversee the process and make sure no one is getting taken of advantage of.  The money is for a reason -- who is going to pay for counseling, attorneys, housing, medical care, hospital care, termination hearings, diligent searches for the birthfather, etc.?  Adoptive parents who want their child's birthmother to have these services, that's who.

Answer 11

There are lots of agencies out there with hundreds of kids waiting to be adopted. In cases like these most of the time you won't have to pay to adopt. First person said it best.

Answer 12

just wanted to say - best of luck to you