Young couple expecting first child. Any advice on handling stress, anxiety of new life responsibilities?

Question

This question comes from new to be grandparents.

Answer 1

Yes - spend time reading books on child rearing and baby rearing - don't panic so much about the birth as it's over with relatively quickly.  Accept help from everyone that offers- whether it's cleaning the home, minding baby while you sleep or go out, making you a meal or just a cuppa!  Don't be too proud to ask for help!  If you feel overwhelmed, find help through friends, family, child health nurse or child health clinic.  Watch out for post natal depression.  Work out your budget before baby comes - how is the rent/mortage going to be paid, do you need to cut back on some things to tighten the belt?  Don't wait til baby comes!  While you are both (hopefully!) working, buy nappies, wipes, formula (if needed) and things like that so that when baby comes, you have things that will last you for a while.  When you have gotten through the first few difficult weeks, ensure you make time for each other as a couple.  Just go for walks together, watch a movie on TV, and TALK.  It's so hard to keep the relationship between a new mum and dad on track when you are focussed on a new baby.  Join mothers' groups, playgroups, etc, and meet new parents in your local area so you have heaps of support and friends.  Relax.  No one's perfect, and most people do the best job they can.  Good luck!

Answer 2

Like the advice they give alcoholics:  take one day at a time.  work as a team.  i think thats easier.  even with diaper changes.  I have my husband hold the legs, maybe even lift them while I wash and wipe.  I hope, as with all new parents that they have a good support team.

Forget house cleaning, laundrey, washing dishes.  for a while i ate off paper plates, often it was just paper towels (if i was lucky).  I think, above all, sleep is soooooooooo important.  Even an hour nap, if nothing else is helpful.  For new parents it comes so sporatically, and RARELY!

I also suggest making foods ahead of time and freezing portions.  Soups, stews, cassaroles.  Spaghetti sauce, beef stew, for ex.  Load up of frozen food and canned and dry items.  It is such a pain to even have to run out for groceries.  You don't get enough sleep and then you have to go out and pick up food?  ugh.  That involves possibly looking half decent in public.

If anyone offers help, take it.  If anyone offers to babysit, even if its just so they can take a shower in peace, take up that offer.  With my first baby I refused to accept any help.  I wanted to be supermom.  I was so overstressed and exhausted and I cried probably for the first three months of my babies life.  With my second baby, if anone said "If there's anything I can do to hel-" I already said "Yes!".  As a result I was a happier person.  Therefore everyone was happier.

You never know when you'll be able to sleep next!

Oh, and if the baby is crying, and you've tried everything, its not hungry, you cuddled, you rocked, changed the diaper, burped, walked, played with, etc- and the baby insists on crying and won't stop, there is nothing wrong with putting the baby down in his crib, where its safe... then close the door and go to where you can't hear the crying.  Its so aweful.  they just cry and it really wears at your nerves.  And if they feel so frustrated and need to talk, they should.  call someone, a friend, a grandparent, anyone.  chances are lots of people understand.  they've been through something similar at one point in their life.

good luck!!

Answer 3

RELAX lol, hard i know but its the best thing ya can do....im 23, just got married, got 5 month old daughter and new house....alot of responsibilities....yes you will have money troubles, and yes theres stress of the little one, but think of it like i do, getting stressed over money isnt going to make anymore magically appear, make the most of what you got,it will make you appreciate the smaller things more, having a baby is the HARDEST thing iv ever done in my life, but its also the best. I have times where i think ''why did i do this'' but you realize why when you look back and see exactly what you got. You will experience alot in the first few months of your childs life, but cherish it, dont let stress ruin it, its time you wont get back....good luck with your new baby and congrats, hope this made sense to ya x*x

Answer 4

Yes! Read "Baby proofing your marriage"  by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neil and Julia Stone. It's a fun, great read about anything and everything that you might run into being new parents. I read it twice and then recommended it to everyone who was pregnant or thinking about kids! Personal advice - just be very patient. New parents aren't going to know what to do all the time. Good communication is key! Good luck!

Answer 5

im 24 and my husband is 29.  we have a 10 month old boy. my advise would be this. They need to support each other. if dad is not doing something the way that mom would do it tell her not to correct him unless it is going to hurt the baby. i found myself telling my husband he wasn't doing it right just because he wasn't doing it the way i did it and i think it made him not want to try again. Try making it 50/50.  

Answer 6

relax, dont worrytoo much about it. what to expect when youre expecting is a great book and it talks about your relationship as well as caring for baby. once baby is here, make sure to get out of the house once a week-even if only for an hour. having alone time together is very important. most hospitals also offer parenting classes. i did it with my first child and it taught me so much about the pregnancy and all about caring for my newborn! congrats to being new grandparents, hope this can help your family!

Answer 7

read Baby Whisperer ... great book to happy parents and happy baby's!!  try making it 100% 100% not 50 50!!!!