Young mums please answer!?

Question

Now I'm sick of people being so rude to young mothers (most of whom do an excellent job). I was a teen mum once and don't regret it one bit but it doesn't mean to say I encourage other teens to go out and have babies. What really annoys me is that people are always saying things like 'if you have a baby at 16 it will destroy your life and the babies life!' What do you reckon?

Answer 1

i know right? im 19 and i get critsized all the time for being a single mother because the father isent around. if my mother did fine with me im sure i will do fine.

Answer 2

yeah im sick of it too!

Im 19 and i have a baby who i love and look after very well he has all he needs.

Sometimes when i give somebody advice about babies and i tell them how old i am there like ohh not listening to you.

It dosnt matter how old you are when you have a baby just as long as you can support them.

Because somebody who has a baby for the first time at 17 and somebody who has a baby for the first time at 35 is going through the same proccess the same kind of feeling and when the baby is born they both have no experience so i dont see the diffrence.

Its not the age that matters its the personality and how you choose to care for your baby.

And they dont ruin lives they make them a lot more magical!

Answer 3

I completely agree. My life was a complete mess when I first fell pregnant and I can say with 100% honesty that it changed my life, my son saved me from all of the bad things I was getting up to. It also made me a much better person. Although I wouldn't tell people to plan and get pregnant at such a young age, because I know that its hard.

Answer 4

You know, I'm not a young mother (obviously), but I am the father of a five year old girl whose mother got pregnant at age fifteen.  I can say with absolute certainty that having a child at a young age means having to give up your own childhood in the process.  My wife is always saying that she missed out on a lot since she had a child as a teenager, but wouldn't change things for one moment.  You need to give up being a teenager, and all that entails, and become an adult immediately in order for any of it to work.

As far as ruining yours or the babies' life, it's all in how you live.  There are a lot of teen mothers out there who try to continue to live their lives as if they don't have a child, and throw their child to the grandparents.  That's definitely a good way to live the stereotype.  My wife completed high school, and is currently attending college in hopes of becoming a nurse.  It's difficult with both of our schedules, but we have a strong support structure.  Things are much easier that way.  As long as you set your goals in life, and take steps to achieve them, I really don't see any difference in someone who's had a baby as a teenager or having a baby as an adult.  Heck, some of the worst mothers I've seen had children when they were in a more stable point in their life.  All those people who say things like that apparently never met a responsible teen mother.

Answer 5

I really dont see why people judge young teen mothers.it was okay to have kids at 17 in the olden days but now it classified a bad thing if you do it now! i dont get it.

Answer 6

it does annoy me that people stereotype so much and feel they have to judge when they know nothing about the person. i agree about people saying it will destroy your life, its one of the biggest lies they can tell because a baby makes your life worth living not worse, although i guess it does depend on each personal situation. im 19 and pregnant with my first i will be 20 when its born, and i dont for one minute think i will struggle because of my age, me and my boyfriend can provide for our baby and do a great job, so if people want to assume otherwise then thats their problem. i wouldnt encourage people to have kids young, its better to live a bit first, but if they do then its no big deal it will just make their life more worthwhile and it was just meant to be. its pathetic when other mums feel the need to ***** about younger mums, they should be concentrating more on their own children than other peoples. there are other people out there much worse off, a lot of the time they could be older mums aswell. people need to get over the whole teen mum thing, it will never stop and why should it as long as they can provide for their child. im proud that i will be a younger mum and it was definatly the right time as i was told i wouldnt ever get to have kids but after one month of trying i fell pregnant, so for those who just assume younger mums pop out kids like theres no tomorrow and live off benefits, they are wrong, not everyone is like that.

Answer 7

i am 21 with a 2 yr old boy and a 6 month old girl. haveing kids young is so complicated. on one hand i love them and wouldn't change a thing, but honestly every so often i think wow most girls my age of going out and hanging with friends all night. just little things like that get to me sometimes i feel like i'm missing out but then i remember most of those girls want what i have a good man and a family.  they don't destroy your life --they do make it complicated and yet fulfilling if you are willing and able to accomidate them. no partying, not leaveing the house at the drop of a hat, no extra spending money (unless you have a really good job) they come first period.oh and if your still in school do your kid and yourself a favor and finish it really does matter out here in the real world. if you can handle that then thats all that really matters

in my own experiences every day i get stared at esp at the store even though my kids are always great i look like a 15 mabe 16 year old pushing them around, when we go to the park people assume i'm the babysitter it embarassing. luckily you can't throw a stick in sacramento without hitting another young mom in the head but  its still shocking how alot of rude people assume i'm one of "those" teen moms, you know the druggies from abused homes who can't keep their legs shut and don't know who any of the fathers are. so random people, you don't know me, you don't know my situation and its none of your buisness i don't have to explain myself to you just to try and save face, so shut up look away and keep you little comments to yourself. unless you see me light up a crack pipe or if i have track marks you have no right to judge me as a mother and butt into my life.

Answer 8

heyy im 18 and im prego i dont get why they say it either just as long as ur ready money wise and mind wise ull be okay

Answer 9

it annoys me too. tho i havnt had my baby yet tho i get rude people say that i have stuffed up my life and they dont even know me.

i was on the pill and i use a condom what more do they want i cant help it if my body was stonger then then pill.

and i hate the fact that they dont know my personality and who i am.

i've been around babies since i was baby.

my life is all about kids.

i'm at tafe to become a chilkd care worker then to be a midwife.

just because i'm pregnant donest mean the things i want to do dont happen.

i think people like that should just keep their opions to them selfs.

Answer 10

I think the better age to have a child is 22 because the mom is young and mature. I'm 23.

Answer 11

Most people only say things like that because they're more scared than you about conceiving at such an early age. I only got preggiez last yr at 25 and I'm one of those that has a go at teen moms, not because i get kicks out of it but because I care and I'm genuinely concerned because I know what a huge responsibility  financially, emotionally and mentally) children are. Most cases I know of I¬ know of teen moms usually ends up being the single moms scenario which I imagine would be awful, which is why  my finance works from home  because it's such a daunting reality that children are hard work (24/7 job)

Answer 12

i really believe young mums get a raw deal. i am 29 and have 3 children. my mums next door neighbour got pregnant at the age of 15 and she was more concerned about what people would say rather than how she would cope. i remember having a conversation with her where i pointed out that even though she wouldnt be able have a teenage life - she would still be young enough when her baby started school to go back to college and restart her education. now 2 yrs later, that is what she is planning to do and she is a fab fab mum. not everyone gets pregnant to get a house and live on benefits like society seems to think these days.