Younger cousin has asperger syndrome and is afraid to get a haircut?

Question

My cousin was diagnosed with asperger syndrome when she was very young and has always had problems with getting haircuts. She is now 18 years old and has probobly only had 4 haircuts in her entire life. The last haircut she had she was about 13 and over the past 5 yrs her hair has just gotten so long and crazy that my aunt is starting to lose it with her. My aunt has been trying to force her to cut her hair and its just making my cousin more scared. I haven't been forcing my cousin to get her hair cut but I have been trying really hard to get her to get a haircut but she is very nervous. What can I do? why is she so scared to cut her hair

Answer 1

Have you tried asking HER why she is so scared and nervous about getting a haircut? She is the one who knows the real answer, the rest of us can only make guesses.

Does she have some sensory issues that might make it a bad experience for her to go to the hairdresser? Maybe she feels overwhelmed by the noise, lights, smell or touch. If that is the case, maybe she would feel better if you could get someone to cut her hair at home in a better environment for her.

Maybe she really wants to keep her hair long and doesn't like being pressured to cut it against her will. I used to be really reluctant to get haircuts, because I wanted my hair to be long. I would only agree on bad ends being cut off, so my hair was not shortened much. Once a hairdresser misunderstood me and cut my hair much shorter than I wanted and I got angry and shocked, cried my eyes out for a couple of hours and hid my hair for a few days afterwards, because I thought it was terrible and I was really unhappy about her "ruining" my hair like that. If she really wants to keep her hair long nobody should force her into getting it cut, but maybe you could negotiate with her about a moderate haircut and tell her it's for the sake of keeping her hair looking healthy.

Answer 2

Hi,

I have a really mild form of asperger's syndrome. Try not to force her to have her hair cut, just gently remind her and say she will look twice as beautiful as she does now. The reason she doesn't like her hair cut could be for a number of reasons. Maybe she is scared that she will get cut or Maybe she doesn't like her hairdresser. You could ask her what is the matter and see what she says. If she still doesn't want a haircut, say to her If you get a haircut you can come with me and do your favorite thing (for example, Go to the movies, Eat chocolate.. etc)

Good luck,

Hope this has helped.

EDIT: Undir, I completely understand what you mean! When I was little I wanted to keep my hair long and I went to the hairdressers to get a little bit of the ends cut off and my mom whispered to the hair dresser to cut it really short. I cried my eyes out for days and I refused to go to school!

Answer 3

My 14 yr. old daughter has Asperger's syndrome and  she had a lot of phobias. She was afraid to go out the door becase moths were by the outside light.

Take her to a stylist and let her watch othe people get their hair cut, let her see that it doesn't hurt. Counseling and medication can sometimes help alleviate the irrational fears that these children have.

You might want to find an Autism group in your area, perhaps there are other children that went through the same thing and can give you advice.