Younger sister's preg, don't know how to cope.

Question

My younger sister (18 yr) recently came to live with me and my husband and just found out she's preg and getting an abortion. I've always been oppose to this solution because I believe everyone should own up to their responsibiltiy and who has the right to take a life!!!

Well, I am having a really really hard time coping with this because I've already fell in love with this baby in her tummy. She is scheduled to get the abortion this saturday and I am doing everything I can to prevent it. My parents doesn't know anything and I am not planning on being the one to tell them either. How the heck do I deal with this? It's tearing me up inside and out and all I ever think about is how this child never even had a chance to live.

I understand that it's her choice and she's going to have to live with it, but I don't want her to live regreting her decision either. Everyone that I know of that have done this has regreted it and I don't want her to live like this. She wouldn't give her baby up for adoption and she she says she's too young to have the baby. I just can't shake the thought of knowing that my niece or nephew's life is ending this weekend =(

Answer 1

wow, Well frist your right it is your sisters decesion.  but i can see where your comming from. i dont believe in abortion in any cercemstance, but everyone has there own opionion and choice. have you tried talking to her, telling her excatly how you feel maybe have someone talk to to her about the experence and living with the fact that they aborted there child? maybe that would help, i really dont know how to help you cope i know in canada they have support groups for that very thing, i wish you the best of luck, and hopefully everything will turn out okay.

Answer 2

Everyone deals with these situations differently but I think you have to step back and realize that this is her decision and only hers.  You don't want her to have a baby and regret her child, do you? I am pretty sure she has thought about this and she is making the right decision for her.  All you can do is love her.

Answer 3

You are correct. It is her decision, you should try sitting her down, telling her exactly how you feel. You should also ask yourself if she was to carry the baby what is next? Is she going to raise the baby, is she capable of raising a baby, are you going to raise the baby. It is a big deal. She one day will most likely regret or at least wonder about this decision. My parents made me have one when I was 17. I was to stupid to know there were other options and help available to me. I have two beautiful boys and am having twins any day and there is not a moment of everyday when I look at my kids I don't wonder, and feel down and depressed that I could not stand up to my parents. Good luck.

Answer 4

I suggest you keep talking to her about it, and tell her your willing to help her raise the baby if she gets her act together by going to college etc. Overall people are capable of doing it, I've known people that have had babies at horrible times in their lives but have still gotten so much good done in spite of the baby. If it still doesn't work just be supportive with her, because your right, it will definately hurt her in the long run.

Answer 5

I was 19 when i found out that I was pregnant with my first child.  The thought of abortion never crossed my mind.  Would she have the baby and let you raise it.  You say that you are already attached to it.  ?That way she will be able to see the child and she can trust who is raising it.  You need to find away to get through to her that the abortion is not the answer and she WILL regret it.  Your parents need to know and she need to be the one to tell them.  They maybe disappointed but trust me they will love that baby more than anything.  my parents were dissappointed but they got used to it and they totally spoil bot of my kids.  She needs to know that abortions do not feel good they do hurt a very close friend of mine had one and she said that it was the worst pain ever.  

Answer 6

ok listen im christain and in the bible it says not to kill another human and even if she doesnt kill the baby wit her own hands she is the one making the desion to end it life so its bloods is in her hands so she can go to h**l and another thing the abortion does not need to happen u can adopt the baby give that idea to ure sis so u may help save a two lifes ure sisters and her baby

Answer 7

I sympathize with you. Yet I think that your sister may be 'owning up to the responsibility' in her mind and doing what she thinks is the only solution given her circumstances. If you want to help her, you could tell her that you will foot the bill for her to seek counseling and even though you want to support her by helping her raise the baby, you will respect any decision she makes after she can talk it through with a third party who can help her sort out her feelings. If she is so immature that she uses counseling to seek justification for her abortion but just wants a professional therapist to approve, then so be it. She's just as likely to stay that immature for years and years.If she takes advantage of a non-judgemental ear to tell her feelings and her story, and she reconsiders, she can still use your support and doesn't need criticism. She is the person who has to live with herself and she will.  You can allow a more skillful person to talk to her as long as she needs to talk. But in the meantime, you have to back off and realize you can only do so much in shouldering another's private angst.

Answer 8

show her this question, it would have turned ME around, if i was her.

Answer 9

talk to her tell her everything u feel ... this may not stop her but remember this is even harder for her so all u can do is put urself in her shoes, love and support her

Answer 10

Yeah I know how you feel but take your sister to get some birth control so she never has to face this decision again. She is too young to have a baby and you are going to have to put your personal views asise and give her the support she needs. The way you are talking, is going to make her feel extemely bad for her decision. Do you really want her to keep a baby cuz she feels bad? Not only that is the guy that got her pregnant responible enough to care for a child? I doubt it. In time she will get over the feelings of regret and know she made the right choice for her at the time. You might not agree but it is her life and you should love her anyway. If you try to prevent it she is just going to end up hating you, not to mention resent a baby she could not care for in the first place.

Answer 11

You need to tell your sister that if this is the choice she is going to make then she needs to find another place to live, immediately.  Let her know that you are offering to help her through her pregnancy and will even help her look at adoption centers that can place her baby with a loving, two-parent home.  If she is going to be so selfish as to have irresponsible s*x, become pregnant then simply toss the baby aside like yesterday's garbage then you do not need to house her one moment longer.  She is an adult and it's about time she starts acting like one. If she refuses to do so then pack her bags tonight and force her to leave.  

You do not need to have the likes of her in your home.

As for her looking bad to your parents is just ridiculous.  She's already living with you, what the heck does it matter what your parents think?  Prove to her that you are helping her, not abandoning her.  Talk to her baby's father.  See if he will help you with her.  If he is supportive and both you and hubby are, she may change her mind.  Act quick!

Answer 12

I am so sorry!

You should continue talking to her about this and remind her that someday she may regret this decision. Lover her, be there for her, and trust that she's doing what's best for her....Good luck to all involved.  

Answer 13

Don't let her kill her baby, why don't you tell her that you'll help take care of the baby, or maybe even adopt it from her. Well i'd make her listen to this song  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqG1wkSOt...   The butterfly is what it's called it's a heart wrencher.  

     I'd call your parents they deserve to know, she's their baby. And explain to her how you feel                                                                      Well if she does go thru with it, don't blame yourself, nothing you can do to not feel sad, but s/he'll stay  nice and safe in heaven, s/he'll understand why his mommy killed him/her, although s/he won't be happy about it.

Answer 14

well, i feel your pain..this also happened with my sister. how ever its not your choice to make. u might want to have a say and all that but u cant. you just have to let her do wat she choses. im so sorry this has to happen to that little baby that you love. best of luck

Answer 15

she won't be able to live knowing she didn't raise the baby ?     What about killing her baby because its an inconvenience?

Know a young girl who was forced to have an abortion, and she can't live with herself even now and the baby would be 1 1/2 yrs old.

she can't forgive herself and I am not her judge, just her mother. it kills me to see that someone would force another to kill a baby. but again, I didn't take Gods' job away from Him, start praying she stops and thinks about it.