Youngest age that you cought your child stealing?

Question

My son is 4 years old and will turn 5 in November. This past weekend we went to the grocery store...of course he saw a toy that he wanted and i told him no he cannot have it today(i didnt have the money) so i told him to put it back..(thought he did) on our way out i notice he has this toy in his hand, and that was the first time i saw him steal! I was very upset and punished him for it. So when is the first time and age you knew about your child steal? And what did you do? what do you think is the most effective punishment when it comes to this situation?

Answer 1

Age 3. My partner and her niece was in JC Penny's and decided to hold a pair of pants behind her back at the checkout. They actually walked into the parkinglot and asked her what she is holding.."uh..nothiiiinng" was the answer!!! She turned her right around and walked back into the store.. She didn't get them but I heard later that her mom decided to buy them. I think that is bad parenting but who am I to judge?

Answer 2

When I was four I was in a grocery store with my mom.

You know how you can buy candy in bulk at some grocery stores? Well one of the containers was left open, and I thought that meant we could take them, so I did. lol.

Answer 3

The reasons why do children steal things are several and the most common causes are as follows.

Lack of proper understanding: Children aged 4 or younger do not understand the concepts of ownership, private property and stealing and consider others things to be their own and take along with them without knowing it as a wrong act.

Lack of self-control: Some children steal things without self-control. They often steal when they get attracted to something new and fascinating item without considering the consequences of stealing.

Jealousy or desire: It is the most common cause of stealing in children at school age. Children at this age often steal when they find others’ things to be more attractive and desire to have similar one that they cannot get or by seeing someone showing precious desired item.

Angry or revenge: Children usually find stealing to be the best way to take revenge on others or make them feel angry. This passive-aggressive stealing behavior usually develops in children with a feeling of powerlessness.

Get attention: Children steal things and return them back to their parents as a way to get closer attention and good impression on them. They also steal things to impress peers or others.

Feeling of excitement: Some children find stealing to be an exciting and daring act and try to steal things without getting caught by others.

Answer 4

My oldest son was three when he did the same thing with a school bus toy from the grocery store while shopping with Dad. The rule is that before we go into any store with any of our kids we talk about what we are getting and what is expected. We use this time to talk about how we need money to buy things from the store and we only have money for these things. We have days when they get to go to the store and pick things out (going a week without having a "potty accident" while we were in the "training phase" was one such occasion). We do it while we are in the parking lot, before we ever get out of the car. I also have a key ring with small, laminated, stick figure pictures that show basic rules of while we are out. (we hold hands, always walk, use a quiet voice, wait our turn in line...ect...) Yes, I made it myself, I got the idea from a similar thing they use at school. This way they have a physical example of what the rules are to turn to when we run into problems and they have something to keep their hands full and busy. This is what we do, it really helps us. We haven't had this happen again since, not with any one of our other kids ever.

Just an honest heads up, be prepared to be banned from a store if you return to the store apologize and return the item. When my son took the bus I was too embarrassed to go back however, three of the parents in my sons youth group went back to apologize and were banned from the store. One for a month and the other two permanently. You would think that you were doing the "right thing" by making an example of your child's actions but the stores would rather you not return then take the chance again. Many parents "claim" they did the "right thing" and took it back, but few can report what the true consequences are when you really do.

Answer 5

Thats a toughie. My daughter stole a few dinosours from daycare when she was 3. I made her return them and apologise

Answer 6

My brother, at age 4, stole underwear once from Wal-Mart! (NO JOKE)

My mom made him  apologize to the owner! He was so embarrased! hhahaha

Answer 7

Mine have not shoplifted but a child in my care did. They returned the item to the cashier with an apology and then was grounded while at my house. I will not tolerate a thief!

You have to make him take it back! If you do not then it is the same as condoning the theft.

Answer 8

Although you and I know it as stealing, your 4-year-old doesn't have a very clear idea of money and how we go about buying things. What he does know is that we go to the grocery store, pick up the items we want and go to the cashier who then packs the items so we can go home with them. Explain to him that we need money to buy the things we need, and that if you were to buy the toy there will be no money to buy the milk, apples, cookies etc. I think the best way to avoid something like this happening again is not to punish him but to let him know what he can or cannot buy. Let him know toys are for special occasions not every grocery trip.

Answer 9

Children can walk out of a store at any age (as long as they can grab something)with an unpaid item.  I wouldn't call it stealing until they are at least school aged.  They just don't have the capacity to understand the concept of stealing.  Yes, a parent should make them take the item back in the store and apologize...that is obvious.  But I don't really feel that a punishment would work because the child just wouldn't understand what he/she did that was wrong.

Answer 10

i saw a three old stealing a pack of gum

Answer 11

About two, when they were old enough to grab stuff!

Answer 12

Evidently when I was 2 I stole a very small, red bouncy ball from the grocery store. My parents took it and I got sent to time out for a 7 minutes or so.

Answer 13

This is a debate-- When is the "age" that kids know that taking something that's not theirs is "stealing?"

ALL young kids take things. It's part of toddler law- "If I want it, it's mine!"

At 4, they may "know better" to take without permission, but they do not know legal laws or the consequences. That's why if a juvenile steals, it's on the heads of the parents.

Talk to your son about it, and maybe role play at home. Make sure you set an example, too. In front of your son, ask your husband to use something of "his." Ask your son to play with his toys, etc, before "taking" them. Understand? He probably sees at home, that the parents take what they want, when they want! They have no clue that there are rules about taking things like that at someone else's home.