Your 14 year old daughter asks you if she can go on birth control, what is your reaction?

Question

curious.

because i am 14,

and me and my boyfriend are thinking of becoming sexually active with one another ..

i really dont want to go behind my parents back and go through all that troucle to get birth control at planned parenthood or whatever without them knowing,

so, moms and dads, how would you react?

and how exactly should i tell them about my decision?

Answer 1

im 16 yr. old guy.

dont even think about becoming sexually active, honestly dont.

keep your innocence till marriage, you will have so much more respect from your spouse if you keep it, ESPecially if he is a virgin too.

im not some nerd who doesnt get any, i choose not to b/c i have self respect for myself and the girl i will eventually marry.

...even if you do, what happens after you break up???

you lost your virginity to that guy.

and if the dude doesnt accept the fact that you want to stay a virgin, dump him. all he wants is that, and that alone

Answer 2

You should first start doing a lot of research and have a talk gynecologist about the best birth control options for someone your age.  Hormonal birth control can have some bad side effects.  

It's good that you want to talk this over with your parents.  Your boyfriend should also be included in this because if this is a decision that you and he have made, he should be involved in the cost too.  

Now, all that being said, if my (fictional) daughter told me she wanted to have s*x - truthfully?  I would be disappointed and scared.  A parent wants to protect their children from harm and s*x at such a young age can bring SO many bad things along with it.  And I don't want to sound sexist here, but especially for a girl.  They are the ones that bear the pregnancies and have a higher chance of catching an STD.  And they are the ones that bear the double standard of "a girl who has s*x is a s**t, while a guy who has had s*x is not"  

I would have a long LONG talk with my daughter about her reasons for wanting to have s*x and if she has considered all the consequences.  I would remind her that s*x should be saved for loving, caring, relationships where a future can be seen.  

Honestly, I don't know what I would do about the birth control aspect though.  14 is just SO young.  If she were a bit older 16 or 17, I would still have the same talk, but make sure she had access to birth control.  14 years old, honestly, I don't know what I would do.

Answer 3

thats grose, and i would be getting the belt, no s*x till ur 30! lol na make it till 16-18 atleast please lol

Answer 4

you dont have to tell your parents your going to be sexually active. many of my friends use birth control just so they dont have there period for a full week. you should tell your parents you hate your period and you just want to have it for 3 days instead of 5 or 7 and birth control does the trick. it works for my friends =]

Answer 5

why would you want to have s*x if you don't want to have a baby plus any good parent wouldn't even think of letting there 14 year old have s*x

Answer 6

I would wonder why she wanted it, but I would more likely than not, give it to her regardless, because I would rather her be safe then her get pregnant, especially if she got pregnant after telling me she would be sexually active. (of course, I would also do everything in my power to keep her from doing that in my house)

Answer 7

I would teach her how to put a condom on her boyfriend, buy them for her, making sure they are the correct size for him (uncomfortable, I know) and that they are the safest condoms possible (latex, nonoxinol 9 etc), and I would tell her to please always carry some with her.  I would never allow my daughter to go on chemical birth control... I know from experience that it does terrible things to a girls reproductive future.  I would not react in any negative way, except to just let her (or him) know that teenage s*x is rarely very good s*x, so not to expect too much greatness out of it.  I repeat though...I will teach her how to apply the condom...it's amazing how many boys s***w this up and I want my daughter to have no question that it is done and done right!!!!  I would also buy her spermicide jelly to use on herself just in case of a condom mishap AND get her to an obgyn after her first time, just to get a check up, then take her every year thereafter.  I have a 12 year old boy and a baby daughter... this is what my husband and I just ironed out a few days ago.

Answer 8

just use a condom and your parents wont know anything.

Answer 9

Please wait until you're older.  I was 14 when I lost my virginity.  I have regretted it all my life.  I am embarrassed to tell people I was so young and sexually active... it sounds "trashy."  Please don't make this mistake.  You will have all the opportunities you want to have s*x later in life.  Don't let your boyfriend, friends or anyone else make you think you are mature enough right now.  Once you lose your virginity, you will never be able to get it back.

Answer 10

I'd slap you in the face!

Answer 11

i would tell my daughter she's stupid and slap her

Answer 12

on my 13th birthday i said i would like birthcontrol she said no thats the worst that could happen but in the end she suprised me.

Answer 13

If you were my daughter I would be happy that you came to me to talk about it for starters. Next, we would discuss the different consequences of having s*x so early. Of course I am not for it at your age at all I would explain to you why because that goes alot further than just saying "No! Are you stupid?" s*x is a big deal. My first time was when I was seventeen and I really didn't understand what the fuss was about until I was twenty. Your hormones are raging but are your hormones ready for what might happen even if you are on birth control? Pregnancy is not the only issue. I work in a hospital and I see girls with sexually transmitted diseases that are your age. Alot of these diseases are things that won't go away with antibiotics, they are there for life. Try explaining that to the next person you decide to become intimate with. Anyway, birth control can be effective but it can also be ineffective if not taken properly. You have to ask yourself if you are ready for a baby. Are you ready to give up everything right when it is just starting to begin. There is no guarantee the baby will be healthy. What if the baby has special needs? It is a lot to think about when making such an important decision. However, I do applaud your efforts in wanting to involve your parents in your decision and trying to be responsible about it. Good Luck in what ever you decide.

Answer 14

I would beat the living **** out of you until you were 16 (The age i think you should only have s*x) 14 is too young and you should reconsider your image as being the class w***e is not what you want to be. Being a virgin at 14 is normal being a w***e or pregnant is worse than getting bullied

Answer 15

I think they would tell you that you are much too young for s*x.  What's the rush?  You are only 14...slow down.  You will be in love a dozen more times before you find 'the one'.

Answer 16

depends on how uptight they are about that kind of thing, but really they should be happy that you're mature enough to go to them and talk about it and be safe about it.

just tell them that while you are not sexually active now, you and your boyfriend have been together for a while and you think that it may happen  soon and you want to be prepared when it does.

Answer 17

they should be glad you dont want to go behind their back and your being responsible.yeah your to young to be having s*x i lost my virginity at 14 also.but your going to do it regardless of what people say so get on birthcontrol good luck!i never did get prego tell recently im going to be 23 thats because i used protection,but just remember theres alway a chance you can get prego with protection and birth control

Answer 18

first of all, I wish you would wait. You think you are emotionally mature enough at this age for s*x, but neither of you are. Besides, birth control is never 100% - are you ready to possibly get pregnant and have a baby at your age? Also, if he has slept around before, you can catch a sexually transmitted disease from him. Now, about the emotional part. Girls get very attached to boys they sleep with, especially their first one. How will you feel if he breaks up with you after you have slept with him? I can almost guarantee he will. Very few people can maintain a monogamous relationship at 14. You need to be dating lots of people, without having s*x, so you can see what kinds of boys you like. Don't get so serious so soon.

I would definitely talk to my Mom before going to a clinic.

Answer 19

I would say, "No."  There is no reason a girl (or even a woman, but especially not someone who is practically a child) should have to put her wellbeing at risk with hormones, just to satisfy a boy's preference for a latex-free shag.  If he would wish her to do this, he is either misinformed about hormonal birth control or does not care about her.  My friend's thyroid got completely messed up that way.  She went from being a thin teenager to an overweight young adult who has serious fertility problems.  I was also on hormonal birth control for a while and experienced depression, weight gain, and libido loss.

I would elaborate to say that I don't think she is old enough to have s*x and implore her to wait at least a couple of years.  I would add that when she does decide to have s*x - which I hope is not for a long time - she must, must, must hand the boy a condom for protection against both STDs and pregnancy, without putting her hormonal health at risk.

Answer 20

I would NOT be happy. Fourteen year olds have no business having s*x. At fourteen you're still just a kid.

  All of my friends who lost their virginity at an early age have said that they regret it and wish that they had waited until they were older.

  However, it is good that you're taking all of the necissary precautions before having s*x, condoms, birth control, etc. But believe me, you should still wait until you're grown.

I would probably let my daughter go on the pill though because I would rather not take the chance of her getting pregnant.

  Also, at your age you're going to fall in love with lots of guys, but the chance of finding "the one" at fourteen is VERY slim. Teenage romances very rarely last.

Don't have s*x unless you're ready to deal with the consequences, pregnancy and stds. There is always a chance that the condom will break or the birth control isn't effective.

Answer 21

i wouldnt feel comfortable judging you or making a decision about your situation- it really is up to you.  All i will say is that if your parents are fairly easy going people, honesty will be your best policy.  Let them know you want to be sexually active and, hopefully, they will be sensible enough to at least respect the fact you want to be safe.  If you are honest with them, hopefully they wil help you out as much as they can and be understanding

Answer 22

I would tell you that you are to young (you are sorry) but I would put you on the birth control because try as I might, I cannot stop you from having s*x, I could only hope you would wait.

Answer 23

"your decision"? it actually saddens me that so many girls now are losing their virginity under the age of consent, it's so stupid because most teenage relationships especially at your age never last for more than a year

Answer 24

Good for you for thinking this one through. It's very mature of you, and frankly, I would be proud to have you as a daughter.

14 is awfully young to think about having s*x, but at least you're willing to take the necessary precautions. I think I would feel very grateful if my daughter came to me and wanted to talk about birth control. I would be glad she felt comfortable enough coming to me first before going behind my back and getting the pill on her own.

I can't say that I wouldn't be disappointed, but I would be impressed that my daughter was thinking about her future.

I would just tell your mom that you and your boyfriend are getting serious about each other physically. If you've been with him for a while, this should come as no surprise to your mom. After all, she wasn't born yesterday. LOL Tell her that you just want to be on the safe side and go on the pill in case you want to take things further. Don't be afraid to ask her anything you're curious about or worried about. She's your mom...she can tell you all kinds of things. : )

Good luck, and kudos to you for playing it safe!

Answer 25

you seem a little young, but I guess it's better than being pregnant.  It's bound to be a touchy subject but if you do some research and go into it with maturity and knowledge, they are more likely to see you as a responsible 'adult' and less like a confused kid.  I'm not going to say there won't be a fight about it, but at least you'll have some good points to back up your argument.  As for going about it, I would talk to both of them together, singling one out for this type of discussion may upset the other one even more.  Also, you may want your bf there for support, but your folks may want to kill him, too.  That one is going to have to be your call.  good luck!!!!

Answer 26

USE PROTECTION AND BIRTH CONTROL lol std's are prevented with pills. guys also lie so if your his "first"  you could be his 3rd lol just saying how it is. but i think you should tell your parents you want to do it and you do have to understand it comes with a lot of responsibility. if i were you i woudnt worry about the pill i would get the depo shot you are only 14 and with school and things like that you may forget to take your pill then forget a condom and that is all it takes to get pregnant. i have a 7 month old daughter lol i guess i will see when she asks me for birth control. good luck dear. and ignore all the people with negative answers its a legit question!!

Answer 27

I think that teens will do what they want even if you preach to them, BUT of course I would still preach to my daughter not to. But I would praise her for coming to her parents for advice and if after all the talking if I needed to help her get on the pill I would because 14 is too young to have a baby. I just hope you understand that you have your whole life to have s*x and if he liked/loved you he would wait because YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT!!!!

Answer 28

First off, I think you are very wise to talk to your parents about this before having s*x with your boyfriend. Your parents can answer questions and guide you in a way that no one else can. I am not sure how your parents will react since I don't know them or their belief system but I believe talking to them first rather than having s*x in an irresponsible way can only bring good.

Answer 29

Please don't do it.

I have been there, done that, and it wasn't fun and I regret it with everything in my soul.  I soooooo wish I had been older.

I did go to my mom and she got me on birth control but she cried and I felt bad.

It's too early, honey.  Don't give yourself away to him.  BELIEVE ME... YOU WILL REGRET IT.  Save yourself for someone really really really special.  You don't have to wait for marriage, but at least wait until you're grown.  You don't need this type of pressure and regret in your mind at this time in your life.

Besides, birth control won't protect you against all the lovely STD's you could catch even using condoms.  Herpes, warts, all those things can grow on the areas that the condoms don't cover.  Why do you think so many people have herpes and genital warts?

Also, I think you're too young to have a boyfriend too.  Focus on YOURSELF right now and forget about pleasing someone else.

Answer 30

No way!

Answer 31

Please, for the love of God don't. My wife and I already pay enough taxes, I don't want to pay more to support you or your out of wedlock kids.