Your opinion on this . ?

Question

In hindsight

I could have handled it better when

you threw yourself onto our bed

drowing in the sheets

with only marshmellow pillows

to keep you afloat.

You're most vivid when

we sat in hot tubs

hot boxed

in the hot summer breeze

holding out for some rainbow

that might come

after the rain

that never will

and I mused through tears

of sundays when

we'd ponder little things like

dainty fingers and

what flavor ice cream we would be

dreaming about parasols

and how the sun always managed to turn us red

without them.

The memories of traded glances

in the firelight of the lantern festival

where flames inside paper houses

were meant to banish bad things, but

you never seemed to mind it

no, not at all

even if you were the worst

thing that could have happened.

and

now I let myself drown

in the softness that is

the impression you made,

sampling the blankets but

nothing ever seems as warm,

as you.

Answer 1

I liked the romanticness (yes, I know, it is not a word) of this poem. I liked how you put and in between the stanzas but not with one. It makes you absolutely need to read the last stanza.

For some reason, I was biting my nails in anticipation, even though I know it wasn't a suspenseful poem.

Don't get rid of "I mused through tears"! That is one of my favorite lines! My favorite stanza is the third one, because it brings a new emotion (sadness) to this piece. I give it a solid 8.7/10.0. Keep up the good work!

Hope I helped!

Answer 2

I like poetry, but I love this one.....

Answer 3

No.  I really love the third stanza; it adds an element of pathos and tenderness.  My favorite stanza is, however, the last.  It is so bittersweet and sensitive.  I think the repetition of the word "drown" is, in this case, a good thing.  It ties the first and last stanzas together and they come full circle in the aspect of drowning in the sheets. Altogether a very nice work.  Thank you.