Question:

Your opinions/advice concerning my poem?

by  |  earlier

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Voici la Vie

The land, sharp white-brown

fades to green

and tentative twigs test the air

murmuring; is it ready for leaves?

Are we ready for spring?

A sprout, newly born

ducks its head under a cap seed

first heartbeats humming

gleaming with dew

searching for the sun amongst the weeds.

Earth spins, sprouts grow

spinning themselves a sweater, bark, waiting

waiting ‘til they can fight free of the undergrowth

when their first swirling gust of weather

shivers down their spine

enticing those forever tethered.

Straight-proud, taller always

branches climbing rungs, a tree

still stretching, singing skywards

so close

to the sun

yet a stars-length out of reach.

And finally, and finally

an apple ‘pon the tree

spun in stoplight shades

filled with hopes and dreams…

Come autumn apples leap

floating gently with the leaves

trees waving worried good-byes-

their darlings flown away.

And plop!

one drops

bobbing in the river

all and any life before it

unknown

exciting

free

and ah

voici la vie

an apple tree.

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1 ANSWERS


  1. much good here!  

    ??? both??

    apples leap floating gently

    can the river play a more life like part? A line or two?  

    nice job a like the trees.

    Your tree has so much life!!!

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