Your opinions appreciated--Smile?

Question

Service with a Smile

Service with a smile

No need to pursue

Just a little grin

Give a little chuckle

Warn up the pen

Write out the grievances

Stamp the stark paper

Bright crimson red

File it away till next time

They may want to- you

To pull it out

Someday

Straighten up the stance

Maintain a pretty portrait

Gloom in the skies

Water fountains off

The pennies lay rusted

Service with a smile

Mute the commentator

No one wants to listen

To much interference

Save the words for later

When no one is around

The substance stings

Eyes begin to moisten

Turn off the leaking faucet

Lay down the tattered towel

Everything feels familiar

Service with a smile

Maintain a constant temperature

The mirrored picture

Speaks a thousands words

A heavy heart

Needs rearrangement

The blanket floats

To the hardened bed

Hide the stains

That makes it imperfect

No one will even notice

Answer 1

"Hi!"

I'm not sure why so many found it a bit vague. It's all there written clear as daisies, except the daises are no longer yellow but Grey. A good thing about poetry is that you can release the emotions from within, than to bottle it all up inside. There is no need to hide your face, nor tears in front of people as we are all humans, we all have good times and bad times, some more than others. We all share emotions, so I say release it to the world. Otherwise you will begin to loose yourself in depression. It's a lot easier to get to depression, than it is getting out.

All and All. I thought it expressed your emotions well, even though the in depth part was splashed with red , black and Grey. Your poetry it self was displayed with vibrant colours of yellow, green,orange and mauve. So great work and keep up the good work.

WELL DONE : )

Answer 2

There is not a complete sentence in it. So Its more like prose, not really poetry. The imagery is nice, but it doesn't make much sense to me. I'd like more grammar in it.

Answer 3

its a run on, needs a little more for me to grasp the imagery, but I still managed to understand it, and well feel a Lil saddened =)

Answer 4

This is the best thing on the board right now. Not perfect, but very good.