Your opinions on this would be appreciated?

Question

My childhood.

Full of burned out buildings,

And glass ceilings, nothing appealing.

Hopes sent reeling,

Spiraling,

Spinning,

Out of control.

By the tender age of nine,

I carried an old soul,

My heart began to mold.

My story untold,

Yet I was ready to fold,

And crumble.

When life passed me the ball, I fumbled!

Better yet, I stumbled!

Missed a step and tumbled,

But had sense,

And strength enough,

To look at that building,

To see hope building,

For the future of children,

Just

Like

Me.

Answer 1

I might have written this had I the courage and the skill and the talent and the will. This is truly  inspirational and encouraging. Your poem is a building housing your heart ......inviting us in.. !  Thank you!

Answer 2

Uplifting and heart pounding... all I can really say is WOW! It is nice to see this format again, though it has no specific format that I know of... then again I know nothing of form! The rhyme the beat, it is all so enthralling... I have no critique for I bow to your skill and soul... I would love to see more!

Answer 3

Very Nice Semper Fi!  Has a lot to say and says it.  Great beat and rhythm for the read.  I'd give it a 10!

Answer 4

Heady stuff, Semper!   I feel like you wrote this for all of us who have really had to make it on our own, for ourselves and our children.  To stop the cycle of ignorance, poverty, and abuse takes great strength and even more courage.  Thank you for this offering!

Answer 5

Good... it has style which adds to it's "aliveness."  I appreciate your actually rhyming now and then, too!  Too often these days, rhyme is sacrificed for "style."  You prove you can have both.

Have an "artsy" day.

Answer 6

cool

Answer 7

I'm assuming the "building" was either a church or a school. Either one would build hope for the next generation. This poem is almost a rap. I could hear the music.

Answer 8

Magnificent.  Hope springs eternal.

Answer 9

Woah. very mystical.