Your spouse of 11 years goes out one night with her friends & returns home at 4:30am, are you angry?

Question

Do you automatically suspect something that shouldn't have gone on did?

Do you stay up waiting for them to come home?

(keep in mind that said spouse goes out with friends once or twice a year, and handles multiple responsibilities)

Answer 1

No I wouldn't wait up for her, but yes I would be angry.  I don't automatically suspect something, but I would be a bit suspicious about it.  What would bother me the most about it would be that, not only did she spend so much time away from me, it would incapacitate her for the next day too.  So let's say she did that on Friday night.  She would sleep at least until noon, if not longer, on Saturday, and then be tired all day.  So, pretty much our whole weekend is ruined because she couldn't be responsible enough to get to bed at a reasonable time.

Answer 2

WHAT? cause i wouldnt go mad at her she only goes out once or twice a year and she was relaing with her friends that she doesnt get to do often. i am very thankful i am not married to you if thats your view!

Answer 3

I would have been waiting up and would require some answers as to why they are dragging in at 4:30. Yes they deserve to go out once in a while but staying out so late is pushing it. Bars close at 2, so what was going on for the last 2 1/2 hours needs to be explained.

Answer 4

Once or twice a year, come on, go to bed !  Stop feeling so insecure and try trusting her !

Answer 5

I assume she was drunk.

But, that's my wife....she also does this a few times a year....excepct we have s*x when she comes home.

Answer 6

If my wife went out with friends and didn't come until 4:30am, I would wonder why she even came home at all?  Why be that stupid?  Why not just spend the night at her friends?  Or stay with whoever it was she was out that late with and cook up believable story afterwards about how she had to take care of a girlfriend who had too much to drink?  But coming home at 4:30am shows some pretty bad judgement.  

SIDE NOTE:  Nothing wrong with wives having a girls night out to have some drinks, do some shopping, catch a movie, have a nice dinner, and be home at a reasonable hour.   And there's nothing wrong with guys going out to have a few beers, watch the game, play some pool, and have some guy time.  But why would a happily married husband OR wife feel the need to stay out partying until 4am?  Doing it together while the kids are at grandmas is one thing......pretending to be single for a couple nights a year is another.  

Answer 7

not a  biggie, I would address the time, NO WOMAN needs to be out that late..... and for her to at least call you at say.....2:00 "hey hun, going to the casino or Kathy's house, I'm safe"  Give you the courtesty.  One or twice a year, she is an awsome wife.  Don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 8

occasionaly if this happend ignore . ask abt her evening live life happy

Answer 9

I personally think you reading to much into your wife's night out with friends.  My wife occasionally goes out with her friends, on the times that she may have drank to much she will stay at someones house then come home in the morning.  I do not worry or stay awake waiting on her.  Besides, if she pick up some new lover, she would hurry home to tell me all about the event.  Relax, it is nice that you and your wife have the trust in each other to make their own decision without fear of jealousy.

Answer 10

i would just let it go. just because they were out late doesn't mean she did anything wrong.

Answer 11

i would certainly have a question or to. but would i ask it?. i guess this is where that trust thing comes into play.

Answer 12

No I wouldn't. I'd just assume he had too much to drink and fell asleep on someones couch.

Answer 13

you show a small "attitude" about why you didn't get a phone call by midnight explaining he would be out late.  then you let him get plenty of sleep and a decent breakfast the next day.

it's only a big deal if you turn it into one.  staying out until 4:30am means nothing, he shouldn't have a curfew just because he's married, but he should understand loved ones DO worry when they are excessively late because we all watch the news and accidents can and do happen.

Answer 14

If it is only once or twice a year then you are over reacting.  What I would say though is when the next time rolls around say something like I would appreciate if you came in a little earlier this time then last because I really worry about you and love you but I cannot stay up that late and I am sure you would not want me staying out that late.

Answer 15

Trust is a must:)

Doesn't everyone go to breakfast after the bar?

Answer 16

As long as they can account for those 2 and a half hours, I'd be ok about it. If not, or I smelled rat, then it could be a problem.

Answer 17

I think I would ask what took him so long to come home. But you should have trust in your relationship. I would give him the benefit of the doubt unless this becomes a reoccurring thing.  

Answer 18

Trust issues much?  

Answer 19

Don't be angry with her.  She sounds like she needs to let loose once in a while with all the responsibilities and not going out that often, and she was probably just sleeping off the alcohol before driving home.  Don't automatically get upset, it will only make her upset.  Calmly ask why she stayed out so late and let her know you were worried.  After 11 years you'd think there would be enough trust between you two to not to think the worst unless there are other issues going on here.  

Answer 20

Let's go a little deeper.

My wife has cheated in the past.

She went out with another girl, and 2 guys.

One of the guys she said was HOT, gave her home number to, and works with him at the same office.

How should that be handled?