Your thoughts please!!! asking again as no replies before

Question

i have a child to my ex,i sometimes look after his other son whom he had to somone else,i dont mind as hes a lovely lad,recently ive been watching him every few days which i dont mind,its just he never asks and just expects me to ,never says thanks.what gets me mad is i always cook so theres always something for his son at meal times rarely they will phone their dad for a kfc and hel get them one But leaves everyone else out myself and my other two boys who arent his,do you think this is ok?? i think thes nasty and tight and im getting annoyed now. am i his glorified babysitter as he picks his son up and drops him off here when hes supposed tbe spending time with him and not me

Answer 1

You say you don't mind but obviously you do or else you wouldn't be writing about it.

He's using you so put a stop to it right now. You don't owe him anything and as for feeding and looking after another woman's child - no, no, no!

Answer 2

You gotta front him up about this, he needs to be taking more responsibility.  You are doing the right thing and i wish more people were like you.  But it would seem this guy is using you for his own ends......be straight and honest with him-if he blows up and argues keep your cool and point out what you want from him.

Try not to use ultimatums in case he calls your bluff-or you intend to stand by them.  You got one life - sharing is cool but its a 2 way street - so you live your life too!!

All the best, hope it works out

Bob

Answer 3

I would talk to him about it... He thinks that you should just look after his son and feed him etc yet he won't buy you all food.  Seems that he is taking advantage of the fact that you do care for his son.  Don't let his son get in the middle of an arguement, it's not fair, it's not his fault.  Have a chat to your ex in private, and tell him how you feel about the situation.  And remember, if he says something along the lines of "well then i just won't bring my son round anymore"....you will need to tell his son that you love having him around and that he can come round whenever he likes and that you are there for him.

This kid will feel pretty horrible if he feels that you don't want him around so make sure that doesn't happen.

Hope things work out, don't be walked over, you are not a doormat!

good luck

Answer 4

it would be best if you tell your ex that as much as you like his son from another woman, you are not that kid's mother.  you are also not the designated babysitter for all of his kids.  

also the next time that he asks for you to babysit his other son, try saying no.  ask where the kid's mother is.  she should be the one taking care of her son.