disrespectful stepson

Answer 1

I am in a similar situation. My husband and I are raising five children ages: 16,15,14,13,and 7. For the most part, things are good. Three of the children are mine two are his but they are all ours. There are no step-parents involved. We have full custody of all the kids all the time.  The problem is the 13 year old. Since I have known him, he has been angry, rude, and disrespectful to me unless he needs my help with something. I have been patient and tolerant of his behavior. He is disrespectful to teachers, and other adults. He breaks things when he is angry and rarely takes responsibility for his actions. He throws temper tanrums and crying fits. He has even cried publically in front of his peers which is very uncharacteristic of boys at this age.  His father works out of town frequently and is away from home during the week. I keep all of the kids involved with extracurriclar activities ranging from dance, theatre, baseball, band, Civil Air Patrol, and music lessons. All of the children do well in school, are respectful, self-motivated and compassionate, with the exception of the 13 year old. He is very manipulative and lies to get his way. My husband is very inconsistent with punishments and often changes the "house Rules" for this one. I have discussed the importance of consistency and expectations with my husband, but he is not seeing the whole picture. The other kids in the house have started to accept this behavior, but I can't. I realize that he is crying out for help in a most dysfunctional way. I have mentioned counseling but my husband is opposed. I love this kid with all my heart and hate to see him so angry.

He directs a lot of his anger towards me when hisdad is not around. I just keep loving him and being patient and hoping one day he will call me "mom." Any advice?? I feel your pain and my heart aches for you. I know what you are going through...